Who or what exactly is a TCK?
"A TCK is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents' culture. The third culture kid builds relationships to all the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the third culture kid’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of the same background, other TCKs."
From , Third Culture Kids by
David C. Polluck + Ruth E. Van Reken
TCK's fly before they walk and sort their friends by continent but struggle to answer the question, "Where are you from?"
IDENTITY
Identity is, "the sense of self, providing sameness and continuity in personality over time."
- dictionary.com
TCKAcademy has put together a film, The TCK Story. Here is a clip from the film.
"If we all, as TCKs, use our challenges and turn them into gifts so we can help others and give them a sense of belonging and create a safe, loving environment for them... this is how we can make a difference."
Culture
How important is your culture to you?
When adults move, they experience culture shock and need a period of adjustment. Their value system, sense of identity, and the establishment of core relationships with family and friends have already developed in the home culture. So they already have a basic sense of who they are and where they belong.
Children and adolescents who move back and forth from one culture to another are doing so before they have formed their own personal and cultural identity.
The goal is to achieve cultural balance.
This goal can be quite difficult for a TCK to achieve because rapid cultural change is their norm.
The process of learning cultural balance may be complicated by all of these cultural groups in a TCK's life:
TCK
Media
Peers
The benefits of the
TCK lifestyle are
ENORMOUS!
Develop a first hand knowledge about other cultures
Experiences allow for a deeper understanding and acceptance
Opportunities, experiences, new places, new people
Globally minded / open-minded
The development of cross-cultural friendships
Develop sensitivity and empathy
Benefits of attending an international school
Increased opportunities to learn foreign languages by being immersed in local life
Authentic learning experiences
What are some of the challenges of being a TCK?
Goodbyes
Leaving the comforts of their 'home'
Initial culture shock
Adapting and trying to fit in
Anger towards parents
It took just six words to rip my soul into millions of pieces. The words that came out of my mother’s mouth seemed barely audible to me. My heart was pumping fast and hard; it was like everything was in slow motion. Several seconds later when my brain finally processed these words, all I managed to say was, “What! Oh, haha, nice joke. I actually fell for that!” I couldn’t believe this was happening. This can’t be happening I thought! I have feelings. I have friends. My parents can’t just snatch them away from me like that. I thought my parents understood that, but they didn’t. I felt that my parents had betrayed me. I had lived here all my life. 11 years! My friends who I had known for years and years, everything I knew, gone, just like that. Six words left the life that I had always known in ashes and debris. Six words changed everything about my life. Six words: “We’re going to move to China”.
Anna
Challenges that go along with attending different schools
Staying connected
Family disharmony
Unresolved conflict there/here
The no roots/home base feeling
What does ACS Hillingdon
do to support TCK's?
School counsellors!!
Lunch bunch groups
Transitions program – entry and exit
Buddy system
School tours
Orientation program
Opportunities for parents to get involved
Leadership opportunities
Multicultural events
Character education/advisory program – identity, community + a safe place
Communication with parents, staff + students
Individual counseling
Small group sessions
Numerous extra-curricular activities
What can you as parents do to help support your children?
Have frequent open discussions!!!!
Involve your children with decision making when possible
Research your new home with your child
Be supportive of their needs
Allow for closure and goodbyes at their old school and set up play dates with friends at their new school
Have a ‘homebase’
Talk about your home culture and keep connected with family and friends
Validate and acknowledge the emotions and feelings your child is experiencing
Seek help from your school counsellor (yes, we are here for parents too!)
Set your child up with a penpal from their new school and help them keep in touch with friends from their old school
Provide opportunities for your children to express their grief/anger; journaling, seeing the school counsellor, scrap booking, etc.
Embrace new experiences and opportunities with them
What can TCK's do
to help themselves?
Research where you are going before you get there
Be involved in family conversations and decisions
Learn about your new home and start planning
Connect with the new school
Make new friends and keep the old
Talk about your feelings
Keep an open mind
Be patient
Keep a journal, scrapbook, quilt, blog, etc.
Know (expect) it’s ok to feel overwhelmed and unsure
Once they arrive in their new ‘home’ become involved in after school activities, clubs and community social events
Stay positive and make the most of it!
All of us can work together to build a RAFT!
Reconciliation
Affirmation
Farewells
Think Destination
Interesting Info
TCKs tend to have more in common with one another, regardless of nationality, than they do with non-TCKs from their own country.
TCKs link, bond, and look to their peers for norms and acceptance.
TCKs generally are much more successful in higher education and attaining high level jobs.
Documentary made by Laura Cowan, MS Counsellor at the Shanghai American School.
?
Thank You!
:)
Lauren Seaberg
Pre-K to Grade 5
School Counsellor lseaberg@acs-schools.com
Third Culture Kids
(TCK's)
(cc) image by nuonsolarteam on Flickr
Parents
Sponsoring Organization
Caregiver
Home
(Passport)
School
Host
Community
Let's see what TCK's have to say!
Questions...