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Copy of On Course Chapter 8

Developing Emotional Intelligence
by

Tayna Smith

on 2 December 2015

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Transcript of Copy of On Course Chapter 8

Chapter 8:
Developing
Emotional Intelligence

Understanding
Emotional
Intelligence
The 4 Components of Emotional Intelligence
The 4 Components of Emotional Intelligence
The 4 Components of Emotional Intelligence.
The 4 Components of Emotional Intelligence
1.
Emotional Self-Awareness
:
Knowing your feelings
in the moment. Self-awareness of one's own feelings
as they occur is the FOUNDATION of emotional
intelligence and is FUNDAMENTAL to effective
decision making.
2
. Emotional Self-Management:
Managing strong feelings.
Emotional self-management enables people to make wise choices despite the pull of powerful emotions. People who excel at this skill avoid making critical decisions during times of high drama.
4.
Relationship Management:

Handling Emotions in relationships with skill and harmony.
The art of relationships depends, in large part upon the skill of managing emotions in others.
Example:
Emotional self-awareness helps
you deal effectively with feelings overwhelmed instead of using television (or some other distraction) as a temporary escape.
Example #1:

Emotional self-management helps you resist dropping an important class simply because you got angry at the teacher.
Example #2:
It also helps you make a choice that offers delayed benefits like writing a term paper in place of a choice that promises instant gratification like going to a party.
3.
Social Awareness:

Empathizing accurately with other people's emotions. Empathy is the fundamental "people skill." Those with empathy and compassion are more attuned to the social signals that reveal what others need or want.
Example:

Social awareness helps you notice and offer comfort when someone is consumed by anxiety or sadness.
Example:
Relationship management helps a person resist saying something that might publicly embarrass someone else. People who excel at skills such as listening, resolving conflicts, cooperating, and articulating the pulse of a group do well at anything that relies on interacting smoothly with others.
Knowing Your Own Emotions
What Happens
When Stress Persists?
Ongoing stress is bad news for are health, damaging almost every bodily system.
Unhealthy Stress Reduction
When stressed , victims' greatest concern is escaping the discomfort as fast as possible.
Healthy Stress Reduction
Creators find a better way to reduce stress. They realize that managing emotions intelligently means making wise choices that release the grip of stress, not just mask it.
Self-Love is the core belief that
I AM LOVABLE
It's the unwavering trust that, no matter what, I will always love myself and others will love me as well.
Self-love is vital to success. It empowers us to make wise, self supporting choices instead of impulsive, self destructive ones. These wise choices create a rich full life of outer achievement and inner happiness.
Design a
Self-Care Plan
If we felt unloved as children, we may need to learn how to love ourselves as adults and do so without confusing self-love with egotism, arrogance, or self-righteousness.
Nurturing yourself can begin today with a conscious self-care plan . As you consider the following options for nurturing yourself, look for choices you could adopt to increase your self love. The 3 ways to nurture oneself is...
1. Nurturing Yourself Physically
People who love themselves make wise choices to nurture their bodies for a long and healthy time.
2. Nurture Yourself Mentally
How you talk to yourself, especially when you're off course will greatly influence your sense of self-love. Whenever your Inner Critic begins to condemn you, stop. Replace these negative judgements with positive, supportive comments.
3. Nurture yourself Emotionally
The times you need self-love the most are often the times you feel self-love the least . Deep self-love is the ongoing inner approval of who you are, regardless of your accomplishments. You are not your results. When you learn to love yourself even when you're off course and struggling , your belief in yourself will soar.
Creating worldly success is meaningless if I am unhappy. That means I must accept responsibility for creating the quality of not only my outcomes but also my inner experiences.
"I create my own happiness and peace of mind."
Successful
Students...
Struggling
Students...
Demonstrate emotional intelligence, using feelings as a compass for staying on course to their goals and dreams.
Effectively reduce stress, managing and soothing emotions of upset such as anger, fear, and sadness.
Create flow, feeling fully and positively engaged in college and the rest of their lives.
Allow themselves to be hijacked by emotions, making unwise choices that get them off course.
Take no responsibility for managing their emotions, instead acting irrationally on impulses of the moment.
Frequently experience boredom or anxiety in their lives
.
Life can present us with a rough road now and then. How we handle these experiences is critical to the outcomes and experiences of our lives.
Emotional Intelligence
= The capacity to be aware of, control, and express one's emotions, and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically.
1. Build a vocabulary of feelings/Learn the names of emotions you might experience
2. Be mindful of emotions as they are happening/Learn to identify and express emotions in the moment
3. Understand what is causing your emotions/Look behind the emotion
4. Recognize the difference between a feeling and resulting actions/Feeling an emotion is one thing, acting on the emotion is quite another
Reducing Stress
The American Medical Association defines stress as any interference that disturbs a person's mental or physical well-being.
What is Stress?
The 4 Most Pressing
Symptoms of Stress
1. Feeling Overwhelmed
2. Feeling Angry
3. Feeling Anxious
4. Feeling Sad
When Feeling Overwhelmed, Try...
Choosing New Behaviors
Separate from external stressors like a demanding job
List and prioritize everything you need to do
Choosing New Thoughts
Trust a positive outcome
Take a mental vacation
Being
Overwhelmed...
Probably the most common stressor
Feelings that life has gotten too complicated and have too many commitments
Symptoms for Creators
Tightness/Pain in Jaw, Shoulders, or Lower Back
Lack of Sleep
Screaming/Wanting to Scream
Anger and Resentment
Healthy Anger Declares a Threat or Injustice Against Us or Someone/Something We Care About
Symptoms of Creators:
They will pause and wisely choose what to do next
They will ask, "Will I benefit from releasing my anger or will it cost me dearly?"
When Feeling
Angry or Resentful, Try...
Choosing New Behaviors
Separate yourself from the situation
Exercise-Moving will reduce anger fueling hormones
Relax-Slowing down calms your body
Choosing New Thoughts
Reframe-Look at the problem from a different perspective
Distract Yourself-Shift attention to something pleasant
Forgive-This is to improve YOUR life...not THEIRS
Fear and Anxiety
Healthy fears deliver a message that we are in danger
Symptoms of Creators
They pause and wisely choose what to do next rather than fleeing
When Feeling
Fear and Anxiety, Try...
Choosing New Behaviors
Prepare Thoroughly-Confidence gained through extensive preparation diminishes anxiety
Relax-It helps reclaim mastery of your thoughts/emotions
Bring a Piece of Home to Tests-Like a picture
Choosing New Thoughts
Detach Yourself from the Situation-Nothing more you can do
Visualize Success-Create mental movie achieving your ideal outcomes
Face the Fear-Most often you will learn that your fear was just a
F
alse
E
xpectation
A
ppearing
R
eal
Sadness and
Depression
Healthy sadness overtakes us upon the lost of someone or something dear
Symptoms of Creators
Sadness and 'feeling down' are natural responses and essential in honoring and resolving our loss
Symptoms of Unhealthy Sadness
Lingering Depression
Dark, Helpless Feelings
SEEK HELP!!
When Feeling Sadness and Depression, Try...
Choosing New Behaviors
Do Something (Anything!) Toward Your Goals-Accomplishment combats the blues
Listen to Uplifting Music-Avoid songs about love lost and misery
Help Others in Need-Assisting people less fortunate is uplifting
Choosing New Thoughts
Dispute Pessimistic Beliefs-Think how life will improve over time
Focus on the Positive-Identify blessings and successes
Find the Opportunity in the Problem-Learn the lesson life has brought you and move on
Remember...
YOU
MANAGE YOUR EMOTIONS...
EMOTIONS SHOULD NOT MANAGE YOU.
YOU
ARE IN CONTROL!
Choose Your Attitude
Creating Flow
What is Flow?
Flow is characterized by a total absorption in what one is doing, by a loss of thoughts or concerns about oneself, and by a distorted sense of time.
Creating Flow...
Continued
The key to creating flow lies in the interaction of two factors: the
Challenge

a person perceives himself to be facing and the related
Skills
he perceives himself to possess.
Creating Flow Formula
Skill level HIGH and challenge level LOW = Boredom
Skill level LOW and challenge level HIGH = Anxiety
Skill level EQUAL TO/SLIGHTLY BELOW challenge level = Flow
Develop Self-Love
Remember...
The 3 Ways...
Wise Choices
in College:
Managing Money
Why are you going to college?
Do everything legal to increase the flow of money
into
your personal treasury and decrease the flow of money leaking
out
. The better you become at these two complementary skills, the more abundance you will create to enhance your life and the lives of the people you love.
Increase the Money
Flowing In
1. Create a positive affirmation about money
2. Create a financial plan
3. Find a Bank or Credit Union
4. Apply for Grants and Scholarships
5. Apply for low-cost loans
6. Work
7. Save and invest
Decrease the Money
Flowing Out
8. Lower transportation expenses
9. Shop for car loans and insurance
10. Use credit cards wisely
11. Choose credit cards wisely
12. Use debit cards wisely
13. Use ATM cards wisely
14. Pay off high-rate debt.
15. Dispute inaccurate charges
16. Avoid credit blunders
17. Use tax credits
18. Avoid the "Let's Go Out" trap
19. Track your expenditures
20. Examine each expense line in your financial plan for possible reductions
Any Questions???
Full transcript