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Twitterature: Macbeth

All writing Copyright: Alexander Aciman and Emmett Rensin 2009. From twitterature (2009), Penguin.

Mo Mo

on 30 June 2010

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Transcript of Twitterature: Macbeth

Twitterature Macbeth by William shakespeare @Bigmac battle went well! cut mothafuckas from the nave to the chops! neither bade farewell not shook hands. WORD UP! REPRESENT! Away to home now with my homeboy Banquo.
I shall be in Inverness in time for haggis. ZOUNDS! OLD HAGS SAY I SHALL BE KING AND SHITE.
THEN I TOTALLY BECAME THANE OF CAWDOR! Playing it cool, but i am suddenly filled with a deep ambition.
'Tis bad news. home now. lady macbeth hot over coming power/my nads. she wants to kill Duncan TONIGHT. Can't tell if she's serious or just into dirty-talk. She was serious. Women. LOL Things do move so fast! The official tweets of we,
the king of scotland. Yet I fear Banquo knows my
terrible secret. Royal banquet tonight! all commanded to come! I especially
look forward to seeing my dear friend Banquo. Hope you make it cos'!! Banquo seems to have died in the forest.
Oh well! Everyone is leaving the party!! What? WHAT?
Does no one else see BLEEDING GODDAMN BANQUO AT THE TABLE? I'm trying to sleep. Will someone please shut
this wino up? I'm the king goddamn it, can't I get
a reliable porter? seriously. Old Hags say Macbeth is killed by no man of woman born. Relieved. The terminator is not invented yet. My enemies and their families keep dying randomly!
This is beginning to get out of hand. Nah, my wife is definitely right about this. Maybe not. Wife is having midlife crisis.
or woman troubles.
bitch is nuts. @LadyMac: THERE'S NOTHING ON YOUR HANDS,
YOU'VE WASHED THEM 100 TIMES ALREADY!! people found out about the whole murder thing; they're all pissed.
i say everyone just chill out and stop blowing shit out of proportion. Armies moving against me, Queen's dead. Life is nothing but a lone poster,
tweeting his time upon the stage and then he tweets no more. HAH! Macduff thinks he can kill me! Shit. 'C-section' is not 'of woman born'? What kind of king dies on a goddamn technicality? From 'twitterature'
by Alexander aciman and emmett rensin
penguin books, 2009.
Full transcript