Audio Transcript Auto-generated
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so maybe their mind won't shut down because, you know,
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little Johnny wouldn't play with them on the playground.
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Or, um, you know, if maybe they're going through a
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situation at home, be parents splitting up, you know, why
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doesn't Daddy love mommy wired surprise together?
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Um, worrying about the new cat.
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I mean, it could be a number of things, but
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their minds unable to shut down.
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It could be the monster in the closet.
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Or, um, you know, under the bed the typical traditional
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fears I was using their not being able to go
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to sleep and trying things like the routine, which, like
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I said before, if you don't, if you're having a
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trouble, make sure that you start there with bedtime routine,
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whether it's bath and book or songs Or, um, you
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know, we've got some great, um, the teachers have some
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great information on I love you rich rules, which absolutely
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loved Madore, um, that you could even do and incorporate,
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but going on.
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So they've got all these things going through their mind
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if you can get them to focus their and shift
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their attention down from their head to their belly.
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Um, and and and start to get them to notice
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the in and out of their breathing on their stomach.
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No going in taking the air and then expanding and
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pushing it out.
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Um, then you can get them to realize that as
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their tummy is gently rising and falling that there are
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no thoughts in their only breath.
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Um, and it could be a calming movement for them
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because it's that rocking back, getting fourth type of thing,
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so starting their breathing is the number one place to
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start with.
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Mindfully my valises also incredibly useful for you parents as
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well. Um, it kind of helps us.
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Since it's the deliberate and friendly attention to what is
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going on in the present moment.
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It helps us to get away from some of those
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thoughts as apparent that Will might be struggling with, like,
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you know, I'm not I'm not doing good enough here
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and failing miserably at this.
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Um, and then you've got work.
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Oh, crowd.
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I forgot to you this I left that on done.
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Or you know, other worrisome things that were going on
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at work or drama or unnecessary stress rounded.
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I pay that bill when my gonna have enough money
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for this building.
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We have food to make it through next week, those
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type of things and and really stop that relentless stream
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of consciousness.
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Um, and forgive yourself and give yourself permission from that
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as well for those thoughts to stop and you'd stop
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interacting with those thoughts and you stop listening to those
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thoughts. And so that is how mindfulness can also help
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you as a parent.
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And like I said, we'll do some basic meditation here
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in a moment.
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And I like the very more of the grounding.
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You know, very short meditation, because if someone tries to
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do long meditation where they want it guided and they
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want to read things to me and do all of
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that, that's too much.
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And I end up usually like more anxious than I
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was. But some people love it, so that's also something
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I can show you if you're interested in as well.
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It's really just acceptance of what is going on and
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a willingness to the openness of those thoughts, and it
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means living in the present moment, not unnecessarily.
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It's not.
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The same is thinking about the present moment, but it's
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living in the present moment without judging or ignoring anything
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or getting carried away by pressures of everyday life.
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That's why I said, you know, if you can only
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devote five minutes of practice 10 minutes of practice 15
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whatever you could devote 30 would be great every day.
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Then you'll become a guru.
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Um, and I don't get to it.
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Every day is like I should be.
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That's kind of one of my commitments to myself in
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the oncoming months that I'm going to work on some
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basic mindfulness skills.
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So when you're present, um, when your Children are waking
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up, I know if you're like me, that could be
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a really rough, stressful time.
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Um, try to get out the door and I'm just
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like I'm not.
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I've got so many things in my mind, but so
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being present them when they wake up your being present
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during grocery shopping.
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Um, being president with your Children's sweet smiles, Um, and
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with every major and minor conflict, um, your mind is
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not elsewhere elsewhere.
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It's here in that moment, enjoying or soaking in whatever
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that moment is and literally takes a lot of practice
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and deliberate thought.
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So that way you're able to save your energy.
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Um, because you're aware of what's happening and while it's
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happening. And this month this.
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It's present and friendly.
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Mindfulness, um changes your behaviour positively as well as your
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attitude toward yourself being a Children.
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And, um, I know that I myself have had moments
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where I had to stop in and I'm I've lost
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my temper.
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I'm getting angry with one of my Children and I
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reacted maybe how I didn't intend to react.
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And I'm sitting there and I'm like, beating myself up
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in my mind for it like, Oh, why did you
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go? And I always make sure to come back and
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apologize to my child, but really, just doing that, though
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stopping and being able to get out of that angry
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mode and letting and not letting my temper get away
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for me has been, um, helpful on influence my parenting
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in a better impact in a better way.
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Some mindfulness is the sun on your face or feeling
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those salty tears run down your, um, cheeks, a feeling
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of ripple of frustration in your body.
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It's experiencing both joy and misery as and when they
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occur without having to do something about it right then
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or having an immediate reaction or opinion.
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Just it's just directing your friendly attention.
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Um, to whatever that is your awareness to the here
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and now at every moments from the letter said it
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really does take some effort and some intentionality.
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You can't.
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You have be very intentional in it.
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Um, so for kids, what has been shown to help
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on improve is, uh, it helps improve, um, both parents
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and Children in a physical, mental, calm and in calmness
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in some demanding times.
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But Thomas alone, we know is not enough.
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Also room that awareness is definitely needed.
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So, um, going going back to again what all it
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can help with, uh could help with Children, You know,
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what kind of Children is it good for?
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I guess they're trying to say, you know, it's suitable
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for Children who were diagnosed with a d h d.
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It's ah alexia or autism spectrum disorder.
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Uh, it's also really good for Children who feel misunderstood.
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Um, those are gonna be some Your older Children that
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are may be experiencing bullying Or do you know your
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stuff that especially young young women, the tip, But even
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So now, men as well That pressure.
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And that's that, um, need to be perfect.
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Ah, and that body image that, um, we're so concerned
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with and consumed with sometimes.
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So it can be good for, you know, for for
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that, and help boost your self esteem or for Children
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who are extremely insecure, you know?
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So it's your maybe 11 12 13 year olds and
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so forth.
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Or, um, maybe they're they're trying to appease others.
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And so they are, you know, being subjected.
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And they are falling victim to being bullied.
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Or, um, they're allowing other people to get away with
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some selfish actions and things and not really standing up
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for themselves.
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Um, it basically teaches them that they don't have to
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please others.
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And, um, that acting tough is not always be, um,
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desired outcome some.
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And this gives them a different, um, therapeutic approach in
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which it teaches them, you know, um, something different.
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So they don't become trapped in, you know, negative behavioral
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patterns that don't serve them ce appearance.
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Obviously, there's no quick and easy magic wand that I
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can wave and make us all better mindful parents, however,
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um, I can give you, hopefully some of the ingredients
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to to be able to have mutual love and respect
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for your child's and other people in your life hum,
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which we're going to be.
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That friendliness, that friendliness, acceptance that I was talking about
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those thoughts from blueness of welcoming those, um, here and
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now and understanding, openness and acceptance.
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And ultimately, you know, carrying touch like a quick hug
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or cuddle is another one, Um, which will make you.
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I mean, I feel like a better person in general,
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but especially with your Children.
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So there is three fundamental qualities that you have to
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you aware of to learn the relaxing effect on the
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demanding task of parenting, which goes along with, um mindfulness,
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which is presence, understanding and acceptance.
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Um, for yourself, um, as well as your child.
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And that will give you a way to provide some
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open and unprejudiced perspective.
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And it enables you to see your child and yourself
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in the way you really are, and not in the
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way that you expect them or wish them to be
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more the way others expect you to be.
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This builds your confidence, you know, but it also really
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gives that foundation for your child to, um, that lifelong
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foundation for your child to be able to have a
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strong foundation for self confidence and, um, a safe place
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if we can come to when they need to return
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at any time, Um, again and again, no matter what
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happens and that they can really, um I feel like
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you're going to let them be open and and not
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judge them and help them.
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Problem Salvage will, in turn, make them healthier.
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Um, adults.
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So presence enables you to just simply be there in
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contact in that moment.
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Um, whatever.
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That maybe you, which may be, um, without a mi
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opinion may be holding that small little hand in yours.
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It could be, um, being present in that temper tantrum,
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um, being present in the daily school run to pick
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them up, President in all those moments of happiness and
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misfortune and ah, routine everything because the more you were
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present, the less that you miss understanding that enables you
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to relate to your child better and put yourself in
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their shoes from empathy.
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Just one of my very favorite characteristics and I think
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should is, is necessary.
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Um, especially when, um, things can taken, expected turn in
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your life and acceptance, which is the last one.
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And it's the ability to recognize your child's thoughts and
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feelings the way you recognize your own with without wanting
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to change them or manipulate them.
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And it's not the same is putting up with everything.
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It's a realization that as a parent, you don't have
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to have opinions, feelings, thoughts and things you know immediately
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for your child or yourself.
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And that is just a basic introduction of the acceptance
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is the profound realization that you and your Children are
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not out for each other's blood, even lifelong, unconditional love.