Leadership Language

To remember, think of Queen B, AKA Yonce

--if you like them (even if you don't because you are student leaders and you should be kind to everyone)...then put a ring on it--a platinum versus a gold one.

A metaphor about the golden rule versus the platinum rule.

Someone give me an idea for an event, quick!

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Who's been called a kid this year?

Definition of kid

="young goat"

="deceive as a joke"

Why do people keep calling each other that or let faculty and staff use the word?

Quad

Kid

Gyp

Student Id

Crazy/Insane

Guys

Seen as derogatory for people who are paraplegic.

Baby goat, just playing.

From "gypsies", who were massacred during the Holocaust.

Student asked that we call it Student Body Card due to saying "show me your ID" being triggering

Makes fun of and belittles those with mental health issues

Literally means men. Why is it OK to use gendered language to call everyone male and not female?

This presentation will be a 20 Minute Rosetta Stone crash course for "Whale 101": Inclusive Problem Solving Language

Using "and" or "also" instead of "but".

"And" Instead of "But"

‘But’ makes whatever said before not count; use ‘AND’ instead.

Example: “I really like that idea, BUT I’m worried if students will actually participate.....”

Above, you are saying you don’t actually like their idea. You could phrase it “I really like that idea, AND I’m still a little worried if students will actually participate because.....”

Who Can Change This?

That's cool you're talking about supporting DACA, but I just don't get it.

Using "I" Statements

What is this?

In Your Communication:

Bring Others Up

Example:

An issue arises during retreat after an activity and one student says to the other.... "You don't know what you are talking about. I can't believe you said that, that's not right."

The senator can create a more constructive and less-defensive phrase by simply using "I" instead of "YOU"...

"I felt really hurt when you said that you didn't believe in marriage equality. I would really like to marry my partner one day because I believe love is love..."

Let's Practice!

You don't care about this event as much as I do!

You're ignoring me!

You're letting your position get to your head!

You're rude!

In Your Communication, Help Others Shine!

Activity Room Whip: Introductions of a Colleague

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Proactive vs. Reactive

How you phrase things makes the biggest difference!

Great Leaders

Ask great questions>make statements

Vs.

Asking Open Ended Questions

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Who Can Change These For Me?

You can't come to the event unless you have a student body card.

Don't move the event canopy unless you have four people.

You can't take two plates of food at this event.

Closed Ended Question:

• Do you understand what you are supposed to do at the event?
• Have you finished your part of the event yet?

Open Ended Question:

• Tell me more about your understanding of the project.
• Can you explain more about the Palm Reader you spoke to who is coming to Welcome Week?

Question Game

VS.

Email Communication:

Please always

CC (Carbon Copy) me on Student Life emails to keep us all on the same page.

The Fish Bowl Affect

Transparency + Truth is Everything

The Board of Trustees for the District has given YOU the power to be the voice of the entire student body. You are an elected official.

What you do on campus is seen by everyone.

(It's like being a fish in a fishbowl.)

If there is an issue, don't disappear.

Go talk to the person right away in person before you go bring it to a colleague. Otherwise it becomes drama or gossip.

Be respectful, listen to each other.

Did that not work? Talk to me, that's my job.

- Didn't start your presentation yet?

Be honest.

- Need to have a difficult conversation?

Be truthful in how you feel and own up to things. Put everything on the table to have an honest dialogue.

Please remember this when posting on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc.

A good meter for if it is OK--if it was used as an advertisement for the college on a Redwood City Bus would it be appropriate?

Stay away from getting associated with those pictures: ask your friends not to take pictures, or instate a phone bowl at a party.

Implicit vs. Explicit

Implicit=we imply or assume that people know something

Make sure to be explicit or specific so that you and your team are on the same page about expectations.

Examples?

"I Don't Know"

In Discussion About Your Opinion:

Is oftentimes a placeholder for "I don't want to say" or "I don't want to think about it."

Helping at Event:

Becomes a dead end. Lead them to a person who knows the answer or can help!

Impact Versus Intent

•What you mean to say/do and how it actually affects someone

•Consider how your words/actions can be interpreted by that specific individual, or even the individuals around you who might not know the entire situation or your relationship with that person.

• Check in with someone to make sure they are on the same page as you.

AKA: My first semester at grad school presented to you for FREE!

(A $17,000 Value!)

What's the Golden Rule?

Golden Rule=

Treat others how YOU want to be treated.

Platinum Rule=

Treat others how THEY want to be treated.

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"Communication is key."

You've heard it a million times....

You need it to be successful as a leader on campus.

Leadership Language