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PRQ #2: Revising for Style
Transcript of PRQ #2: Revising for Style
Read through your paper. HIGHLIGHT in RED any of the following words: I, ME, MY, WE, OUR, US, YOU, YOUR, YOURS. Now REWORD your sentences to avoid using these words. THEY SHOULD NOT APPEAR in your paper.
EXAMPLE: I think Jimmy John's is better than Subway.
CHANGED TO: Jimmy John's is better than Subway.
EXAMPLE: : Last week, when my friend ordered Jimmy John's the food was delivered in less than 10 minutes.
CHANGED TO: Chad Bartels, a teacher at CMS, reported delivery times in under 10 minutes.
Completing your Revisions After making changes to your paper, submit your revised paper on Moodle in the REVISED submission box. THEN remove all the highlighting and font changes so that your paper is formatted correctly for a PRQ. We will revise for Writing Basics tomorrow.
If you need something to do, work on revising your Memoir, watch the Being Verb presentation and play verb games, or check out To Kill a Mockingbird from the Media Center to be prepared for Wednesday.
FINAL PRQs are DUE THIS WEDNESDAY - January 9, 2013.
Complete each step to make
improvements in your paper. Revising your PRQ for Style Step #2: Action Verbs LEARNING TARGET: Active verbs are used to add strength to my arguments.
Action verbs add power to your words and make you seem more convincing. Begin by HIGHLIGHTING all BEING VERBS in BLUE (is, are, am, was, were, be, being, been). Then try to change at least HALF of them to ACTION VERBS.
Example: Jimmy John's is a better sandwich shop than Subway.
Changed to: Jimmy John's crushes its competition, Subway.
Need help with being verbs -- check out the "Being Verb" Power Point on Moodle. There are games! Step #3: Sentence Variation LEARNING TARGET: Variation in sentence structure, length, and beginnings add interest to the text and create fluidity.
To revise, begin by HIGHLIGHTING all your simple sentences in GREEN. Simple sentences have no commas and contain one idea. EXAMPLE: Jimmy Johns has great service.
Then HIGHLIGHT all your compound sentences in PURPLE. A compound sentence has two ideas connected by a comma and a conjunction. EXAMPLE: The tables are always clean, and the paper products are consistently stocked.
Then HIGHLIGHT all your sentences with introductions in ORANGE. These are sentences that have a phrase to introduce your thought. EXAMPLE: After reviewing the facts, it is clear that Jimmy John's is a superior sandwich shop.
You should have a variety of colors in each paragraph. If not, you need to make some changes. Also watch out for beginning sentences with the same phrase. Avoid using the same transitions over and over.