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Barney is trying to use textual evidence. What is wrong with this excerpt from Barney's literary analysis essay???
In Shakespeare's Hamlet, Claudius and Gertrude are incredibly insensitive to Hamlet’s suffering. First, his mother does not validate his grief. “[C]ast thy nighted color off…all that lives must die, [p]assing through nature to eternity” (I.ii.69, 72-73). Claudius is no better at offering support to Hamlet. “Tis unmanly grief, [that] shows a will most incorrect to heaven” (I.ii.84-95).
When Melinda skips school, she starts hanging out in hospital waiting rooms. Initially, she feels soothed, but eventually she grows uneasy and leaves because "these are sick people, sick you can see" (Anderson 132). By saying this, Melinda shows that she thinks only people with a physical injury, or with an injury that is visible, are worthy of treatment. She is buying into the mentality that mental illness, such as depression, is not real, and that the sufferer should just 'get over it.' This mentality does is further enable Melinda to remain shelled up in herself and her closet instead of speaking and seeking help. It also shows she doesn't feel that she is worthy of help.
Overview
wRite
Explain
Overall Significance
Barney edited and revised his paper. Why is this draft better?
"Blah blah blah" (Numeroff 15).
"Blah blah blah." (Numeroff 15)
"Blah blah blah. (Numeroff 15)"
"Blah blah blah (Numeroff 15)."
"Blah blah blah" (Numeroff, 15).
"Blah blah blah." (Numeroff, 15)
"Blah blah blah (Numeroff, 15)"
"Blah blah blah (Numeroff, 15)."
Topic
Evidence
Explain
Sum it Up
Claudius and Gertrude are incredibly insensitive to Hamlet’s suffering. First, his mother does not validate his grief by telling Hamlet to “cast thy knighted color off…all that lives must die, [p]assing through nature to eternity” (I.ii.69, 72-73). She tries to dismiss death as being a natural fact of life. While her lack of sympathy seems callous, it could be her way of trying to rationalize her overhasty marriage to Claudius. Claudius is no better at offering support to Hamlet. He insults Hamlet by calling his mourning “unmanly grief, [that] shows a will most incorrect to heaven” (I.ii.84-95). By saying this, Claudius is insulting Hamlet’s manhood, implying that it is womanly to mourn the death of one’s father. He also is trying to make Hamlet think that he is being blasphemous and going against God’s will by grieving his father’s death, since, according to Claudius, it was God who decided to end King Hamlet’s time on earth. Claudius, in truth, is trying to ensure everyone moves on from King Hamlet’s death quickly so that they are less likely to discover that he murdered his own brother.
Federigo found himself facing a huge dilemma when Giovanna, the love of his life, finally arrived at his house for a meal, but he had no worthy food to offer her. Realizing that, he scrambled to find something and in a panic killed his falcon to serve her. Due to his emphatic love for Giovanna, "he wrung its neck and quickly gave it to his servant girl to pluck, prepare, and place on a spit to be roasted with care" (Boccaccio 155). After the meal, Giovanna confessed to him that she actually only came to request the falcon for her ill son, but she had just unknowingly eaten it. The irony is that in order to try to please his love, Federigo had just deprived himself and Giovanna of the one thing they want.
Your reflections and essays should NOT be one paragraph! Each new idea should be a new paragraph, and each idea should be supported with examples and evidence from the text.
Remember TEES!
1. New idea = New paragraph
2. Each paragraph should be composed using TEES
3. Quotes shouldn't spontaneously appear from nowhere.
4. Use OREO to integrate quotes
5. Cite your work properly!
Realizing that he had nothing to serve Giovanna for dinner, in a panic, Federigo killed his falcon to serve her. "He wrung its neck and quickly gave it to his servant girl to pluck, prepare, and place on a spit to be roasted with care" (Boccaccio 155).
Realizing that he had nothing to serve Giovanna for dinner, in a panic, Federigo killed his falcon to serve her. Due to his emphatic love for Giovanna, "He wrung its neck and quickly gave it to his servant girl to pluck, prepare, and place on a spit to be roasted with care" (Boccaccio 155).