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Transcript of Toxic Relationships
— relationships that are not equally favorable or beneficial to both parties.
- they lack positivity within your life
- relationships that tend to go from 0-100 in a matter of minutes.
- really high, highs and really low, lows.
- toxic relationships can seclude you and leave you to cling to the very person who is harming you.
- toxic relationships can even be hazardous to ones health, not only emotionally but also physically. (Brown
1. Brown, Asa Don. “Toxic Relationships.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 26 Sept. 2017, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/towards-recovery/201709/toxic-relationships.
2. Weber, Jill P. “4 Ways to Overcome a Toxic Relationship.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 3 May 2017, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/having-sex-wanting-intimacy/201705/4-ways-overcome-toxic-relationship.
By: Alicia Pagan
"It does not always take two to tango. In some cases, unhealthy individuals target and prey upon others for their own personal needs and gratification. It is a slanted desire for a relationship. The individual who is preying is seeking to emotionally and psychologically dehydrate others, removing whatever is possible for their own greedy benefits. Such individuals have a manipulative style, and will frequently triangulate and maneuver their way into any relationship that they perceive as beneficial.
People who are toxic are rarely aware of their own toxicity. They are too self-absorbed and preoccupied with their own emotions, interests, needs, and goals to be aware of the needs, goals, interests, and emotions of others." (Brown, 3-3-18)
Am I the Unhealthy One?
Leave and Overcome
Getting out of a toxic relationship, is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It takes great strength and rebuilding a support system. Five steps to leaving a toxic relationship.
- admitting you are in a toxic relationship. (Webber, 3-8-18) While you're stuck in the relationship, it is difficult to realize you're in one, until you're out. This first step is the most important step. It is being honest with yourself even if you don't want to.
Toxic relationships tend to be all consuming and emotionally and physically draining. Not only have I been in two toxic relationships, but I have also witnessed, first hand, my mother and grandmother be in toxic relationships. When and if you finally have the strength to leave, it leaves you empty. I have found myself broken and having to rebuild myself as a person. I got so wrapped up in my lover, that I forgot to worry care about myself.
Stop believing this is the best you can do. Like I said in slide one, if you're in a toxic relationship, you're more than likely isolated. You haven't seen or spoken to friends or family in a while because the relationship takes up all your time and energy. Since you or your partner has isolated you, you tend to think that no one else will love you like they do because you feel all alone and only able to see yourself with your partner. It's NOT true. Don't believe the lies you or your partner tell you. Get your support system back.
- this is the step where I am stuck at, cutting off all communications with your ex partner. It is unrealistic to actually heal while holding on to a relationship that is toxic for you. You can't move forward while still looking backwards. (Webber, 3-10-18)
- it is important to rebuild yourself. When you're in a toxic relationship you tend to lose yourself in your partner and your identity becomes theirs. It is important to do some soul searching and finding out who YOU are. (Webber, 3-10-18)
How to Avoid Toxic Relationships
I have come to the realization that I am a fixer. I like to form relationships with broken people and try and fix them. Yes, I like to date people who are a mess so that I can help them reach their full potential, in hopes that they will love me. I feel like I have to do, to get. This stems from my daddy issues. I need to steer clear of emotionally unavailable people. The dangerous, exciting people are not ready for stability and healthy relationships. I need to learn to love myself before I can find a mate to love me the way I deserve to be loved. This process starts with something no one person and do other than me, and that is, self love.