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Transcript of MATE SELECTION
Why People Need a Partner?
Empty space within
Receive something they weren't giving themselves
To complete them
To be taken care of emotionally, financially and/or sexually
To help heal, learn, grow of past memories
History of Mate Selection
Greek Mythology- Humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. One of the Greek Gods Zeus, split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in searching for their other half. Once they find them they will then feel complete.
Evolutionary Psychology/Natural Selection
Complementary Needs Theory- Opposites Attract
Ideal Mate Theory
Social Exchange Theory
Time and Place Theory
Is an evolutionary process in which selection of a mate depends on attractiveness of its traits. It is one of two components of sexual selection. Darwin first introduced his ideas on sexual selection in 1871 but advances in genetic and molecular techniques have led to major progress in this field recently.
Theories of Mate Selection
By Kelly, Jackie and Daniela
Evolutionary Psychology/Natural Selection
This theory is based on the evolutionary psychology founded by Charles Darwin. It explains that what we find attractive is prehistorically determined. People prefer to marry more attractive people because the more attractive, the more likely they are to survive. It becomes competitive to attain the most attractive mate. Evolutionary psychologists explains that strategies that enabled individuals to compete for limited resources, to survive, to reproduce and to raise children were adaptive behaviors.
Natural selection explains that individuals with an evolutionary advantage passed on their genes and their culture to the next generations.
Women preferred to mate with men who had the resources to be good providers for themselves and their children because women were unable to both are for infants and gather enough food.
Men preferred to mate with women who could bear healthy babies, who could feed their children, and who the intelligence and temperature to raise them well.
Social Exchange Theory
All couples have give and take relationship, although the balance of this exchange is not always equal. Social Exchange theory explains how we feel about a relationship with another person as depending on our perceptions of:
• The balance between what we put into the relationship and what we get out of it.
• The kind of relationship we deserve.
• The chances of having a better relationship with someone else
In deciding what is fair, we develop a comparison level against which we compare the give/take ratio. This level will vary between relationships, with some being more giving and others where we get more from the relationship. They will also vary greatly in what is given and received. Thus, for example, exchanges at home may be very different, both in balance and content.
We also have a comparison level for the alternative relationships. With a high such comparison level, we might believe the world is full of lovely people just waiting to meet us. When this level is low, we may stay in a high-cost relationship simply because we believe we could not find any better elsewhere.
Suggests that a match between an older man and a younger woman ensures that the man has greater resources, and that the younger woman will need his resources to acquire an improved lifestyle
Age difference allows for men to maintain a dominant status in a patriarchal marriage and is important for those who hold traditional patriarchal values
Since women now have increased financial potential and extended fertility, they might prefer to marry younger partners, although there is little evidence of this happening
Social Homogamy explains how attraction occurs between different races/ethnicity.
Proximity is a major factor in selection. We become attracted to, fall in love, marry those who live and work nearby, same religious community, attend same cultural events or same online community.
"Birds of a feather, flock together"
This theory is based on sociologists who believe that individuals are attracted to the opposite sex from similar social background therefore "like attracts like"
Similarity is a common and significant cause of attraction.
People mainly like others who resemble themselves and end up flocking together and staying together. Its influenced by age, race, status, religion, political views and physical similarities.
This theory explains that couples are attracted to the opposite sex that are complementary to one another rather than opposites.
People are attracted to qualities,skills or resources in other that they do not possess.
For example: A woman my say she wants a tall, dark, handsome male with green eyes. He has to have a stable professional career, play sports, read books and like long walks on the beach.
Sniffing out Mr or Mrs Right
Pheromones- are colorless chemicals detected by an organ in the nose. It is believed that these chemicals, produced in glands in the armpits, carry sexually stimulating signals that can be picked up-but only unconsciously-by others.
Stage 1: Lust
This is the first stage of love and is driven by the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen – in both men and women.
Stage 2: Attraction
This is when you are truly love-struck and head over heels for the significant other. There are three main neurotransmitters that are involved in this stage; adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.
Stage 3: Attachment
Attachment is the bond that keeps couples together. There are two major hormones involved in this feeling of attachment; oxytocin and vasopressin.
Science of Love
Most people have a preconceived image of what their ideal partner should be like.
• This image is based on physical appearance, personality or other traits.
• It may also be based on characteristics of one’s own parents (a woman may look for a man who is like her father).
• This image may also develop over dating experiences, “I know what I don’t want!”
deal Mate Theory
1939 to 1996 an increase importance in physical and financial requirement and decrease found in women's chastity and domestic skills
to fill loneliness and comfort
someone to love them
to want children
to feel safe and secure
Why we Think
Complementary Needs Theory
Time and Place Theory
This theory explains how we will meet potential partners throughout life but only marry those who are there when the “time is right”.
location of living
This theory is great for people who don’t want or believe in rushing into marriage to be happy
Arranged marriages offers family support
Arranged marriages have low divorce rate because they would be from the same religious background and have the same views on divorce.You never have to worry about your parents disapproving.
The excitement of the unknown (& uncontrollable) e and marriage
You don't have to worry with making up your mind, finding the "right" one, or other such indecision and pain that comes with dating.
People are not allowed to make their own decisions
That love within the marriage is second priority, Family members convince the two individuals that love will eventually bloom within the marriage. Love takes a long time to develop
You can not date before and look for a partner
That there would be the interference of extended family members
In an arranged marriage, the bride and groom are selected by a third party rather than by each other.Arranged marriages are traditional in South Asian society and continue to account for an overwhelming majority of marriages in India.
In countries like India, Parents prefer their children to take the arranged marriage route for getting married. The reasons are many.
Young people are considered too naive and immature to take this decision.
Their choice is seen as a threat to social status of the family.
India has a strong caste system. marriages out of one’s caste/religion are highly discouraged.
Finding love before marriage is seen as immoral
Free Choice Marriage
Free Choice is a socially recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually intimate and sexual, are acknowledged.
More common today then arranged marriages.
It could take a while to find
It may not turn out to be what you are looking for
it may not be as financially supportive
its your own choice and you can find what your looking for
your believe in the principle of true love
you get to know the person you are marrying
What is your ideal mate?
A simple example of social exchange theory can be seen in the interaction of asking someone out on a date. If the person says yes, you have gained a reward and are likely to repeat the interaction by asking that person out again or asking someone else out. On the other hand, if you ask someone out on a date and they reply with “No way!” then you have received a punishment that will probably cause you to shy away from repeating this type of interaction in the future.
Rewards and costs are important concepts that form the basis of most social exchange
theories. Rewards are exchanged resources that bring pleasure and satisfaction, while costs
are exchanged resources that are perceived as a loss or punishment.
How would you feel if your parents picked your future mate?
Would you mate with someone because of their money or value?