Holden Caulfield’s Guide to Growing Up

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by Liam Mundy1 view·Updated Nov 16, 2020
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  1. the first thing.
  2. I'm gonna talk about something.
  3. I have a good understanding of girls.
  4. Yeah, Yeah, I know it sounds crummy, but it's a
  5. point for growing up.
  6. They have a girlfriend, and this one is easy for
  7. me because it's kind of easy to figure them out.
  8. But one thing I'm not going to get into when
  9. I'm on this topic, it's sex.
  10. I don't really understand it too hot, so I'll just
  11. not talk about it.
  12. One thing you gotta watch out for is messing with
  13. girls. You know, our pain in your ass.
  14. But this one is kind of hard.
  15. There's just one time I spent the entire night necking
  16. with some phony name and Louis Sherman, I don't know
  17. why, but just happen.
  18. So try not to do that or anything you can
  19. do is be too stupid and thinking a girl is
  20. actually intelligent.
  21. I made that mistake with a girl named Sally Hayes
  22. e talked about in the beginning of Chapter 15, and
  23. I said I would do crazy about her.
  24. But I've known him for years.
  25. Everything she was quite intelligent and my stupidity, the reason
  26. I did was because she knew quite a lot about
  27. theater and plays in literature and all that stuff.
  28. Somebody knows quite a lot about those things.
  29. It takes you quite a while to find out whether
  30. there really stupid or not.
  31. I also would have figured out what she was stupid
  32. a lot early and fried and next, so damn much
  33. with her.
  34. Another thing I do along that you shouldn't is I
  35. always seem to think the person I'm necking, a smart
  36. I don't give a damn clue why, because there's nothing
  37. to do with their intelligence.
  38. But I think it anyways, there was this one girl
  39. that was all right, though.
  40. Jane Gallagher.
  41. We used to hang out all the time before I
  42. went to pence e playing chess and things like that.
  43. But she still keeps all our kings in the back,
  44. just like she used Thio.
  45. So I can't believe she went out that moron strapped
  46. later. I'm just passing myself off from the reason you're
  47. solutions. Move onto the next topic.
  48. I wanna talk about next thing I want to talk
  49. about school when you're going up in night.
  50. School is basically a constant unless you get kicked out.
  51. Um So it's obviously important that you know all about
  52. the crap you need to know about school when growing
  53. up. No, I want to pencil prep, which is a
  54. fake. An awful school.
  55. But yours is probably no different because all schools of
  56. the dam same.
  57. But I'm telling you, you don't want to go to
  58. a school that's too expensive.
  59. All right?
  60. Like I said on page four, the more expensive school
  61. is somewhere crooks it as I'm not kidding.
  62. It's only the wealthy kids that are crooks.
  63. So then, where you got in your school that we're
  64. crooks, you have just how it is.
  65. Oh, yeah.
  66. And also, the food is always terrible.
  67. I'm telling you, stick in our school if you could
  68. even call it steak.
  69. We're just dry lumps of hard meat in the with
  70. all these chunks in them.
  71. For dessert, we have Brown Betty, which is which No
  72. one, except for the kids that didn't know anybody and
  73. people like actually today everything.
  74. If you have roommates in school, you go out.
  75. You go have fun with that because it's just nothing
  76. but agony.
  77. Like I said on page 42 you were always watching
  78. somebody cut their damn toenails.
  79. They're squeezed their pimples or something.
  80. I got stuck in a room with two worst people
  81. I've ever met.
  82. Translator. And actually, friendly was always in a hurry.
  83. He was kind of friendly, phony.
  84. Kind of friendly, though.
  85. But it drove me crazy when he got back with
  86. a stupid date with Jane.
  87. He was a sexy bastard.
  88. And I worried he had given Jane the time.
  89. He didn't even talk about her.
  90. He didn't even care.
  91. Doesn't know a damn thing about Jane.
  92. It doesn't deserve her.
  93. But he was going to a little scuffle.
  94. No real winner.
  95. But I'm done talking about that moron was talking about
  96. that slob.
  97. Actually, the kid was a creature never taking care of
  98. himself. He had acne in places all over.
  99. Not just on your chin for, like, normal guys, but
  100. everywhere He was idiot.
  101. And I felt like he was always trying to purposely
  102. piss me off.
  103. And I'm not even going to get the teachers I
  104. need to know is that there are phone.
  105. You just keep that in mind into my last and
  106. most depressing topic Depression.
  107. Get it?
  108. Yeah, but I have myself had a lot of experience.
  109. Depression. Everyone feels depressed every once in a while.
  110. Lots of things to make you depressed usually is doing
  111. something that reminds you of something that makes you depressed.
  112. Sometimes you can just feel crazy, depressed.
  113. It could be something that lingers and affect how you
  114. behave. I felt pretty depressed for the majority of my
  115. book. I was at a real low in Chapter 13,
  116. getting the hooker and all.
  117. What I said was it was against my principles and
  118. all. But I was feeling so depressed.
  119. I didn't even think that's the whole trouble.
  120. When you're very depressed, you can't even think that's the
  121. main thing.
  122. When you're feeling depressed, can't even think straight.
  123. And that can be bad because I don't even want
  124. to get a hooker.
  125. But I did it anyways because I was feeling all
  126. depressed. Sometimes when I feel depressed, though, I think of
  127. my dead brother Allie.
  128. Good way to stop feeling so sad to think of
  129. something that made you happy in life might not make
  130. you feel instantly un depressed, if you know what I
  131. mean. But it will help you for a little bit
  132. lift your spirits a little higher and make you feel
  133. not as bad as you did before.
  134. Also, when you're feeling depressed, you might feel like you
  135. wanna kill yourself.
  136. I feel like that a couple of times in this
  137. book. But then I realized that there were still people
  138. that care about me.
  139. If you ever think about that, just remember that there's
  140. something worth living for.
  141. But certificate almost you on you.
  142. And that's the end of my guide.
  143. See you.