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Transcript of Senior Advice
Create space from people you WISH would change... the ones you ache about inside. People never change because of what others WANT them to be. Create space for yourself, for your own happiness, or you’ll just end up frustrated and hurt.
Be a good listener. Don’t think about what you want to say while someone is talking to you, just listen.
My little puzzle pieces… if you’re working hard to “fit” right with someone, or that someone doesn't help you be the best "you," that’s not the one you’re supposed to attach to. You’ll know it's right when it smoothly clicks into place, and when you
are when you're with them.
Don’t ever be impressed by how bad you can be,
how easy it was to steal, cheat, lie, or how intoxicated you became.
That's not hard, it's not unique, and it's not impressive.
What is? Being awesome. :)
Be forgiving; especially of people who don’t deserve it or haven’t asked for it. It’s a gift to yourself; it’s a way of taking back control of your feelings.
Remember, anger and resentment hurts
But, don’t give them another opportunity to hurt you.
Appreciate other people’s good qualities: intelligence, patience, generosity, forgiveness; recognize that these are presents without the cake and wrapping paper.
Take every interest you have for growth in unique ways (belly dancing, flying a plane, the harp, rodeo roping, whatever) and PURSUE it. In the end, it's the things we
do that we regret most.
Take every opportunity to tell and show people you are grateful for them, even if in a small way. Everyone you know, one day, will be gone.
Apologize, and ask for forgiveness JUST for hurting someone’s feelings. It doesn’t have to mean that you “lost” or were “wrong.” It’s the feelings we are left with that matter in the big picture. Being happy is more important than being correct.
Spend face-to-face time with loved ones. We will not remember the texts or posted messages, but the look inside the eyes of someone who loved us, and the feeling they gave us when they hugged us close.
Remember, sorry means “I will not do it again.” If someone says it twice about the same thing, walk away and take the 3rd opportunity with you.
Thank your parents if they got you to this point safely.
It was hard for them to be depended on for so long,
and even harder to face that you
need that anymore.
Be patient with them as they come to terms with this.
Pursue learning, you will not be on your death bed regretting that you gave yourself more opportunities.
Face your fears! You will always be fearful of something you haven’t yet confronted. Not just what people THINK are the big fears either, like heights or public speaking. The
big fears like admitting when you're hurt... or embarrassed... or falling in love.
On the other side of fear is freedom.
Relationships are not 50/50. They are 100/100. It’s not only about finding a good catch, but
a good catch.
Make little kids think your nose honks every time it’s pressed
Acknowledge the issues you have had in childhood; then work hard to overcome them.
Don’t let them define you.
Life is made of different chapters that almost feel like different lifetimes. Your Senior Memory Books are there to remind you of this chapter that is now ending. You may remember and feel for the child you were, but it doesn’t need to be who you are as you get older.
You are not only who you were, but
everything you ever will be.
Have a pet and give him/her a funny name like King Rufus the 3rd. They give unconditional love and lengthen your lifespan!
Bring a child into the world when you’re ready to be selfless everyday and your own desires in this world feel fulfilled. If you don’t know how someone could feel that their dreams are fulfilled, you’re not ready to have kids yet. A child is a 24/7 responsibility… for years, and years, and years.
Celebrate what you have
what others have. Jealousy is ugly. A real friend is not the person who will ride in the junky car with you or in the limo with you; it’s the person that watches you drive off alone in the limo and is still sincerely happy for you.
It’s not getting hurt that ruins us; it’s pushing away opportunities because we
hurt and are now scared. Having been hurt once, 300 times, or never… chin up, bounce back.
You always deserve another shot.
Be faithful. If you don’t think you can, don’t promise to be
or say that you are.
Seize the Day! Life is a collection of “nows.” Yesterday was a “now.” Tomorrow will be a “now.” What you’re not willing to do now, you will never experience.
We all have inside us a little flame, a little light… fan it, make it grow even when it seems that everywhere you turn someone/something is trying to put it out. Even if that someone has been you. One day is too long to spend believing we are not worthy of the time we have here. You are a carefully selected and crafted miracle.
Not all happily-ever-afters end with a big house, nice car, marriage, or kids, and that’s ok.
You make an imprint on everyone you meet. Thank you for sharing your stories with me and for graciously listening to mine. It was a pleasure to cross "chapters" with you here, and because of that, in me you will always have a warm hug, kind words, and a believer in you.
And, even if it’s been many years; I promise,
I will never forget you.
Be open-minded, but not so open-minded that your brain falls out. Weigh risks and benefits
Travel. Don't just wish you could, get a jar or start an account separate from the rest of your money and start depositing with travel, and travel only, in mind. You will feel AMAZING when you see what we are capable of as people, and find out you like things you never knew existed.
Plus, adventure is always fun ; )
“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "What's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said.”
Let the little things excite you; there are so many of them.
Learn how to deescalate (calm down) your anger. Take a look at the
big picture. Are you going to care about what just happened 3 years, 3 months, or 3 meals from now? Like we learned in
, anger is more "poison" than anything else. And, boy, does it spread.
Hold hands with your love.... a lot. In the car, on the street, at a concert. One day, possibly unexpectedly, that hand won't be there any more and you'll be glad you did.
Instead of using drugs or alcohol
to relax, have fun, or be brave...
You don't have to take any of this advice, but before you leave, I have a few more things I'd like to say ...
They say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Ultimately, you ARE responsible for your own happiness.
Life WILL give you lemons.
Surprise yourself at how resilient you can be. Make lemon meringue pie!
When you're bored with life, set some goals, small and large. How spicy your life is, is up to you! Maybe you can run in a marathon before next Christmas. Start training :)
Take advice only from people are successful in that area... in other words, don't do to your money what someone broke suggests.