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Anecdotes
- What's worse than finding a maggot in an apple?
- Finding half a maggot!
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, Mommy?" "To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?"
A woman got a problem with her closet door - it was felling every time a bus was passing by. So she called a repair man. The repairman comes and sees that indeed, the door falls out every time when a bus passes by. "OK, I am gonna see what is going on, just close the door behind me" and he stepps into the closet. At that time the husband comes from work, opens the closet and finds the repairman. Husband: "What the hell are you doing here!" Repairman:"Well, you are not going to believe it, but I am waiting for a bus!"
A guy burned two ears... so they were asking him at the hospital how it happened.
He said, "I was ironing my clothing and the phone rang... so instead of the phone I picked up the iron and burned my ear..."
"But how the heck did you burn the other ear?" The doctor asked.
"How do you think I called you people?"
A snake asks another snake:
-How do you think we are poisonous?
-Yes, of course. What's up?
-I've just bitten my tongue.