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Transcript of Codependency
Behaviors in the Overseparated Individual Overattachment Overseparation Overly Attached Girlfriend Causes of Attachment Thoughts, Feelings and
Behaviors in the Overattached
Person "You're not good enough." Causes of Separation Coming from a dysfunctional family of either drug, physical, or sexual abuse, the individual learns to become a "survivor". The attached codependent constantly puts the needs
of others before their own. This extreme form of
caretaking gives their low self-esteem a boost because
they have a sense of control and of being needed. "I'm not good enough." Fear of being smothered "You should be grateful." Controls others "I am a rock." Is self-protective and acts
to guard feelings Feels trapped by and numb to others "They want so much." Is self-controlled and feels unsafe with
others "If only they would..." Fear of being abandoned "I'm so unappreciated." Feels out of control and
desperate Is self-sacrificing and acts
to please others Is compulsively dependent
and feels unsafe alone "I'm nobody without you." "I give so much." Two sides of
Relationship This causes denial, since they watched
their family not acknowledge issues.
They become detached, and they do
not trust or confide in others. This attempt at avoiding their personal problems often
leads them to form addictions of their own, whether
it be to drugs, work, alcohol, or sex. This behavior attracts them to other codependents,
usually the more "overattached" type. This allows them
to have someone who will enable their addiction and take care of them, regardless of their lack of attention. This "need to be needed" makes it almost
impossible for them to end a relationship, even if
it is harmful. They fear being alone more than
being unhappy. This often causes them to lose their sense of self in the midst of trying to control or change the other person.
By wrapping themselves up in the problems of another,
they in turn ignore and deny their own issues. It allows
them a form of vicarious escape. Mapping Codependent Behavior Both partners in a codependent relationship rely on the other to fulfill their need for control, security, and belonging that they did not experience while growing up. References Codependency. (n.d.). Living With Your Alcoholic Addict. Retrieved March 21, 2013, from http://www.my-alcoholic-addict.com/codependency.html Fields, R. (2013). Growing Up in an Alcoholic Family System. Drugs In Perspective: Causes, Assessment, Family, Prevention, Intervention, and Treatment (Eighth ed., pp. 196-201). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill. Mental Health America: Co-dependency. (n.d.). Mental Health America: Welcome. Retrieved March 21, 2013, from http://www.nmha.org/go/codependency Treatment Treatment for Codependency has to begin with
acceptance of their own behavior, to accept responsibility and see that their actions are falsely based. Once this happens, extensive counseling/therapy are considered very
helpful to understand triggers to their behavior and
how to manage their impulses to control others and function normally in stressful situations. Sometimes, medication is suggested as an aid for the
severe depression and/or anxiety that often comes
hand-in-hand with codependency and recovery.