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Fidelity: Safeguarding your marriage
Transcript of Fidelity: Safeguarding your marriage
Laura Stewart + Ahna Roddy God's Design One man, one woman “A recent survey conducted by researchers from the University of Chicago found that those in monogamous marriages not only had sex more often but enjoyed it more than any other group in their study.”
Balswick “When a woman senses that her husband has made a covenant with God and that he’s trying to make Jesus the Lord of his life in every area, including his marriage, she feels more secure.”
Eggericks “We must be willing to learn our
spouse’s primary love language if
we are to be effective communicators of love”
Chapman “When we choose active expressions of
love in the primary love language of our
spouse, we create an emotional climate
where we can deal with our past conflicts
Chapman "Women: Why do
you want to make
your hubby happy?
1. A sexually fulfilling husband will do anything for you
2. A sexually fulfilled husband is a scriptural mandate
3. A sexually fulfilled husband will feel good about himself
4. A sexually fulfilled husband will take on his life work with
vigor and purpose that is unmatched
5. A sexually fulfilled husband appreciates the important things in life"
Leman “If you truly want to
make your family life
and your sexual life
more meaningful, you’re
going to have to give up
a few things.”
Leman “You may not naturally
think about sex as
often as your husband
would like you to, but—out
of love for your husband—you
can cultivate a greater interest in sex, and
I encourage you to do that.”
Leman “Most sexual problems in marriage have little to do with physical technique but everything to do with meeting emotional needs”
Verb: Make (a marriage or relationship) complete by having sexual intercourse.
Adjective: Showing a high degree of skill and flair; complete or perfect.
Dictionary.com “If we keep our lives clean and do not permit ourselves to toy with evil, the addictions which have ravaged humanity can never touch us.”
Dobson God designed marriage to be glorifying and holistic Books that we found helpful
1. Authentic Human Sexuality
2. Five Love Languages
3. Sheet Music
4. Love Dare
5. His Needs, Her Needs
6. Love and Respect
7. Love for a Lifetime
8. Power of a Praying Wife
9. Power of a Praying Husband
10. Fall in Love, Stay in Love
11. The Power of Purity: God's design for sex in a sex saturated world Questions?? Seven A's of Confession
Address everyone involved
Avoid if, but, and maybe
Acknowledge the hurt
Accept your behavior
Alter your behavior
Ask for forgiveness
Foundational Principles The PAUSE principle of negotiating:
Phil. 2:3-4; Matt. 7:12
Search for creative solutions
Evaluate options objectively and reasonably
Foundational Principles The four promises of forgiveness:
Matt. 6:12; 1 Cor. 13:5; Eph. 4:32
I will not dwell on this incident
I will not bring this incident up and use it against you
I will not talk to others about this incident
I will not allow this incident to stand between us or hinder out personal relationship
Foundational Principles "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth-for your love is more delightful than wine."
-Song of Solomon 1:2 Communicate Consumate Compromise "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 By: Jake and Judith Balswick By: Gary Chapman By: Kevin Leman "23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Eph. 5:23-28
Think about your spouses needs before your wants. By: Stephen and Alex Kendrick By: Willard Harley By: Emerson Eggerichs By: Dr. James Dobson By: Willard Harley By: Irv and Elsie Woolf By: Stormie Omartian By: Stormie Omartian “A marriage between a husband and wife is not about them, but about God, and how running after Him, and taking the focus off of ourselves, gives us the abundant marriage He wants for us.”
Scruggs “A biblical marriage is one in which each spouse submits themselves to Christ and seeks after God's purposes, not their own.”
Woolf God designed marriage to provide:
2. Spiritual intimacy
3. The ability to pursue God-together
1. Balswick, J. & Balswick, J. (2008). Authentic human sexuality: an integrated christian approach. Downers Grove, IL: Inter Varsity Press.
2. Chapman, G. D. (1995). The five love languages: how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate ([New ed.). Chicago: Northfield Pub.
3. Dobson, Dr. J. (1993). Love for a lifetime: building a marriage that will go the distance. Sisters, OR: Questar Publishing, Inc
4. Eggerichs, E. (2004). Love and Respect. Brentwood, TN: Integrity Publishers.
5. Harley, W. F. (2001). Fall in love, stay in love. Grand Rapids, Mich.: F.H. Revell.
6. Kendrick, S., Kendrick, A., & Kimbrough, L. (2008). The love dare. Nashville, Tenn.: B & H Publishing Group.
7. Leman, K. (2008). Sheet music: uncovering the secrets of sexual intimacy in marriage. Carol Stream, IL: Tyndale House Publishers.
8. Scruggs, C. (n.d.). Putting Jesus First - Focus on the Family . Focus on the Family: Helping Families Thrive. Retrieved March 23, 2011, from http: //www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/guarding-your-heart-in-marriage/putting-jesus-first.aspx9.Woolf, I. (2009). The power of purity: god’s design for sex in a sex-saturated world. Osseo, MN: Hopewell Publishing.
9. Heffernan, C. (n.d.). God’s Design for Marriage - Focus on the Family . Focus on the Family: Helping Families Thrive. Retrieved April 25, 2011, from http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/gods_design_for_marriage/marriage_gods_idea/gods_design_for_marriage.aspx
10. Infidelity statistics. Infiedlityfacts.com. Retrieved April 25,2011, from http://www.infidelityfacts.com/infidelity-statistics.html.
11. Foundational Principles - Peacemaker Ministries (n.d.). Home - Peacemaker Ministries . Retrieved April 25, 2011, from http://www.peacemaker.net/site/c.aqKFLTOBIpH/b.958145/k.7ECF/Foundational_Principles.htm
12. Personal interview. April 18, 2011. Gwen Plantage, mother/advocate of fidelity.