
Audio Transcript Auto-generated
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Hello. Hello, Friends.
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My name is Vanessa Van Edwards, and today I'm gonna
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talk to you about charisma.
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I've always been fascinated by the topic of charisma, and
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little did I know it would become a lifelong career
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passion. I run science of people.
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We are a human behavior research lab.
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And my goal is to study the hidden forces that
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drive our behavior.
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So I realize that charisma was this very interesting little
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trait when we were doing a study and we found
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that many people had a hard time defining charisma.
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They could very quickly think of the most charismatic person
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in their life.
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They thought, Oh, my boss, my friend, my partner.
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But when we asked them what is charisma, this is
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when they had a really hard time to finding.
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And we realized that charisma, XYZ interesting trait that, you
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know, the moment you see it, that you have a
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really hard time to finding it.
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So we wanted to know what actually makes someone charismatic.
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Researchers from Harvard Business School found that there are two
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very important traits that we use to judge someone.
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We first meet them.
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There weren't and competence.
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Now it's interesting about these two traits is, there's often
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in balance them.
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There are people who are very high incompetence there, seen
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a smart and powerful and capable, but not always a
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good team player, not always collaborative.
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They're also folks that are very high and warmth seen
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as friendly and care is friendly and warm and trustworthy,
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but not always powerful.
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In dependable, this sweet spot seems to be the perfect
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balance of warmth and competence.
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Very highly cares about people rank off the charts in
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friendliness and trust, but they're also seen as very powerful.
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It's very capable in dependable.
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So what I want to focus on today is how
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you can hit that sweet spot in your presentations in
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your meetings of being both open and trustworthy, but also
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powerful and capable.
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The question is, how do we do that?
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How do we break that down?
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Well, there's two ways that we're constantly signaling our warmth,
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incompetence. The first is with our words are verbal power,
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and the second was with our nonverbal.
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So let's start off with our verbal power.
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I love this study that I'm gonna talk about.
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So this is a study that was done by Brian
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Wansink, and he brought participants into his lab and he
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blindfolded them and turned off the lights.
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Never a good thing if you're an experiment.
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And then he handed them a bowl of strawberry yogurt,
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and he asked them to rate this yogurt on its
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strawberry flavor.
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59% of participants said the yogurt had a nice strawberry
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flavor. The trick was, the yogurt was actually chocolate.
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This is mind blowing, right?
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Strawberry and chocolate tastes.
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Nothing like what happened was Brian Wincing told the participants.
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You're about to eat strawberry.
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The brain heard strawberry and then tasted strawberry.
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This is the first of one many studies that indicate
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a powerful psychological effect called prime ing.
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So prime ing is something that I don't think we
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think enough about in our presentations.
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And in our first impressions, Prime ing is using our
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words, colors and images to influence and shape someone's behavior
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expectations and actions, and I believe that we can use
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this for good.
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Let me zoom in for a second on a microscopic
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way that we miss prime ing all the time.
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I used to send emails like this all the time.
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Totally. Miss Primate, we're all set for the meeting next
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week or apparent overview and Sam proposal for you and
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we can read them.
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Let me know if you have any questions.
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No emotions at all.
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This is very, very sterile versus this has almost the
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same word count, but pay attention to some of the
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Prime Inc use.
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I'm looking forward to collaborating next week off a pair
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of gold worksheet and overview of desired outcomes for both
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of us, and we can work through everything together, happy
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to answer any questions.
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You notice that these say the same thing, but they
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feel totally different.
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What research has shown is that when you use a
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word like collaborate, people are then more likely to tap
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into their collaborative resource is and be more collaborative.
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So what I want to think about is not throwing
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away our words, and we are doing this constantly.
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Think about how many times a day you open your
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calendar or how many times you've sent calendar invites.
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I don't know about you, but I open my calendar
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at least 10 to 15 times a day, at least,
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and I always see words like this call meeting one
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on one.
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They mean nothing.
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What if we looked at our calendar?
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We thought, How come you prime with those words so
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that every single, sometimes someone open their calendar, they were
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actually primed for how they should act and respond in
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that meeting.
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Or in that call, collaborative sessions, strategy session, creative time,
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gold session, accountability, Our.
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Every time you send a calendar, invite your prime ing
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someone or setting them up for success.
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And every time you open your calendar, you're doing the
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same for yourself.
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So here's what I want us to think about.
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Think about how you want someone to feel before, during
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and after interacting with you.
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And the most interesting part about this is you can
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use the charisma scale to shape the kind of words
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you use.
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So let's say that you're really high in the competence
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side. You want to be seen as a little higher
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and warm.
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You could use more warm words in your chats, your
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agendas, your emails, your invites, your linked in profile.
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You can say friend, connect cheers.
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Open together, excited versus competence, productive brainstorm effective.
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Get ready power through efficiently knowledge.
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So if you want to be seen as higher and
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competence. You can use more competence.
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Words, if you want to be I've seen is higher
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and warmth.
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You can use more warm words.
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Let's talk about that verbal power.
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Sorry. Nonverbal power were doctor of the words.
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So before I talk about my nonverbal cue here, uh,
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I want to talk about where we look when we
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first see someone.
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So we first see someone.
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We tend to look at their hands first.
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We usually think about the eyes, mouth or face.
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But our hands are trust indicators.
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And that's because the brain gives a lot of weight
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to our hand gestures.
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So one thing to think about, especially on video, is
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the more channels you can give someone nonverbally, the easier
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it is for them.
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Toe listen to you and to remember what you say.
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So if I were to give this entire presentation without
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my hand gestures, I would be taken away a channel
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from you.
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Worse if I were to give my presentation with just
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my face, no even upper body movement.
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I would also take one more channel away.
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I want you to add channels and your hands are
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one of the most important ways to do this so
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above the desk, avoiding pockets if you're in person and
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also thinking about adding explanation.
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I stumbled across this interesting pattern when I was watching
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Ted talks.
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So my team and I, we analyzed thousands of hours
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of Ted talks looking for patterns, and we found that
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when you look at the most popular Ted talks next,
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the least popular Ted talks.
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This is just with you.
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Count. You see a distinct pattern.
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The most popular Ted speakers use an average of 465
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hand gestures in 18 minutes.
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The least popular Ted talkers use an average of 272
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gestures. Almost half What's happening here is that not only
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our hands important for trust and warmth, you can see
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my intention.
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You can see that I'm not hiding anything.
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They're also importance for cop, important for competent, really highly
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competent people.
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They know their stuff so well that they speak to
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you on two tracks with their words and their hands.
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Now, little did I know this hand just a research
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would actually get me a Ted talk of my own.
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You're welcome to go watch it to see a couple
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of the interesting things about hands and gestures.
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What's most important here is that when you're presenting the
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best one, be charismatic is hands first.
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Hey, good morning, everyone.
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And then explaining your gestures.
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If something is really, really small, no big deal, you
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want to show that it's actually small.
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If something is a really big deal, you want to
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show that it's a big deal.
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Lastly, here, I want you to think about Visible on
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explanatory. If you really want to be seen higher and
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warmth, the more visible your hands are, the better you
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really want to be seen is hiring competence.
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The more gestures you use, the better so in summaries
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the really quick little video.
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To be more competent, use more competent words, empowering openers
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and explanatory gestures to be a higher and warm to
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use more warm words, exciting agenda LS and visible hands.
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I want to thank you so much for watching little
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video today.
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I love setting charismatic people.
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You're also welcome to read all of my tips in
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my book Captivate, which has been translated into 16 languages
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or check my website.
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I wanna thank you so much, So much, so much.
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So much for watching today