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LOVE, Sexuality & Morality

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christopher hayman

on 7 June 2012

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Transcript of LOVE, Sexuality & Morality

Love, Sexuality & Morality The Current Situation Heterosexuality = straight
Homosexuality = gay
Church says:
- Marriage is the only context for sex
- Sex finds true & complete meaning in a marriage between a man and woman
- Homosexual and non-marital heterosexual sex aren't accepted in the church Homosexuality & Catholic Life JpII: “love includes the human body,
and the body is made a sharer in spiritual love”.

YOUR body is not your POSSESSION,
YOUR BODY IS YOU Making babies is not the most significant thing of love for humans, but the expression of love as a “GIFT” OF ONESELF;
this is the “fundamental element of human existence in the
world”- it brings PERSONAL FULFILMENT.
Church says: “man can fully discover his true self only in a sincere giving of himself” (GS). "Marriage is the INTIMATE, EXCLUSIVE, INDISSOLUBLE communion of life and love entered by man and woman at the design of the Creator for the purposes of their own good and the procreation and education of children; this covenant between baptised persons has been raised by Christ the Lord to the dignity of a sacrament" (GS)
One of the Church's sacraments = Matrimony (very important)
- Symbolises the loving union Christ has for the Church: Christ gives his life
out of love for his church
-the Trinitarian love of Communion
- Jesus' union with the Church is unbreakable = the union between a husband & wife should be unbreakable
Out of a couple's marriage comes the "mission to transmit human life & to educate their children" (Catechism, #2367)

Sexuality in Marriage
Serves 4 goals:
1) Linked to having kids (Fruitful)
2) Complete sharing of life in love between 2 people (Total)
3) Has relation to community (faithful)
4) Marriage between 2 baptised people = sacrament

Violations of Marriage
Divorce = tears apart what God has joined together
Methods of artificial contraception = condoms, birth control, vasectomies, etc. How are Love and Sexuality connected??? Marriage JpII: “God is love and in Himself He lives a mystery of personal loving communion. Creating the human race in His own image and inscribed in the humanity of man and woman the vocation, capacity and responsibility of LOVE and COMMUNION" (FC)

God is a communion of the Trinity, and WE ARE CALLED to this communion with God and others.
There are two ways we can do this:
marriage and celibacy (virginity). Qualities of Chastity
Jesus = model of chastity
Self-mastery = practice of chastity that trains us to be TRULY FREE- not a slave of our desires
Ways to achieve chastity = fulfill baptismal promises & resist sexual temptation
Patience = requires discipline at all stages of life (esp. adolescence)
Grace = purifies our efforts & heightens the virtue within us Sexuality Outside of Marriage Recreational Sexual Intercourse:
"if it feels good, do it" but there must be mutual consent
Emotional-Relationship Sexual Intercourse:
2 people who love each other add sex to the ways they relate to each other
Almost-Committed Sexual Intercourse:
People are engaged & think it's okay to have sex LUST: THE OPPOSITE of Chastity
Lust is a perversion of human LOVE- it is linked to selfishness
Concupiscence = intense form of human desire or temptation- the inclination to sin (but is not sin in itself)
Masturbation = a disorder of our God's original plan for sexuality
- it is self-serving and contrary to what sex means;
- it is contrary to what brings us happiness: the fulfilment of oneself in another (LOVE)
Fornication = sexual activity between an unmarried man & an unmarried woman
Prostitution: violates their dignity by making themselves objects of pleasure Slaves to Our Weaknesses?
"A love which is not “fairest,” but reduced only to the
satisfaction of concupiscence or to a man’s and a
woman’s mutual “use” of each other, makes persons
slaves to their weaknesses."
— Pope John Paul II, in his 1994 Letter to Families THIS IS WHAT OUR SOCIETY THINKS OF 'LOVE' 'SEXUALITY' and 'THE BODY'
look at what we listen to and watch:
-->Recent films show ‘love’ as UNIMPORTANT, the body as insignificant and sexuality as being cheap.
eg. The Hangover Part 2, Stupid Crazy Love, Bad Teacher.

-Music: David Guetta’s best-selling album One Love (2010) includes the hit Sexy B***h, while his 2011
album includes tracks such as
Turn Me On and I Just Wanna F*ck.

What is the effect of this way of thinking?
Australian statistics show:
-LESS marriages
-MORE divorces
-Less births from marriage
-a pornography industry of $250 million
-About 70 000 abortions EACH YEAR.


Pope Benedict XVI says:
Today “sex”, has become a commodity; a mere “thing” to be bought and sold, or rather, man himself becomes a commodity...he now considers his body and his sexuality as the purely material part of himself, to be used and exploited at will." Catholic teaching about sexuality = GOOD NEWS JpII: Without love, a person’s life “is senseless, if love is not revealed to him, if he does not encounter love, if he does not experience love and make it his own, if he does not participate intimately in it”. WE ARE BUILT TO SHOW LOVE BUT this physical expressing of “self-giving” love – TRUE LOVE – is only possible within the sacrament of MARRIAGE because of its exclusive and loyal nature. Impact of Sin on
Love and Sexuality Sin impacts all aspects of human existence:
“original innocence” is lost and our bodies can no longer
automatically show God’s love.
Because we doubt God’s love, we are “blind” to his reality; We think we are the centre of the world, that we are God. The REDEMPTION of the Body ALTHOUGH our sinfulness RUINS our relationship with GOD AND EACH OTHER, GOD has not left us to rot in our sins; God has become man in order TO RESTORE through His death, resurrection and forgiveness THE ORIGINAL PLAN OF LOVE for humanity. CHRIST is the way True Love can be REOPENED, where each person can receive grace in the heart to regain what was lost by Original Sin. The Morality of Love and Sexuality TRUE LOVE involves many things which are all good, but they need to be ORDERED and BALANCED correctly. Some things that make up human love:
sexual urge, attraction, desire, reciprocity, emotion, friendship BUT ALSO
affirmation of the person, sacrifice, commitment and responsibility (these ones are more important). CHASTITY is a virtue which can be given to us by God which helps order these powerful and manipulative components of love.
Chastity helps to maintain love as being a “gift of self” and it restores the unity of the spiritual and physical elements of the person.

EXAMPLE: Marriage must firstly be open to procreativity, secondly ‘conjugal life’ for the spouses, and thirdly involve oriented desire. IF the parts of human love and sexuality are unbalanced or not prioritised, moral dilemmas happen. aspects of love:
-‘Attraction’: attraction to the other person must focus on inner beauty not only outer beauty; and must be directed to the value of the person, not only the qualities themselves.

-‘Desire’: a person is not “self-sufficient” and need of others but more we need to desire genuine goodness for one another.

“Reciprocity”: love is “shared” between two persons; love is not an “individual matter”. Two people can’t only want to satisfy each other’s physical desires because this doesn’t last- they must seek the good of the other.

-“Will”: is an essential and powerful part of love. Our will has the “power to create love” (from other parts of love such as Friendship and wanting goodness for each other)

- “Comradeship”: having common interests, makes you connect beyond emotions and feelings. JpII: emotions and feelings “cannot lastingly and exclusively determine the attitude of one human being to another”. JpII: the “intensity” of sexual love with the pleasure and joy gained from the experience shows that it is an important part of humanity.
BUT, it is not only physical: love is MORE concerned with being a “matter of the spirit”.

“To the extent to which it ceases to be an interior matter and a matter of the spirit it also ceases to be love.”
SO SEXUALITY AND LOVE ARE SPIRITUAL more than physical. Summing up on love ... JpII: love is not something “ready-made” or stagnant, but an evolving “task” that “depends upon the contribution of both persons and the depth of their commitment”.

THEREFORE: love is only TRUE when focussed on affirming the value of the person. It is necessary that the emotional and sensual reactions are “adjusted” in order to cater for this. JpII: “Safe Sex”
"So-called “safe sex,” which is touted by the “civilization of technology,” is actually, in the view of the overall requirements of the person, radically not safe, indeed it is extremely dangerous. It endangers both the person and the family.
And what is this danger? It is the loss of the truth about one’s own self and about the family, together with the risk of a loss of freedom and consequently of a loss of love itself."
— Pope John Paul II, in his 1994 Letter to Families So: because we have the inclination to sin, it is very difficult to be chaste or "pure".
We need to pray and ask for help.
IT IS A BATTLE and one we must face every day of our life.
Love is complicated!
we cannot ORDER the parts
of love on our own
- we need Christ In your books answer the following questions: 1) What is "love"?

2) List 4 ways you have seen love this year. 3) Are 'love' and 'sexuality' connected in any way? How? Question: 4) List 3 ways you have been selfish this month. Selfishness (Pride) has perverted God’s original plan and ruined communion between us.
We don’t see life as a “gift to be received but a POSSESSION to be grasped”; others exist to feed our own desires. So far... 1) We have been created by God in order to Love him and each other.
2) Love is the most important part of our existence.
3) We can express this love through our bodies (sexuality).
4) Sin causes our love and sexuality to be DISTORTED- making us use sexuality to only satisfy ourselves by destroying the dignity of others.
5) God has the power to help us not live-out our sexuality in a sinful way but in a pure way PART II:
Morality and LOVE PART I:
WHAT IS LOVE??? 5) How do you know you are "in love"?

6) List 5 things you think are important
for a human relationship ('in love').

7) What is "True Love"? Do you think it exists or is possible? QUESTIONS: SO far... The most important thing is the AFFIRMATION OF THE PERSON as a someone created in the image of God and therefore with dignity and importance A relationship built solely on sensuality or sentiment is NOT a relationship of love. It either involves using each other as objects of pleasure or an idealisation of what the other should be; there is no obvious value of the person.
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