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Transcript

Being Jamie's Brother

Journaling and Art

Not actually my sister!

*DISCLAIMER*

I AM NOT A TRAINED PSYCHOLOGIST OR A LICENSED THERAPIST! MY PRESENTATION SIMPLY COMES FROM MY LIFE EXPERIENCES AS A SIBLING OF A PERSON WHO WAS BORN WITH CLEFT LIP AND PALATE. BY NO MEANS IS THIS

A DEFINITIVE LIST NOR DOES IT INCAPSULATE THE FEELINGS OF ALL SIBLINGS IN A SIMILAR SITUATION!

- Writing in a journal proved helpful

- Finding outlets for frustration, anger, depression is helpful and improved overall outlook, optimism, and passion

- Sharing her work improved confidence and allowed her to express her thoughts and ideas

High School

Close in Age

Final Thoughts (cont.)

- Hard to see sibling doing things you disapprove of, but know that they are finding social acceptance and loyal friends

- SIBLING RIVALRY IS NOT ONLY GOOD, IT IS NECESSARY!

- No matter what, know that because of the hardships they have endured throughout their life, they will grow up to be the strongest people you will ever know!

- Difficult time for all siblings, trying to find identity

- Cliches were very different, but overlapped some

- Despite her issues with her appearance, she went to more dances and dated more than I did

- Being in marching band together gave us common ground and similar goals

- Different outlooks on life infuriated both of us, but kept sibling rivalry strong!

Bullies

Laughing at Yourself

Final Thoughts

- Difficult to console sibling after bully insults them

- Tae Kwon Do lessons helped with self-esteem, helped with confidence that she could kick me in the face...if she wanted to

- Parents encouraged me to defend my sister against bullies

-Often it was the same bully who always got the same reaction

- Kids with cleft lip get a lot of negative attention, get them involved in something to give them positive attention. Siblings need the same...but we know there is a lot going on!

- Siblings are going to fight, which is OK, but don't let cleft lip or surgeries be a weapon

- A family that can laugh at themselves...and each other...is stronger and better prepares kids for life's challenges

- Teach kids with cleft lip and their siblings to care for and defend each other, physically and mentally

- Our family always found it important to joke with each other and to be able to laugh at yourself, but takes time and practice

- If everyone is light-hearted about their looks, then joking with each other becomes a family activity. Took focus off of Jamie and allowed her to crack jokes about my buck teeth, big feet, and skinny physique (believe it or not....)

- Call out starers, whisperers, and pointers! Make them feel uncomfortable! Very empowering!

Since we were so close in age, I never thought of her as "being different"

*Ground rule - Not to use it as an insult!

Hospital Trips

- Explain procedures to siblings, it takes away fear from what is happening and how this is going to help

- Have other family members or friends who can take siblings for a walk. Outside, around the hospital, nearby park, etc.

- Activities bag or a backpack full of fun things will make waiting rooms easier to handle (snacks, handheld games, book, art supplies, etc.)

- I loved learning the layout of the hospital and showing others around. For instance, take your grandparents to the cafeteria or show your uncle where the vending machines are located

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