Titanism!

Religious Experience

a) In Titanism, the God McGillicuddy is all authoritative, meaning He is all-knowing and all-seeing of his school, meaning the congregation. He is caring of all his Titans, yet enforces all His rules and policies with his reasoning manner. He is well respected and loved by all the Titans.

b) The founder was not a specific individual, but a group of people who call themselves the Halton Catholic District School Board. They felt the need to spread their religious method to the town of Oakville where their first church, Holy Trinity, was founded. They did this because they received a message from the Superintendant, or head of the religion, to deliver their word.

c) The head of the Halton Catholic District School Board, the Superintendent, discovered a man named Colin McGillicuddy who showed true passion for spreading the good news of the Holy Trinity, hence the name of the first school of Titanism. The religion Titanism was then centered on this not so ordinary man’s message for goodness. Not only ten years old, and this new religion has developed a great reputation throughout the nation.

d) The Halton Catholic District School Board takes main residence at 802 Drury Lane Burlington, Ontario and can still be found there today.

Sacred Story

a) The name of the scriptures where all the teachings are found is “The Textbooks.”

b) The table of contents, which is split into three sections and found in all of The Textbooks, is Equity, Dignity and Respect.

Sacred Symbols and Rituals

a) The symbol for Titanism is:

b) The central place of worship is the school called Holy Trinity, but there are a few smaller “feeder” schools that deliver the same message.

c) One sacred gesture is the raising of the right fist when the word “Titan” is spoken out loud. The sacred food used during celebration and meals is the Holy Caf Cookie. The most desired item of clothing is the well known rugby polo, which is long sleeved, sporting the Titanism symbol, and the colours of black, gold and white.

d) The coming of age ritual is aimed towards the 13-14 year old students who are known as “niners” that participate in, what is commonly known as, “ninering”. Ninering is when the senior students initiate and intimidate the niners with pranks.

e) At the beginning of each day, a prayer is spoken in unison among each Titan, which is heard on the P.A. system. Each prayer starts and ends with the saying, “In the name of the Principle, and the Teacher, and the Student, Titan.”

f) Each week, the atmosphere and mood of the Titans is determined by the ritual foods that are prepared and distributed by the server; Monday is fries and burgers, Tuesday is pizza, Wednesday is pitas, Thursday is Thai, and Friday is curly fries. The school only meets and celebrates 5 days a week.

g) The five main annual festivals of Titanism are:

-Grade 9 Orientations

-Football Championship

-Formal

-Titans Battle Cancer

-Prom

Community of Faith

a) The followers are called Titans, and the members of the school are called students.

b) The leaders are called principles, who do the main enforcing of the rules, but the teachers are those who spread the message of Titanism and read from the Textbooks.

c) The Titans gather in the Caf for feasting between 11:15 am and 1:20 pm, in the Atrium for socialization, in the classrooms for teachings, and in the gym for worship.

d) New leaders are handpicked by senior members of the Halton Catholic District School Board. These principles must show characteristics of love, kindness, and a true belief in the Dress Code.

Religious Teachings or Doctrine

a) The five main beliefs, or teachings, of Titanism are:

-Thou shall not wear gang colours, cropped tops and short shorts

-Thou shall not stop randomly in the hallway

-Thou shall button up

-Thou shall raise hands before speaking

-Thou shall not use McGillicuddy’s name in vain

b) If a teaching is disobeyed, then a principle takes a student back to their office for what is called “detention,” which is a time of reflection and prayer to McGillicuddy asking for forgiveness.

c) The afterlife is known as Post Secondary Education, where one is finished with their school life and goes through graduation, receiving salvation in completing 30 credits and 40 hours of community service.

d) Heaven is a place of partying and good beverage where one is independent and free of parental supervision. Hell is when one does not receive salvation and does not move on to the afterlife of Post Secondary Education, having to stay behind and wander the hallways of Holy Trinity for the rest of their life (or until they complete their 30 credits and 40 hours of community service).

Morality

a) The main virtues taught in The Textbooks are:

-Follow your dreams

-Be respectful

-Strive to be successful

-Passion

-Compassion

b) Goodness is rewarded with the knowledge that one will be prepared for Post Secondary Education with the skills taught by the teachers and the good grades that result. Evil punished with failing grades which will have to be upgraded in summer school. Exams will be harder when punishing the evil doers.

c) Goodness is taught by spreading the word of McGillicuddy and the displaying of Titan Spirit in everyday life. Lessons take place in the classrooms where the teachers teach the students the morals and ethics of Titanism.

Titanism

b) The founder was not a specific individual, but a group of people who call themselves the Halton Catholic District School Board. They felt the need to spread their religious method to the town of Oakville where their first church, Holy Trinity, was founded. They did this because they received a message from the Superintendant, or head of the religion, to deliver their word.

c) The head of the Halton Catholic District School Board, the Superintendent, discovered a man named Colin McGillicuddy who showed true passion for spreading the good news of the Holy Trinity, hence the name of the first school of Titanism. The religion Titanism was then centered on this not so ordinary man’s message for goodness. Not only ten years old, and this new religion has developed a great reputation throughout the nation.

d) The Halton Catholic District School Board takes main residence at 802 Drury Lane Burlington, Ontario and can still be found there today.

b) The founder was not a specific individual, but a group of people who call themselves the Halton Catholic District School Board. They felt the need to spread their religious method to the town of Oakville where their first church, Holy Trinity, was founded. They did this because they received a message from the Superintendant, or head of the religion, to deliver their word.