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Conflict Mediation: The Process & Key Points
Preventing Conflict Using the Roommate Agreement
Reviewing the 7 Steps of the Conflict Mediation Process
Questions/Wrap-up
Conflict is the word used to describe a disagreement, typically between two or more people, caused by real or perceived differences of opinion, approach, or values.
What are some examples of conflicts you've had or witnessed?
Be empathetic
Be mindful of your language (verbal and non-verbal)
Use 'I' statements
Mindfully contribute to the conversation
Actively listen
Active listening is the art of listening with your whole body. Your goal is to acknowledge and affirm what the speaker is saying, both verbally and non-verbally.
Make eye contact
Face the speak
Lean in
Keep an open body posture
Mirror the speaker's body language
Mind the speaker's and your facial expressions
Use reframing techniques ("What I hear you saying is...")
Communication involves the exchange of information, and can occur through a variety of media
Verbal Communication vs. Non-verbal Communication
Most conflict is the result of mis-communication, or the unsuccessful exchange of information
Conflict Resolution vs. Mediation: Both are critical to your success as an RA
http://www.creducation.org/resources/conflict_management/conflict_styles.html
Which is your style of conflict resolution?
Take the information collected in step 4 and facilitate a conversation about options that allow both participants' needs to be met realistically.
It is important to check for understanding early and often during this portion of the process so that clear options can be created.
It is not your role to come up with solutions for the participants.
Engage all involved parties in a one-on-one conversation prior to the mediation
Both parties must be willing to participate in the mediation
Sometimes only one person will be willing to participate in the mediation. This will not a mediation make!
Providing your opening statement as the mediator is critical to the success of the mediation process
This should include: statement of confidentiality and impartiality, ground rules, review of roles, overview of process/goal(s)
Location is also very important - Select a comfortable location that is private and an area neutral to both parties (i.e. a lounge with a door, a classroom, an office)
Review solutions created in step 5
Ask participants to reflect on which one(s) they prefer
Ensure that solutions reflect both parties' needs/interests, as well as the needs/interests of your community
Allow each party involved the opportunity to provide their own version of the issues at hand
Reframe statements once the first participant has concluded speaking, in order to ensure understanding
Repeat for each additional participant
Ensure participants are speaking directly to each other and not through you, the mediator
Utilize the establish roommate agreement and make adjustments/additions reflective of the agreed upon solutions.
Have all parties sign the updated agreement and provide copies for their records.
In some cases, you will need to enlist the assistance of your supervisor to draft an additional agreement for both parties to sign.
You should be in constant communication with your supervisor prior to and after facilitating the mediation
There will be instances in which your supervisor (or another RA) will need to be present for the mediation, and/or facilitate the mediation on your behalf
Whenever the mediation does not succeed in meeting the desired ends, your supervisor will ALWAYS step in.
Allow each participant the opportunity to state what they would like to achieve by participating in the mediation
Record this information along with your other notes from the mediation
Ensure their stated needs/interests are reflective of the issues described in step 3
If they are not, reframe what you've understood the issues to be and ask for clarification on the connection
Doesn't show favorites
Remains impartial
Is a good listener
Is empathetic
Can help each party see the other's side
Can taken in all the facts and discern key issues/feelings
A disciplinarian
A judge
An advice giver
A gossip
A therapist
Dishonest
Get into groups of four: One person will play the RA, two will play the residents, and the fourth person will play the observer
Observer: it is your job to keep an eye on areas of strength and opportunity in mediation for the person playing the RA role, and the varying conflict resolution styles demonstrated by those playing the resident roles.
Challenge your residents to think through all aspects of the agreement completely and honestly
Challenge your residents to reflect upon and discuss their personal "triggers" and ways of managing both conflict and stress
Provide your residents with effective communication and stress management techniques both during the roommate agreement meeting and throughout the semester
Resources:
IREX Conflict Resolution and Peer Mediation Tool Kit, http://irex.org/resource/conflict-prevention-and-peer-mediation-toolkit
Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Resolution Styles, http://www.creducation.org/resources/conflict_management/conflict_styles.html
Conflict and Mediation for RA Training Fall '13 by Sara Schilling, http://prezi.com/lfx7pxuinzyg/conflict-and-mediation-for-ra-training-fall-13/