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Mark Keller

on 29 May 2013

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Transcript of Resistance

Flawless Consulting
by Peter Block Would like to go ahead with your project but timing is just a little off.

Kept on the string.

Can be expressed as constant interruptions during meetings.

Client does not want to express how they feel about the project. Time Anger

Fight, Flee, Flow

Fist pounding, finger pointing, in your face Attack Does not mean consent

Hardest to deal with

Client is passive Silence "Well, it all started ten years ago..."

"I think it is important for you to understand"

You get bored

Not giving you all the facts Flooding you with detail Client keeps reminding you that this the "Real Word"

Client accuses you of being impractical and academic.

You are too idealistic. Impractical Shifts the discussion from deciding how to proceed and starts exploring theory after theory.

Spending a lot of energy "Spinning Theories"

Taking pain out of situation

Happens at a high tension moment Intellectualizing Us vs. Them

"Those people" and "should" and "they need to understand"

Meeting turns into trip on how things ought to be...

Very seductive, invite into the inner circle Moralizing Constant desire for clarity

Explain two or three times

Client may have a hard time saying no Confusion Power Loss / Protect Status Quo
Change may cause other problems
Vulnerable Real Concerns Emotional Issue
Hard to identify
Watch body language
You will not be able to talk the client out of the issue with data Fellow Geeks Don't fight resistance head on! Not a Contact Sport! Be Authentic!
Assertive! 1. Identify in your mind the form of resistance. 2. State in neutral, unpunishing way the form of resistance. 3. Be quiet & let the client respond. Real, Underlying, Concerns Indirect Expressions of Concern What is Resistance? Predictable, Natural, Emotional Identify Forms of Resistance How do we deal with Resistance? "You are giving me more detail than I need.
How would you describe it in a short statement?" "You are giving me very short answers.
Could you say more?" "You are very quiet. I don't know how to
read your silence." If all else fails...just say, "It seems this
isn't going well" or "We're stuck" Go Deeper We need tools to get past the resistance and on to the problem 3 Step Process
Full transcript