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Selman's Stages of Friendship Development

By: Morgan Ulrich

Ages 11 and older

  • Friendship as seen as a stable, continuing relationship based on trust.
  • Children can observe their friendship relationships from the perspective of a third party.

Ages 9-12

Ages 6 and Under

  • Friendship is based on genuine give-and-take.
  • Friends are seen as people who help each other.
  • The mutual evaluation of each other's actions occurs.
  • The concept of trust appears.

Ages 7-9

  • Friendship is based on physical or geographic factors.
  • Children are self-centered, with no understanding of the perspectives of others.
  • Friendships begins to be based on reciprocity and awareness of others' feelings.
  • Friendship beings to be based on social actions and evaluation by each other's actions.
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