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The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens

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Emily Schmidt

on 20 August 2014

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Transcript of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens

Habits...they make you or break you
are things we do repeatedly. Most of the time we are hardly aware that we have them. They're on autopilot.

What are some good habits?
What are some bad habits?

Look at page 7 of the book... here 7 habits of Highly Defective Teens are listed. How many are you guilty of?
Paradigms and Principles...
is one's
about the way things are.
Look at page 11-12 at the Top 10 All-Time Stupid Questions! My how our paradigms have changed over the years!

Paradigms of Yourself:
What are some paradigms you have of yourself?

Are they helping you or hindering you?
Paradigms of Others
We have paradigms not only about ourselves, but also about other people...

....And they can be way out of whack too!

Seeing things from a different point of view can help us understand why other people act the way they do.
A Paradigm Shift
Too often we judge people without having all the facts. Once you have all the facts and/or new information your view or perception changes!

Paradigm Shift
is a change in the way you once viewed something or someone.
are the rules of life that you choose to live by.

They include characteristics like:

Honesty Responsibility
Respect Hard Work
Integrity Gratitude
Loyalty Fairness

(There are many more)

-Take a moment to respond in today's notes-

How would you like to be in ONE year?

What are your top 10 goals for life?

....Remember Principles from earlier? Which principles are you going to need to make sure you achieve those goals?

The Personal Bank Account
To Achieve your goals in life, you have to have a full Personal Bank Account!

How you feel about yourself is like a bank account, your Personal Bank Account. How you treat others is your Relationship Bank Account.

Look at the lists at the bottom of your paper... do you have more of a poor or healthy Personal Bank Account?

Daily, you make deposits and withdrawals from your Bank Accounts. Do you make more deposits or withdrawals?

Habit 1 - Be Proactive
Being proactive is the key to unlocking all other habits. Proactive people make choices based on values.

They think before they act.

They recognize that they
can't control everything
that happens to them, but they
can control what they do about it

See page 2 of handout.... what would be a Proactive Choice for the Reactive Behaviors?
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Teens
A guide to develop habits for SUCCESS!
What kinds of deposits can you make into your Bank Accounts to make sure they stay positive?
See pages 45 - 46

1. Keep promises to yourself
2. Do Random acts of service
3. Tap into your talents
4. Be gentle with yourself
5. Renew yourself
6. Be honest

Habit 2 - Begin With The End In Mind
On a Post-It note write...

I will not let_______________ decide how I'm going to feel.

Post it in your locker, on your mirror, or in your planner and refer to it often!

You may not realize it, but you do this all the time. You draw up a blueprint before building a house; read a recipe before you bake a cake. It's part of life.

Visualize....... close your eyes...... listen to me..... what do you see?

The paths you choose today, this year, will shape you forever!
The Great Discovery...

Refer to pages 86-89 of the book for assistance with this activity.

Once you have found what's at the end of the activity.... strive to make your life extraordinary....
Be thinking of a life
mission statement
(see page 90-91).

Habit 3 - Put first things first
Prioritize and do the most important thing first.

Look at the chart on page 107 which Time Quadrant do you mostly fall into?

What type of person are you mostly?
The Procrastinator:
Putting off doing something until the last minute.
The Prioritizer:
Saves the best for last!
The Yes-man:
Tries to please everyone and responding to their every desire.
The Slacker:
Loafs about and loves anything in excess: too much TV, too much sleep, too many video games, too much time on the internet.

How To Prioritize?
Plan for the big rocks of your week.

Your Big Rocks are the most important things you want to get done.

Take time each week to plan out your week. Maybe you should take 15 minutes on Sunday, before a new school week, to write in your planner all the things that you have to do: include work, games, practices, family time, etc..

Take out your planner book now..... Let's Practice!
Habit 4 - Think Win-Win
people do what they want at the expense of others' happiness.
people are easily persuaded and readily give-in or go along with others; they fail to assert their own feelings and opinions.
occurs when two win-lose people get together. Someone becomes obsessed with another person in a negative way.
people believe that everyone can win; there is more than enough to go around for everyone, when each person's feelings and opinions are understood and respected. It's possible to find a solution that benefits and considers everyone.
Think Win-Win!!
Habit 5 - Seek First to Understand,
Then to be Understood
You have 2 ears and one mouth.... to listen twice as much as you talk.
Five Poor Listening Skills To Avoid:
1. Spacing Out: when someone is talking, but you ignore them because your mind is wondering.
2. Pretend Listening: Still not listening, but at least we pretend to listen by making comments like, "yeah" or "cool".
3. Selective Listening: We pay attention to only part of the conversation that interests us.
4. Word Listening: We actually pay attention to what someone is saying, but only to words, not body language, feelings, or true meanings of the word.
5. Self-Centered Listening: Happens when we see everything from our own point of view. Instead of standing in anther's shoes, we want them to stand in ours.

Advice on how to improve your
Listening Skills!!
What is Genuine Listening?
First, listening with your eyes, heart, and ears
. Only 7% of listening comes from words, 40% from the tone of voice, and 53% of understanding what someone is saying comes from reading their body language.
Second, stand in their shoes
. You must try to see the world as they see it and try to feel as they feel.
Third, practice mirroring
. A mirror doesn't judge or give advice. A mirror reflects. Mirroring is simply this: Repeat back in your own words what the person is saying and feeling.
Active Listening = summarize in your own words what the person is saying.
Habit 6 - Synergize
Synergy is:
Celebrating differences
Finding new and better ways
Synergy is NOT
Tolerating differences
Working independently
Thinking you're always right
Celebrating Differences:
A Shunner's Profile
: Afraid of differences. It disturbs them that someone may have a different skin color, religion, or clothing. They believe they're way of life is the only "right" way.
A Tolerator's Profile
: Believe that everyone has the right to be different. Their motto: "You keep to yourself and I'll keep to myself."
A Celebrator's Profile
: Value differences; see differences as an advantage. Understand that it's ok to not agree on everything, only that you value the other person's ideas.
Celebrating Differences Chart
The chart in front of you is meant to be a fun look at some of your general characteristics and personality traits.

Read across each row:
Place a 4 in the blank that best describes you.
Place a 3 in the blank for the second word that best describes you.
Do the same for the final words using 2 and 1. Do this for each row.

, add up your totals for each column and place the total in the blanks at the bottom of the page.

, turn to page 188-189 in the book to see if you agree!
Roadblocks to Celebrating Differences
There are 3 major roadblocks to synergy:

means you're clueless. You don't know what other people believe, how they feel, or what they've been through.

become a problem only when your group of friends becomes so exclusive that they begin to reject everyone who isn't just like them.

is when you stereotype, label, or judge others based on their skin color, accent, where they live, what they wear, or don't wear.

is achieved when 2 or more people work together to create a better solution than either could alone.
Getting to Synergy
Follow this simple five-step plan to help you achieve synergy:

1. Define the problem or opportunity
2. Their way (see first to understand)
3. My way (see to be understood)
4. Brainstorm (create new options and ideas)
5. High way (find the best solution together)
Habit 7 - Sharpen the Saw
Sharpen the saw is about renewing yourself and balancing the key areas of your life: physical, mental, social emotional, and spiritual.
Now, take a moment and fill in the boxes on your paper with activities you can do to help you renew.
Plan it out!
Use some time to prepare a plan for yourself for the next 2 weeks.

As you create your plan, explore the book starting on page 206 for ideas and suggestions.

S.M.A.R.T Goals?
S.M.A.R.T Goals:

: Clear, not vague or confusing

: Can be evaluated for progress

: Include a plan

: Possible, achievable

: Include an appropriate target date
Mission Statement Project
A personal mission statement is like a personal motto that states what your life is about.

It is like a blueprint to your life.

See page 82 for ideas.... you will be writing one of your own!
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