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The Evolution of Love

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Rebecca Laxton

on 20 November 2014

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Transcript of The Evolution of Love

The Evolution of Love
Team Members:
Rebecca Laxton
Ashley Atkinson
Cassie Weaver
Carla Anderson
Veronica Viramontes
Kaycee Townsend
Melissa Berrum
Dana Bass
What is Love?
Urban Dictionary:
Love- "Nature's way of tricking people into reproducing."
Love- "a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person."
1 Corinthians 13:4-7New International Version (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
age 5-8
What is your definition of love?
62% of students surveyed included the word "love" within their definition.
"When you love someone."
"It is a heart, like when you love your mom."
"Love is when you love your family."
92% of children provided a definition that could be deemed egocentric.

Who are some people or things in your life that you love?
68% of children answers included family members. Parents, siblings and grandparents were most common.
32% of items listed were non-human. These answers consisted of mostly material items, or activities.
30% of children mentioned pets and animals
Do you love some things more
than other things, or do you love
everything the same?
66% of children claimed that they loved
everyone and everything, equally.
34% Claimed that you can feel different love for different things, yet over half of those responses were paired with material examples.
"Well, no you can love some things more than other things, because I know I love basketball a lot more than soccer."
"I love my mom more than candy!"
Do you believe in Love
at 1st sight?
55% yes
45% No
"No way, not everyone is looking for a boyfriend so when you just look at someone if you don't want a boyfriend then that just doesn't even work right!"
Why is it important to love?
57% "If you don't love people, they will not love you back."
22% Claimed "It is what you are supposed to do."
21% provided a 'selfless' answer about the need to care for others first.
"You just need to love people because they might need love because they might be special or very sad and need it."
Do you ever fear not being loved?
62% No
"Everybody loves me."
"My family loves me.
"Why would I be scared of that?!"
38% Yes
"I ask my grandma at night sometimes if she loves me just to make sure she says it."
"I am scared sometimes my friends don't love me."
Adult Perception of Love
What is Love?
60% Mentioned feelings for "a person" or "someone"
30% Defined love as a vague concept
10% targeted their definition towards feelings for "others" and "people"
40% of people defined love as a "feeling" or an "Emotion"
90% viewed love in a positive manner
10% included the idea that love is also negative within their definition.
Who are some people or things
in your life that you love?
100% of adult participants included a variation of family within their answer.
64% mentioned their significant other
43% Directly mentioned their parents
43% mentioned children
21% mentioned loving a religious figure
7% stated a love for a material
item or hobby
7% mentioned a love for Pets
Do you love some things more than other things, or is the love you feel all the same?
93% said love is not measured equally
"It is measured differently, friends, family, my wife, my children they are different kinds of love."
7% said yes, the love they felt was the same.
"I feel everything should be loved equally."
"When it comes to my family, it would be hurtful to say I felt for one person over the other."
Why is it important to Love?
50% of participants provided a self perspective answer.
"It makes me feel good to know I am cared for."
33% it is part of human nature or a part of human desire
17% took the outside perspective.
"Others need to know your true feelings."
"It is important that the people know that they are cared for."
Do you believe in Love
at 1st sight?
87% said No
13% Yes
Do you fear not being loved?
57% Yes
"I fear being rejected"
"I fear loving and not being loved equally in return."
43% No

Definition of Love
64% of Elders surveyed described love as a feeling or Emotion.
44% used the word unconditional
32% had the word family within the definition
12% targeted it toward "someone" or "a person"

People or things in your life that you love
100% mentioned family
64% specifically mentioned children
64% mentioned their spouse
44% mentioned a spiritual or religious figure
32% mentioned pets
Do you love some things more than others, or feel love is equal?
100% claimed there is different measurements of love for different people.
60% provided the example of love for a spouse vs. love for their children
28% gave the example of emotional love for a person vs. material items.
Why is it important to love?
64% "It's what we're put here to do"
"It's our purpose in life"

36% "drives you"
"makes you thrive"
"keeps you from giving up."

82% selfless answer
18% self driven perspective
Do you believe in Love at 1st Sight?

A geographical distance separating potential couples decreases, the probability of them marrying each other increases.
It increases the probability of exposure, familiarity and attraction.
Five theories of love
The physicist : love is chemistry
The Psychotherapist : love has many guises
The Philosopher : love is passionate commitment
The romantic novelist : love drives all great stories
The Nun : Love is free yet binds us
72% said "No"
28% said "Yes"
-all female
- "It is not what you expect, you can fall in love when you see a baby for the first time. That is a type of true love at first sight."
Do you fear not being loved?
80% "No"
-of the participants that answered no,
44% felt confident that their family loved them.
20% said they were at an age where other's feelings and thoughts towards them were not a concern.

20% "Yes"
-of the participants that answered yes,
the reasons provided were either a fear of love in the form of rejection, or a fear of loneliness from loved ones.
"To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn't come with guarantees- these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. But, I'm learning that recognizing and leaning into the discomfort of vulnerability teaches us how to live with joy, gratitude and grace." - Brene Brown
on material items
Rejection, Vulnerability and Loneliness
Rejection- Non-acceptance, negative attitudes, hostility or excessive criticism of the individual which may precipitate feelings of rejection.

Rejection often interferes with:

Meeting new people
Vulnerability- “I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow — that’s vulnerability.”
Brene Brown describes vulnerability as;
"Shame and Fear"- Is there something about me, that if other people know or see it that I then won't be worth of connection?
Gottman's book,
The Science of Trust
mentions loneliness as; the craving for a natural social and romantic connection.

"People vary widely in their need for social contact and intimate connection. It’s the quality of connection that is vital, not the quantity. It’s very possible to feel desperately lonely even when surrounded by people, or when in a committed relationship."-Gottman

Definition of love was more egocentric, was form of a verb and contained the word love within the definition.
Definition of love was an emotion or feeling targeted towards a "someone"
mentioned love
for activities/hobbies
loved family
love is measured equally
Love is not measured equally
“..betrayal implies rejection and relational devaluation, or the realization that one’s partner holds neither oneself nor the relationship in high regard.”
Fitness, J. (2001). Betrayal, rejection, revenge, and forgiveness: An Interpersonal Script Approach.

Why do we Love?
The groundbreaking study, “The Neuroimaging of Love,” reveals falling in love can elicit not only the same euphoric feeling as using cocaine, but also affects intellectual areas of the brain
"Unconditional love" believed to be found in different parts of the brain.
Adamo, D. (2010). Falling in love is 'more scientific than you think,' according to new study by SU
professor. Retrieved from http://www.syr.edu/news/articles/2010/ortigue-neuroimaging-of-love-10-10.html

Passionate love is sparked by the reward part of the brain, and also associative cognitive brain areas that have higher-order cognitive functions, such as body image.
Definition of love was a vague concept that drives "life" and provides purpose.
Did not fear being loved back
Specific love for parents
Specific love for children
Believed in love at first sight
Did not believe in love at first sight
Feared not being loved
mention love in a negative manner
highest percentage of spiritual/religious references
Selfless answers
The people and relationships change and evolve
You begin to care for others and their needs more than your own.
Those who had experienced multiple types of relationships felt that love was the purpose for life.
Fear of rejection increases in adulthood then decreases into late Adulthood and Maturity.
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