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Emotional Intelligence

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Kathleen Streeter

on 18 September 2014

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Transcript of Emotional Intelligence

Look beneath the surface...
Emotional Intelligence
Kathleen Streeter
Fresno Pacific Biblical Seminary
Advanced Family Studies
March 19, 2014
Your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible and
direct your behavior positively.
Social Awareness
Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions
in other people and understand what
really going on
with them -
even when you do not feel the same way.
Your ability to accurately perceive your own
in the moment
and understand your
tendencies across situations.
Foundations of
Emotional Intelligence

Relationship Management
Willing to spend the time to find where your emotions are coming from and how they got there.
Clear understanding of your strengths, weaknesses, and motives
What and/or who pushes your buttons
More than resisting explosive or problematic behavior
Managing tendencies over time (delayed gratification)
Tolerance for uncertainty
Listening and observing are key skills
Focus is on other people, not what you are going to say next
Considering the perspective of others
Clear communication
Effective handling of conflict
Building bonds with people over time
Avoid extremes - passive or aggressive
The Tip of the Iceberg
- Our Behavior -
Activities to Increase
Self Awareness
1. Quit treating your feelings as good or bad

2. Ripples - Notice your emotional wake

3. Lean into your discomfort

4. Feel your emotions physically

5. Know who pushes your buttons
Activities to Increase
1. Breathe right

2. Create an emotion vs. reason list

3. Make your goals public

4. Smile & laugh more

5. Take control of self-talk
Activities to Increase
Social Awareness
1. Greet people by name

2. Watch body language

3. Don't take notes at meetings

4. Practice the art of listening
"All conversations are with myself, and sometimes they involve
other people."

Susan Scott, Fierce Conversations
"Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him,
you will be a mile away and have his shoes."

Steve Martin
Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009).
intelligence 2.0.
San Diego, CA: TalentSmart.
Lynn, A. B. (2009).
The EQ interview: Finding
employees with high emotional intelligence.
New York, NY: Amacom.
"Love is an act of endless forgiveness,
a tender look which becomes a habit."

- Peter Ustinov
Your ability to use your awareness of
your own emotions and those of others

to manage interactions successfully.
Activities to Increase Relationship Management
Take feedback well
Only get mad on purpose
Acknowledge the other person's feelings
Explain your decisions, don't just make them
Tackle a tough conversation
An activity and a speaking which eventuate in relationship
Fundamentally a relational term and refers to not only right relations to God but to fellow human beings...
Closely associated to justice
Radical Love
Our Part
Bradberry, T., & Greaves, J. (2009).
Emotional intelligence 2.0.
San Diego, CA: TalentSmart.
Holeman, V. T. (2012).
Theology for better counseling: Trinitarian
reflections for healing and formation.
Downers Grove, IL:
Goleman, D. (2005).
Emotional intelligence.
New York, NY: Bantam Dell.
Full transcript