Audio Transcript Auto-generated
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now in saving relationships from the covert 19 Corona virus
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pandemic, you need to be very thoughtful about how long
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intellectually, last and the kind of situation that's going on
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here. You need to think about it lasting for many
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years, many years, 2 to 3 years in the very
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optimal scenario, and it could potentially lasted a whole lifetime.
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More in the moderate scenario 5 to 7 years sitting
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to think about years, not weeks, like some political and
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business leaders are suggesting.
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And I talked about this in much more depth in
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the previous episode so you could check that out for
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more information.
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So what does it mean to think about years?
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Well, we're gonna spend years, years in social distancing that
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will be the new normal.
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You can't think of it of those short term emergency
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you need to adapt to this long term.
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You normal and adapt.
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Your relationship stood.
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You have to stay at least six feet away from
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others, ideally 10 feet away from others.
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Avoid all sorts of large gatherings.
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Restaurants, entertainment venues, All sorts of things will be closed.
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I mean occasionally, well may be opened for a short
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period, and then close again when there's going to be
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on outbreak.
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That follows as there have been many secondary outbreaks in
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places like Hong Kong, like Japan, that have first closed
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and then opened.
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And then there has been a secondary outbreaks.
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I need to be prepared for the long term closures
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and occasional openings and then closures.
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So what does that mean?
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What is this new normal mean for you, for your
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relationships? Well, I can guarantee to you that this will
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devastate your relationships, all sorts of relationships.
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Unless you are very thoughtful about taking proactive steps right
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now. Right now, to save him in orderto take those
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proactive steps you need to make a plan for all
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of the relationships that you care about in your life.
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In order to do that, you need to answer some
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hard questions about these relationships for making a thorough plan,
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so apply for how you'll manage relationships with your romantic
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partner. I mean, think about it with some of your
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romantic partners, where if you are living in a household
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with them, you've probably used to spending maybe one hour
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with maybe two hours with him.
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Well, now you're spending 24 7 with them, and you're
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getting in each other's faces and in each other spaces.
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This will not be comfortable for you, and you can
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tolerate it, you know, right now for a couple weeks,
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maybe a month or so on.
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But given that this will be not going on for
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just sweets, that this will be years, he need to
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change your basic patterns of interacting in this space that
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you find yourself in and the same applies if your
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romantic partner is outside of your household and if you're
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forced to do long distance, relationships are socially distance relationships.
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Right now.
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Most people are running on adrenaline, and they could manage
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a couple of weeks, maybe a month.
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But he will not be able to manage many years.
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They will not be able to manage years, many months.
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That will not be something that's doable.
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So you need to change and to have a plan
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for addressing the situation with the romantic partner.
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Same thing with friends.
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Think about how you'll manage your relationships with friends.
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Presumably your friends are not part of your household, so
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you'll need to figure out how to be socially distanced
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with your friends over this long period of time.
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That means that you need to really be thoughtful about
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how you'll manage your relationships with your friends.
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You're probably used to doing things face to face with
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your friends in person.
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Now you have to keep it least six feet, but
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much better to 10 feet apart from your friend.
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So you know, maybe you can play some tennis with
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them. But you know you can't really have a nice
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that conversation can to be close to each other.
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You can sit in a bar together, would go out
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to a restaurant together.
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Whatever used to doing so, it's best to figure out
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virtual sorts of interactions with your friends and with the
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romantic partners.
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Now think about Children.
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Many of you have had your adult Children move back
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to the house from their universities are before they were
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recently independent, but they chose to move back with their
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parents because they don't want to deal with the disease
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by themselves, and they're not financially stable.
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So right now, a lot of adult Children have moved
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back with their parents, and this is not comfortable for
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of for many parents for many Children right now, they're
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dealing with it because they're perceiving it as a short
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term thing a couple of weeks a month.
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But if it's going to be lasting, which it actually
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will be lasting for years, in the best case 2
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to 3 years and more likely 5 to 7 years
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then you've got to be prepared for that long term
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and make a plan for the long term.
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And of course, the same thing applies for younger Children,
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even more so because schools are closed.
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So a lot of young Children are staying at home.
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24 7 car along link all over.
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Their parents were really getting each other spaces in each
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other's faces.
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You need to create a plan for how you manage
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them and help them, whether they're doing online schooling or
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whatever. All sorts of needs that these Children have, you
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need to help them manage it and help yourself manage
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those Children for older adults.
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Now, in some cases you'll be in a household with
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older adults, and in that case, if you are being
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exposed or other members of her household, especially teenagers, score
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may not be listening to directions about social distancing are
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exposed to the possibility of covered 19 you to figure
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out how to protect those older adults.
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Those people who are over 60 and are especially vulnerable
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to the pandemic all over 50 become more and more
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vulnerable, and then over 60 becomes seriously going vulnerable.
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So I need to figure out how to protect them
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howto have that social distancing and manage them in such
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a way as to minimize the chance that they'll get
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the Covered 19 because they're very vulnerable to it.
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And, of course, the same thing applies if they are
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living far away from you with about this certainly far
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away, but not in the same household.
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Whether they're living in the same city or in the
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same state, in a different city or in different state,
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you'll very intuitively want to go visit them.
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You will want to connect with them, and it's okay
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for a couple of weeks and so on.
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But how will you interact for if you can't have
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a Thanksgiving dinner?
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If you can't have a new year celebration?
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Whatever events you're used to having with your loved ones
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with older adults, you won't be able to have that
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sitting to figure out virtual directions.
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You know, maybe Grandma can send you some turkey for
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things giving in the mail and kind of semi joking
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somewhere. Not you need to figure out ways of replacing
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those interactions that used to be very meaningful for you,
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and our still perceived is very meaningful, So you need
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to make them virtual not in person.
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Then coworkers think about how you interact with your co
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workers. Your used to interacting with them off course, face
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to face, person to person.
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You're cultivating trust with them through sharing about your life,
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learning about their lives living but how their kids are
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doing how they're doing.
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You know the recent sports ball events, whatever your care
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about your hobbies, and that's great that you did that
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face to face.
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But you're not really going to do that online intuitively,
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uncomfortably when you're meeting over Zoom or your Microsoft teams.
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Whatever software you're using to do virtual teams, so you
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need to figure out how to cultivate trust.
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How to cultivate those relationships with your co workers that
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really make effective team were possible, and trust is just
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the basis for a lot of things that you need
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to do effectively.
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Then you need to figure out how to problem solving,
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collaborating and problem solving.
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Now. Problem solving means growth problem.
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Noticing and addressing problems.
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Conflict Resolution It's harder, much harder to notice problems when
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your virtual when you're isolated.
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Because if you are in the same office, you could
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just chats pop into each other's office, meet over the
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water cooler and talk about potential issues, and then give
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them straighten out very quickly.
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Nipped problems in the butt.
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Well, there will be many less intuitive ways of doing
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so when you're working with virtual teams and you'll need
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to figure out ways of addressing that and the same
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thing for actual conflict resolution.
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It's much more difficult to resolve conflicts when you're not
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face to face, and you have to figure out how
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to do that effectively over virtual means, whether over text
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by email or, of course, by video conference by phone
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calls. So conflict resolution is another big area that you
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need to think about as you engaging with your co
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workers, and if you're in a leadership position, you need
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to also think about how you'll hold people accountable.
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So accountability was previously easy in the office, where he
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could just pop over, chapter them and say, Hey, what's
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going on?
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And so on now that was not possible now that
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you are doing virtual teams, so you to figure out
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how to hold people accountable and to figure out how
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to motivate them.
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People are motivated when they're coming to the office by
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everyone working together by seeing each other.
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So big, part of a feeling, part of a team,
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that social connection, the tribal connection.
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But right now they're part of a virtual team.
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It doesn't feel connecting, and they don't feel other people
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around them working.
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That's really this motivating you to figure out how to
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motivate them.
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So those are for people who are in leadership positions.
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So you need to make a plan for all of
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your relationships.
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For all of the relationships that you care about and
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the article linked in the notes, Lincoln, the video notes,
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has much more information about doing so about the details
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of making a plan.
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So I suggest we check out that article and in
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general make a plan and for many years off, dealing
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with the covered 19 pandemic, whether in your relationships or
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anything else,