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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Breakdown of the introduction of "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" by Sean Covey

Nico Mitchell

on 11 May 2011

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Transcript of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens Top 10 All-Time Stupid Quotes:

"There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home"
"Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military use
"[Man will never reach the moon] regardless of all future scientific advances
"[Television] won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night."
"We don;t like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
"For the majority of people, the use of tobacco has a beneficial effect."
"This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us"
"The earth is the center of the universe."
"Nothing of importance happened today." (King George III, July 4, 1776)
"Everything that can be invented has been invented" The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

•Habit 1: Be Proactive
Take responsibility for your life
•Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind
Define your mission and goals in life
•Habit 3: Put First things First
Prioritize, and do the most important things first
•Habit 4: Think Win-Win
Have an everyone-can-win attitude
•Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Listen to people sincerely
•Habit 6: Synergize
Work together to achieve more
•Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw
Renew yourself regularly The 7 Habits of Highly Defective Teens

•Habit 1: React
Pit the blame, take no responsibility for your life
•Habit 2: Begin with No End in Mind
Don’t plan ahead, avoid setting goals
•Habit 3: Put First Things Last
Make things that don’t matter first and things that do last
•Habit 4: Think Win-Lose
Life is a vicious competition: if you lose, drag competition down with you
•Habit 5: Seek First to Talk, Then Pretend to Listen
Talk first, ask questions later but do not listen to the answer
•Habit 6: Don’t Cooperate
Your idea is the best idea, there is no need for teamwork
•Habit 7: Wear Yourself Our
Be so busy that you do not have time to better yourself
•The habits build on one another
•Private Victory: self mastery
Habits 1, 2 and 3
•Public Victory:: relationship and teamwork
Habits 4, 5, and 6
•Renewal: refreshing
Habit 7 What Exactly Are Habits?

•Good Habits
Exercising Regurlarly
Planning Ahead
Showing Respect for others
•Bad Habits
Thinking negatively
Feeling inferior
Blaming others
•Ones That Really Don’t Matter
Taking showers at night
Eating yogurt with a fork
Reading a magazine from back to front “Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny”
-Samuel Smiles Get in the Habit Paradigms and Principles Stupid Quotes by Teens

• “No one in my family has ever gone to college. I’d ne crazy to think I could make it.”
• “Being smart is a ‘white’ thing.”
• “My teacher is out to get me.”
• “She’s so pretty-I bet she’s a jerk.”
• “You can’t ahead in life unless you know the right people.”
• “Me? Thin? Are you kidding? My whole family is full of fat people.”
• “It’s impossible to get a good job around here because nobusy want to hire a teen.” What’s a Paradigm?

•They are all perceptions about the way things are
•They are inaccurate and incomplete
•They create limitations
•It is like looking through a lens that blurs your vision
oGirl in the mountain story
Thought she saw clear
Got new lenses and she saw the mountains clearer Paradigms of Self

Story of Linda and Beauty Pageant
Did not win or even come close, but she gained confidence in herself
Beauty Pageants now run in the family
Story of King Louis’ son being held hostage
Kidnapped and was around things that would provide pleasure, satisfy his lust and were desirable
He did not submit. “I cannot do what you ask for I was born to be a king”
Prince Louis’s held the paradigm of himself so tight that nothing could shake him
If your paradigm of yourself is contorted, spend time with someone who believes in you and builds you up
Every successful person has had a person who believe in them Paradigms of Others

Story of Becky and Kim
Kim was really uptight and got offended easily
Becky and friends stopped inviting Kim to things
Becky found out that Kim’s parents were going through a messy divorce
All it took was a little bit of information to change Becky’s paradigm of Kim
Story of Monica and Moving
Never befriended new people when the came to her hometown
She moved and was the new kid
Never treated new kids the same again
Story of Woman in South African airport
Bought coffee and cookies and sat at a table to wait for her flight
Reading paper, heard a rustling and found a man eating her cookies
She did not want to make a scene so she reached over a grabbed a cookie
A minute or so passed and she heard rustling again
Kept going back and forth and got down to the last cookie.
Woman was upset, but still said nothing
Man broke the cookie in half, pushed it across the table to her, ate the other half, then left
When it was time to go and show her ticket to get onto the plane, there were her bag of cookies
She was eating his the whole time
Our paradigms are often incomplete, inaccurate and completely messed up Paradigms of Life

We also have paradigms about the world in general
You can usually tell what they are by asking yourself:
“What is the driving force of my life?”
“What do I spend my time thinking about?”
“Who or what is my obsession?”
Some of the more popular life-centers for teens:
Friends, Stuff, Boyfriend/Girlfriend, School, Parents, Sports/Hobbies, Heroes, Enemies, Self and Work
They will mess you up if you center your life on them Friend-Centered

There’s nothing better than belonging to a good group of friends
There’s nothing worse than being an outcast
Friends are important but should never become your center
There will become a time when friends are not the biggest thing in your life
Living far apart, new relationships, jobs and family take up time
Make lots of friends, but do not build your life around them Stuff-Centered

Possessions also come in the form of titles and accomplishments
Our confidence needs to come from within, not without; from the quality of our hearts, not the quantity of things we own
After all, he who dies with the most toys still dies Boyfriend/Girlfriend-Centered

Possible the easiest trap to fall into
Tasha makes a rude comment; Brad says, “My day is ruined”
Tasha flirts with Brad’s best friend; Brad says, “I have been betrayed. I hate my friend”
Tasha says, “I think we should date other people; Brad says, “My life is over. You do not love me anymore.”
The more you center your life on someone, the less attractive you are to them.
You are no longer “hard to get”
You can usually tell when a couple becomes centered on each other
They always break up and make up
Their emotional lives are so intertwined that they cannot fully let go of each other
Independence is more attractive than dependence School-Centered

Story of Lisa and over achieving
Ambitious about getting good grades
Working like a college student in the seventh grade to become brain surgeon
Woke up at six and went to bed at two a.m. in order to achieve
Parents tried to loosen her up
She now realizes that she could have accomplished what she wanted without trying so hard and could have had more fun
Be careful not to let dean’s list, GPA and AP classes take over our lives
You can do extremely well in school and still maintain a healthy balance in life Parent-Centered

•Story of Girl pleasing Parents
oWorked hard all semester and got six A’s and one B+
oParents were only focused on the B+ not being an A
oPlay basketball, but parents never came to see
oMade Honor Roll every semester but straight A’s were just expected
oEventually she realized that she could make her parents happy
oFell out with parents for a while, but they understood finally
oGirl understood that she had to please herself before anyone else Other Possible Centers

Sport/Hobby Centered
o Jock with his identity behind being a great athlete suffers career-ending injury
oLeft to rebuild his life from scratch
Hero Centered
oBuilding your life around a movie star, famous athlete or powerful politician
oWhen they die, make a bad decision or end up in jail, you are lost
Enemy Centered
oBuilding life around hating someone
oGangs often fall into this category
oDriven by a compulsive need to have more stuff
oFeeds us for the season, but does not fully satisfy
oThinking the world revolves around you
oOblivious to the world around you
There is a fine line between having a passion for something and basing your existence on it
That is the line not to cross Principal-Centered: The Real Thing

•Center that actually works!
•They apply to everyone equally
•If you life by them, you will excel
•If you break them, you will fail
•Ex) Love, Honesty, Service, Hard Work, Respect, Gratitude, Moderation, Loyalty
•Just like a compass, your heart will always point to true principles
•You may be able to get by for a while without them, but they will catch up with you eventually
•“If you don’t do your homework, you won’t make your free throws.” –Larry Bird Principal Never Fails

•It takes faith to live by principal
oSeeing people getting behind by lying, cheating, stealing, indulging
•Breaking principal always catches up
•“It is impossible for us to break the law. We can only break ourselves against the law” –Ten Commandments, Cecil B. DeMille
•Being principal centered is the key to success in all other centers
oIf you live by respect and love, you will make more friends and be a more stable boyfriend/girlfriend
•For every problem, search for a principal to solve it
oIf no one trust you, try the principal of honesty
•Story of Tom in French/German war
oBrother shot
oTom wants to go get him but officer says no
oAfter begging and pleading, officer lets him go back
oTom brings back his brother’s corpse
oOfficer says, “You risked your life for nothing.”
oTom says when he crept up to him, his brother said, ‘Tom, I knew you would come—I just felt you would come.’ Baby Steps

1.Next time you look in the mirror, say something positive about yourself
2.Show appreciation for someone’s point of view today.
3.Think of a limiting paradigm about yourself and do something to contradict it
4.Think of a loved one or close friend who is acting out of character lately. Think about what might be causing them to react that way
5.When you have nothing to do, what occupies your thoughts? Remember, whatever is most important to you will become your paradigm or life-center
6.The Golden Rule-treat others the way would like to be treated
7.Find a quiet place where you can be alone. Think about what matters to you most
8.Listen carefully to the lyrics of the music you most frequently listen to. Evaluate if they are in harmony with the principal that you believe in
9.When you do chores of homework tonight, try out the principal of hard work. Go the extra mile and so more than is expected
10.Next time you are in a tight situation, think of a principal to solve to. Now go through with it and do not look back!
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