The Keys to HapPINess

Okay, welcome back, remember to smile.

This is the Keys to happiness, this is volume three.

The Keys to Happiness part one.

So we looked, we ended off here right with the

fact that you should seek satisfactory outcomes.

Just make sure that like we'll talk later in this

class about goal setting and smart goal setting is a

good way to to a good a good path to

follow. And in smart, although it's an acronym right?

And they all stand for something and um the A.

And the r.

There's there's some different scenes of opinions but like a

lot of people use the a.

As attainable goal, make sure your goals are attainable, make

sure there relevant, make sure that they're actually, you know,

things that you because you know, if I if I,

you know, let's say I'm in high school and I

say well I want to be an astronaut when I

grow up, right?

Like mhm I got bad news for you.

The the the odds that that happens are pretty small,

right? That's not really a reasonable outcome.

But if I say like, hey I'm going to be

top five in this class in that class and then

hopefully the outcomes, those those those maximum gains come later,

just you know, I just happen to happen and you

know, and we're actually gonna talk about that quite a

bit with our video quiz for this week, I don't

want to spoil that one.

Um so the next key to happiness develop and maintain

friendships with happy people, okay.

And I think a lot of you know this whether

or not you are able to take a step back

from your own situation and really recognize it is this

is a trickier part, right?

A lot of times we go, yeah, yeah, I'm happy

relationships, I hang out with happy people, but then we

get, you know, we make excuses for hanging out with

people who are happy and then they bring us down,

but so so it's important to every once a while

just do like kind of a self check and then

check your environment, be aware of of who you're interacting

with. But here are some some some take home notes

when it comes to developing and maintaining friendships with happy

people, first of all positive interactions with people facilitate being

happy. Okay, so when you have good interactions with people,

you are, you will bring about happiness, Gosh, we were

talking about health and stress earlier, there's like a lot

of articles out there that and studies that have proven

that like um you know, some men have a shorter

lifespan, expected lifespan than women, but what brings that average

like way way down is single men, right?

They don't have as many positive interactions and um you

know, I know some of you might argue, argue that

fact um but like what they find is that like

if you if you end up being like kind of

single and not having a lot of relationships that that

can actually do health damage to your health.

And so positive interactions bring about happiness.

Um so so putting yourself in that situation where you're

going to interact with people in a positive way, don't

say right, um getting connected secondly, getting connected to happy

people, improves your own happiness again, this is that whole

like take a step back, look at the 50,000 ft

view and say, am I surrounded myself with happy people,

right? Because typically if you're connected with happy people you

will be more happy.

It's just one of those things just rubs off on

you. You probably already know this part.

Right? Lastly each additional person in your network makes you

happier. This one can be, you know a little bit

argued, I think there's like this idea of like friends

and quality over quantity kind of thing.

But the idea is I think here is each quality

additional, each additional quality person in your network will make

you happier.

Okay and again, that kind of goes back to this

idea that like the shortest lifespan are men who are

single and don't have a lot of social relationships in

their later years in life.

Okay, yeah, developing a self a sense of self esteem.

We will talk about self esteem and self confidence in

a chapter coming up pretty soon in the lecture series

coming up pretty soon, just just to define self esteem,

like a textbook dictionary type.

Uh you know the definition would be that self esteem

is somebody's confidence in their own worth, their confidence in

your own abilities.

You can even just be boiled down into self respect.

Right? So are you confident in your worth?

Are you confident in your abilities?

And do you respect yourself if you can develop a

high sense of seem this will help you um to

love other people and to be loved in return?

Okay. Um and that's important, right?

And we'll talk about tips when we get to that

chapter about how to build your self esteem will talk

quite a bit about that actually.

Um And it's important here, like we're going to talk

about money and the money's relationship to happiness here in

a minute, but it's usually a good thing not to

give top priority to financial success.

What do you build financial success into your self esteem?

Like? Oh my own self worth is all based on

how much money I have, what kind of car drive,

how big my houses, that stuff can be taken away

pretty easily.

And really self esteem should be built around qualities that

you've instilled in yourself that don't change, right?

So because nobody can take those kind of qualities away

from you, they can take your car, you can take

your house, They can but they can't take away qualities

that you've um developed.

And so it's a lot easier to maintain a good

self esteem through rough times if you don't stop place

top priority on financial success.

Yeah. Um and then another one appreciate the joys of

day to day living and we are all guilty of

this, right?

And when we watch the video quiz for week one

and we'll also talk about this a little bit in

our week one discussion, it's like how do you do

it? Right.

So it's important to remember that like exciting events can

become fairly routine after a while.

In fact I took my my kids to school for

the first day of school today, right?

And that's something that's really exciting and that was not

a routine thing, right?

But taking them to school as exciting as it seems

on day one becomes a routine and it becomes something

that you just don't really think about it anymore after

a while.

Okay, so how do we search for the positive and

exciting things that are happening in our life and not

just thinking of them as routine.

One of the tips that we're gonna see when we

get to video quiz one is the idea of positive

journaling or writing down three gratitude three things.

You're grateful for the last 24 hours.

What that does is it helps us kind of like

scan our environment for positive things that are happening Our

news, you know, every, it doesn't matter what if you

watch any news right?

Like 80-90% of the stories are going to be negative.

Is that really representative of what's happening in the world?

Probably not right?

But we tend to go out into the world and

then start to think that 80-90% of the things that

are happening or negative.

So it takes a little bit of work on our

part, to be more aware to be more um cognizant

of the exciting events that are happening on a day

to day basis and celebrate those and make sure that

you appreciate those joys and savor what you have right

now, right?

And what I put down here in my own notes,

was living in the present moment.

I do this through meditation is just like a tool.

It's like a training tool for me to try to

bring myself back to the president, not thinking about what

happened earlier today or yesterday or a year from a

year ago.

Not trying to think too much about what's going to

happen in the future, but just living in the present

moment helps you save for what you have right now

and that will help you appreciate the joys of day

to day living.

I mean, how many times do you think?

Excuse me?

There's something that's appreciable right there in front of you.

You could have appreciated the moment would have been a

huge win for your, for your day, but you're too

busy thinking about what you were gonna do later.

Okay, it happens all of us.

Okay, be fair, be kind and be helpful and then

trust other people.

So I'm trying to my camera refocus.

Um so it can start with the golden rule okay,

and if you don't know what the golden rule is,

it's treating people other people like you would want to

be treated yourself right?

And many, many studies have shown that this is a

true contributor to Happiness Boy, and I love talking about

this topic when I get into my management class and

I'll talk a little bit more about this topic in

this class when we get to our leadership section.

But yeah, like oh my gosh, when you deal with

somebody else where you can tell like they're treating you

like they would want to be treated oh my gosh,

that's it's huge right?

But from a yeah, almost a selfish standpoint treating other

people the way you would want to be treated will

actually bring you happiness.

Same thing here, helping other people, brings us happiness and

it's okay that that like there might be some selfish

aspect there right?

There's actually quite a few case studies where it's like

okay um gave um you know somebody was asking for

money, I gave them money and I feel bad now

because I felt so good giving it to them right,

I shouldn't be celebrating, that shouldn't be, you know, um

feeling like I'm so awesome because I did that right?

Like I feel guilty now um and I don't I

don't believe in that.

I think that if it brings you personal happiness, that

is fantastic.

In fact going back to this video quiz one again,

we're going to talk about random acts of kindness and

uh oh man, that's a great one to where like,

you kind of do a random act of kindness, maybe

you just send a coworker a random text message or

an email going up just like going out of your

way to really thanking them or saying something super positive

to them to make them feel better.

It's like you get this rush of like, oh yeah,

I feel so good.

Now I did that.

That's okay, right?

You shouldn't feel guilty that that brought you some form

of pleasure.

Okay, the keys to happiness part two.

Well look at the fun factor keeping your life fun

coping, so coping with things like grief and stress being,

having energy, physical energy and, and, and kind of like

what that brings sticking to your values.

And we're going to talk about the one I know

you guys are interested in is does money lead to

happiness? And then it kind of wrap it all up

with living a meaningful life.

So having fun in your life, Okay, we find that

a happy life has fun in it.

Okay, as these other words to these other buzzwords?

S joy delight.

Okay, so, so it's about building activities in your life

that, you know, have those things, but I really like

this part too is that I added in there was

novelty contributes to happiness.

So don't over plan things.

I mentioned that a little bit earlier.

You might want to plan to like, hey, I'm gonna

go to the beach with my friends on friday because

I know that makes me happy.

So I'm going to do that and you plan for

that. But where you can kind of kill it is

by over planning it right?

And be like, okay, we're going to do this from

6 to 7, we do this from 7 to 8,

we're gonna eat at eight and then we're going to

do this instead.

What you find is that like the fun kind of

just happens a little bit more of a right and

unstructured um, format.

So, um, I think that's a good point spot to

mention too that like one of the keys to having

fun then versus knowing what it is that brings you

that, that you have fun doing right?

And that's just like that happiness question is, can you

back up and can you say what truly do I

find fun and then hanging out with fun people for

sure. But then it's this idea of like, can you

let go a little bit, can you just let let

go of control for a little bit to let yourself

have some fun and that's harder for a lot of

people than they think, hi, Um, got about a minute

left and then I'm gonna have to go to volume

four. So just a heads up there.

Um, mm But one of the other main keys to

happiness is learning to cope with things like grief, disappointment,

coping with setbacks and stress, right?

Nothing happens like in a linear process.

It's not like, okay, I did this now.

This is what happens next.

And when that happens, it all goes according to plan.

Like that'd be great.

Right? But that's just not what happens.

So we need to learn to face problems without being

overwhelmed by just like breaking down or by just running

away. Right?

We've got to practice facing problems, right?

I like to call it leaning into problems like this,

right? It's so easy to cut and run.

But when you maybe instead, when you see problems, uh,

can you can just lean into it and like, and,

and just get uncomfortable for a little bit because when

you do that once or twice, you'll be amazed with

how much better you could add it in the future.

Okay, so that's a good spot to stop real quick.

I will come back with volume for and we'll finish

out this lecture series

The Keys to HapPINess - vol. 3

Chapters

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