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Copy of Academic Writing

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by

Tim Warre

on 24 November 2014

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Transcript of Copy of Academic Writing

I come from China. China is intresting country. It have a long history. Now it develops very fast.

Before 70 year the war finish. People’s live is so hard, Because they no money, no food, no light, no TV, no book. But, they are work hard on the land.

In last 50 years, the government start a new building programme, the people’s live improve day by day, China opend the door to the world, Now we have a lot of moden city. Just like Beijing, Shanghai. Now many people live in China, play in China, work in China.

The number of people in cities is very large which make China have to build. In the year of 2008, because the Olympic Games, the hole world’s eye on china.

In the future, I’m sure China will be beter than today.

China will always better than yesterday.
Arrange your own ideas in the same way for your country
Example Ideas from a South Korean Student
What are the key aspects of good academic writing?
What ideas would you include in this essay?
C
O
L
ontent
rganisation
anguage
One of the first steps you can take in academic writing is to brainstorm some ideas for your essay.
“Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past”
The United Kingdom
Nowadays
In the Past
Strong IT industry
Mainly agriculture
Not independent. Invaded by other countries. Weak economy.
Independent country with strong economy
South Korea gives aid to other countries
South Korea received aid from other countries
“Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past”
Nowadays
In the Past
“Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past”
What are the ideas that this Chinese student has included in their essay?
Nowadays
In the Past
No war
War - Life was hard
China was a closed country
China open to the world
More people live and work in cities
People worked hard on the land
Content
Language
Organisation
Good ideas, but not developed.

There are no details given to support the arguments.
I come from China. China is intresting country. It have a long history. Now it develops very fast.

Before 70 year the war finish. People’s live is so hard, Because they no money, no food, no light, no TV, no book. But, they are work hard on the land.

In last 50 years, the government start a new building programme, the people’s live improve day by day, China opend the door to the world, Now we have a lot of moden city. Just like Beijing, Shanghai. Now many people live in China, play in China, work in China.

The number of people in cities is very large which make China have to build. In the year of 2008, because the Olympic Games, the hole world’s eye on china.

In the future, I’m sure China will be beter than today.

China will always better than yesterday.
This is another version written by the same student after studying academic writing. (It still contains mistakes and is not perfect!)
Identify the MAIN idea in each paragraph.


People’s lives very bad after the Second World War. People were poor because the country was poor. There was no food, no electricity and it was hard to buy anything in shops.

Since those days, China has industrialised. It has created jobs and opportunities for people in cities such as Shanghai and Beijing and increased building work, exports and profits.

Other improvements happen in education and everyday behaviour. In school, students are now learning English and modern ideas which come from other countries whereas in the past they spend time learning how to speak the old Chinese language.

There are new customs too. For example, in the past, couples usually got married at home and wore red clothes but now they can marry in church and wear western clothes.

There are some negative changes, such as the number of cigarette smokers has increased and children do not work as hard as before because their live are easy.

P
L
P
S
aragraphs -
inking words -
unctuation -
equencing of ideas -
Very short. Not organised according to content.
Very few. Ideas are not well connected.
Uses too many full stops and simple sentences.
Ideas are not logically placed.
I
deas -
Some very long, confusing sentences too.
larity -
C
Understandable, but with effort.
egister -
R
Too personal. He uses "I" in the last paragraph.
What are the strengths and weaknesses of the Essay?
So what makes up the rest of the paragraphs?
Ideas that support the main idea. SUPPORTING IDEAS
Arrange your own ideas in the same way for your country
Nowadays
In the Past
“Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past”
Academic
Writing
Structure of an FCE / CAE Essay
1. Introduction
“Discuss the differences between the way of life in your country now and the way of life in the past. Describe the changes and explain which have had the biggest impact.”
2. Changes in area 1 e.g Technology
3. Area 2 - Politics/Society
4. Area 3 - Lifestyle
5. Conclusion
Useful language
Introduction:
Purpose: Introduce topic of essay, ask questions that will be answered in the conclusion.
During / Over the course of the last century Spain has experienced/undergone a number/many changes, in fields/areas such as.......,....... and ........ However, which of these developments has made the biggest impression on the country?
Phrases/expressions:
Synonyms of change: shift/development/transformation
a change for the better/worse
The first area/field to consider is.........
Widespread/far-reaching change

Use
present perfect
to describe difference between the past and the present. The number of people living in cities
has increased
dramatically.
The political system
has shifted
from a dictatorship to a democracy.
Try to use an inverted conditional: Had it not been for the invention of ........, our lives would be completely different.

Conclusion: Briefly restate essay contents and highlight the changes you think have had the biggest impact on society. ONLY EXPRESS YOUR OPINION IN THE CONCLUSION! The rest of the essay should be factual and impersonal.

To sum up/All things considered.......
I hold the view that/I am of the opinion that.......
Paragraph structure

There have undoubtedly been numerous changes in the field of technology.
(1)
An obvious example of this is ……
(2)
Moreover,
the way in which we …. has changed significantly
(3)
In the past …,
whereas

in the present…
(3)
Despite

this, many people still chose to …
(1) Topic sentence to introduce paragraph
(2) Give examples
(3) Supporting ideas
Use linkers of:
• addition:
(moreover, furthermore, in addition)
• contrast:
despite/in spite of/however/nevertheless/although/even though

comparison
:
while/whereas/similarly

Using Linkers
Full transcript