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Winter Girls

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by

Christina Davidson

on 13 April 2011

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Transcript of Winter Girls

Winter Girls By: Laurie Halse "Because I can't let myself want them because I don't need a muffin (410), I want an orange(75) or toast (87), and waffles(180) make me gag. I point to the empty bowl on the counter, next to the huddle of pill bottles and the Bluberridazzlepops box. 'I'm having cereal.' Her eyes dart to the cabinet where she had taped up my meal plan. It came with the discharge papers when I moved in six months ago... ' That's too small to be a full serving,' she says carefully. I could eat the entire box I probably won't even fill the bowl. 'My stomach's upset.'"(5) "Yes I'd love to tell you that Cassie's voice is on the phone in my purse and she is haunting me because I let her die. If I do, you'll give me even more drugs. If I tell you what I ate today, you'll pull the alarm and send me back to jail. I lay all the hairs on the arm of the chair. 'I keep thinking hat if I could just unzip my skin, step out of this bodym then I would see who I really am.' She nods her head slowly. ' What do you think you'd look like?' ' Smaller, for a start.'(117) "I could say I'm excited but that would be a lie. The number doesn't matter. If I got down to 070.00, I'd want 065.00... The only number that would ever be enough is 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size zero, double-zero, zero point...(220) " I took the knife out of my pocket and cut my palm, just a little.' I swear to be the skinniest girl in school, skinnier than you.' Cassie's eyes got big as the blood pooled in my hand. She grabbed the knife and slashed her palm.' I bet I'll be skinnier than you.' 'No, don't make it a bet. Let's be skinniest together.' 'Okay, but I'll be skinnier.'" " The bathroom door swings open. Emma sees the blood painting my skin and the red rivers
carved on my body. Emma sees the wet knife, sliver and bone. The screams of the little sister shatter
the mirrors. The emergency room is filled with fog. Angry shadows fly up and down the walls and across
the ceiling. Cassie holds my hand and whispers the numbers.' Your heart was thirty-three beats per
minute in the ambulance. Wicked bradycardia. The EKG was weird, probably because of the
dehydration and blood loss. You're breathing okay, but you have the blood pressure and
temperature of dirt.' I close my eyes. When they open she has the lab results. 'Anemia,' she says. ' Plus low
blood sugar, low phosphates, low calcium, low T3--- don't know what that means --- high white blood cells,
low platelets. They sewed you up with black thread... Oh and you have ketones in your pee. Keep this up and we'll
do New Years together. Stay strong, sweetie. '"
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