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7 habits of highly effective teens

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Victoria Baniqued

on 25 October 2014

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Transcript of 7 habits of highly effective teens

Habit #4:
Win-Lose The Totem Pole
Habit of greediness, always wanting to be the better one and the best at everything
People who have this type of attitude have
Totem Pole Syndrome
Mind-set of "I don't care how good I am as long as I am a notch higher than you"
People that have this habit are only thinking of them selves

Win-Win All you can eat Buffet
Both nice and tough for caring about others success as well as your own
Win-Win can go all around. It's not who gets the biggest piece of pie. There's more than enough food to go around for all
Lose-Lose
"If I'm going down then you're going down with me." After all, misery enjoys company.
Lose-Win
"Looks prettier on the surface, but it's just as dangerous as win-lose."
7 habits of highly effective teens
When having a Win-Win habit you
- Have a mind-set of "We" not "Me"
- Considerate to people who will be effected in the decision you make

Win-Lose Attitude
using other people, emotionally and physically for their own selfish purposes
trying to get ahead at the expenses of others
putting someone down to raise themselves up
"I want it this way, ONLY my way!"
jealous and envious when something good happens to another person and not to yourself
** This habit is common
Habit #5:
Win the
Private Victory
Avoid the Tumor Twins
Two habit that prevents Win-Win from being perfect
Competing
Competing is actually healthy for you
There's two sides of competing
The Light side- competing against yourself
The Dark side- competing against another
Competing shouldn't be about putting yourself on a pedestal, calling yourself a winner and another a loser
Grow up to be compelling
Comparing
Competing's Evil Twin
Comparing yourself to others is never a good thing
Everybody has different levels and styles of doing things

Comparing yourself to others will not benefit you in the long-run.
This is an addictive habit. The more you compare yourself to other the more likely you'll lose yourself in the process
The Fruit of the Win-Win Spirit
Genuine Listening
In Action
5 poor listening styles
Seek To Be Understood
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care,"
-Theodore Roosevelt
Spacing out
Pretend listening
Selective listening
Word listening
Self-centered listening (Judging, Advising, Probing)
A person with this "syndrome", will have the mentality of "have your way with me. Wipe your feet on me. Everyone else does."
Being a lose-win person is weak
Peer Pressure is an example of Lose-Win
Having this attitude is not healthy
An example of Lose-Lose is war
Revenge is another example of Lose-Lose, it occurs when two people have the same attitude of Win-Lose
It can also happen when you become obsessed with someone
Seeing your self with low expectations
I
n order for us to achieve habit #5, we must
-Listen first, talk second.
-See another person's point of views before expressing our own opinions.
B
efore solving a friend's problem, we must understand their feelings and situation first, instead of passing judgements immediately.
Win-Win habit is contagious. Finding a Win-Win solution is difficult when both party's do not have mutual thoughts. There are two solutions "Win-Win" or "No Deal." Which means do not play the game. When one party is not happy the game will not be as fun.
O
ne of the most common fears today is public speaking.
S
eeking to be understood is as important
as seeking to understand.
S
eeking first to understand requires extreme consideration, but seeking to be understood requires courage.
I
f we taken the time to listen, our chances of being listened is very good.

Think Win-Win
Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.

Insecurity blocks our direction towards
WIN-WIN because we feel threatened by the other people's success which makes it hard to be content.
Insecure people tend to get jealous easily
Thinking Win-Lose and Lose-Win will cloud your judgement and fill you with negative thoughts and thinking Win-Win, will fill your heart with happy thoughts.
"They're so Out Of it"

Ignores what others say
Tends to be in their own little world
SPACING OUT
Genuine listening is a higher form of listening that leads to real and proper communication but in order to achieve this we must:
listen with eyes, heart and ears
stand in the other person's shoes
practice mirroring
Listening with just your ears sometimes is not enough because communicating is done 53% through body language, 40% through tone and 7% through words.
Listen with your eyes, heart, and ears
STAND IN THEIR SHOES
PRACTICE MIRRORING
"Until you walk a mile in another man's shoes you can't imagine the smell" -Robert Byrne
Pretend listening
Win the battle of WIN-WIN by simply thinking bigger each day so that we can have the success along with other people and their achievements
To be a genuine listener you need to put yourself in the other persons position (shoes) and look at life from their perspective to truly understand and listen to
*MOST COMMON HABIT*
Knows that someone is talking to them, but isn't intrigued enough to pay attention
Usually replies with: "Yeah" "Okay" "That's cool" "Great"
Selective Listening
Word Listening
Only listens to some parts of the conversation and then decides to interrupt and give their input.
Self-Centered Listening
Judging
Advising
Probing
Mirroring is repeating back in your own words what the other person is saying and feeling
Only pays attention to what someone says, not to their body language, feelings or hidden meaning.
The difference between mirroring and mimicking is that when mimicking you are repeating exactly what the other person is saying like a parrot
Act like you understand how the other person feels when you actually only know how yourself feels.
While listening to others, you're silently judging them.
mirroring phrases:
"As I get it, you felt that ..."
"So, as i see it ..."
"I can see that you're feeling ..."
"So, what you're saying is ..."
We try to give advice from our own experience, although sometimes the other person just wants to be listened to
Trying to pry information from someone that doesn't want to open up
what they are saying. You must try to see
the world as they see it and try to feel
as they feel.
In action, is when you are in a conversation with someone and they can be talking about something they need help with, and they ask you to help them, you can respond with different answers.
Communicating with Parents
As a teenager it is not easy to communicate with parents because when as a teenager we think differently then parents. So we can get into arguments easily with them and it can lead into many bad things.
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