OFE Series 2 Video Presentation

Mhm. There's actually an activity that I do what I

have done in the past with educators that might really

be stuck in this.

I just don't have time.

And I call it my losing time activity.

And it's a series of questions that I lead them

through that helps them recognize how much time they're actually

spending on dealing with the challenges already and how far

is it getting them to where they want to be.

And so it's more about reframing you're spending the time

already and you're not getting results from it versus let's

look at things that might work better than what you're

working on now that might take about the same amount

of time.

So that's something that we can talk about in one

of the classes surgery consultation if that's so interesting, anybody.

Um The other piece I want to mention is our

priorities. If after a conversation with an educator, what I

recognize is that what they want was different than what

I wanted.

I have to shift, I have to shift my priorities.

Let me give you an example of this.

Um if there's an educator that needs support in one

area because it feels important to them, but I wanted

to go in and uh huh Okay, that might not

feel very good and you might be thinking to yourself,

but wait, I have a job to do too and

I can't just let go of everything that I need

to get done because of where they are and what

feels important to them.

And what I would ask you to think about is

just like we're asking the educators to understand that they

might have different goals and different roles in the moment,

the same is true for us and it might be

that I have some very clear goals and priorities in

my mind For an educator or four classroom and in

that moment I might have to let go of that,

which doesn't mean I have to let go of it

forever. I hopefully can come back around to it.

But just like I'm asking them to do with the

students. I have to be willing to consider my own

priorities and shifting my goals in my rolls and the

skills I'm using to be able to meet them where

they are and to speak in their values and to

support their priorities.

Okay, let's look at the next challenge.

I don't have enough support.

What and this might be feeling like they don't have

support from their own team members or other teachers or

administrators or district, we don't know.

Well what's the set up here?

Uh overwhelmed.

So if the setup is overwhelmed, this is an example

of me having to let go of my goal in

the moment because if I'm sitting with someone who is

sharing their overwhelmed with me, that's where I need to

start uh huh So let's go back to the developmental

model. If they are sharing their overwhelmed with me, I'm

going to start co regulating first off but I'm going

to be using the kinds of clues that we learned

about in the developmental model to determine where they are

in the process and then I'm gonna know where to

start with them.

So for example if there's somebody who is in the

whose past the wondering stage and is wanting to employment

things but they don't know what questions to ask and

they don't know what to do next as I'm co

regulating with them, I am going to start to be

explicit about that I'm going to start to talk about

oh man that just feels like so much I can

just feel my heart beating really fast as you're talking

about that.

Okay, how did you just notice that?

I just noticed when I took a deep breath you

did too.

Now I'm not going to do that.

If they're in the wondering stage, I'm not going to

be as explicit about it because that's not where they

are in the process.

But with somebody that is I would start being explicit

because I want the focus here to be on their

regulation, and that's where I'm going to start.

I'm going to start by supporting them in their regulations.

Yeah, Yeah.

And with it, with this educator, I would ask them,

What kind of support do you want?

What kind of support do you feel like you need?

And again, whatever other questions I might ask, I'm going

to then use that to create a backwards design plan

for us to be able to get to where they

say they want to be.

And one of the things that we're going to go

over in classes, just to all these different kinds of

questions that we can pull from.

Oh, okay.

Next question for next, next challenge.

I don't know how to do this.

This might sound like I don't have the skills.

This is too hard.

I hope you guys can see this quote, I'm gonna.

Mhm. Yeah.

When things are shaky and nothing is working, we might

realize that we are on the verge of something.

Uh huh.

What's this other peer?

I don't have the skills.

I'm incompetent.

I can't do this.

I'm not good enough.

Think about this from developmental age, developmental task.

Am I okay.

That's going to impact where I start because I have

to deal with that first.

I have to deal with the dis regulation that's in

front of me first.

Again, just like the last challenge.

I'm going to have to assess where they are in

the process to know how do I start working with

their dis regulations?

And I'm also going to ask them, what would you

like to try and I'm going to start supporting them

in the area, but they're willing to step into it

to try.

So again, if we go back to what we learned

from the developmental model, I might say, OK, pick one

strategy from each of the categories and let's just focus

on that and that's going to be what I'm modeling

and I'm going to remind you of something that we

talked about in our consultation groups that when I'm working

with somebody that's earlier in the process, I am going

to have to work very hard to not be the

expert and that I was showing them because I think

of this person in particular that's in the am I

okay stage if I walk into a classroom to support

them and I start modeling all the different strategies and

they're focussed on one in each category and they're struggling

with it.

I just saved them.

I've just shown them how great I am and you

can't do it and they're already there.

That's the last thing I want to do.

My dogs barking.

Uh huh.

And I want to remind you about something we talked

about in the console groups around developmental process.

If this is an educator that's working on one strategy

in each category, I want to make sure when I

go into the classroom or when I'm working with them

in any capacity, I'm only talking about modeling those strategies.

This person in particular is already in the place of

feeling incompetent if I start modeling all of the strategies

and getting the students or other educators to regulate because

of my ability to do all of these different things.

I am just reinforcing their belief that they can't do

it. And I'm allowing myself to be up here and

them to be here, which is not what I want.

I'm wanting to empower them and build their skills.

So I'm only going to model and talk about the

strategies they have said they want to work on, even

though it's hard because so often, especially if we get

to be in a classroom, we want to go in

there and show them, look, look what's keep things can

happen, look at what we can do because we want

to go in and we want to show me look

at the possibilities and I get that, I get that

we want to do that.

And yet we're doing it in a disempowering way, if

we're The one doing it.

So we want to support for them and doing it.

Which can be hard.

People think about where this might be coming from, their

own fear, their own trauma, their lack of confidence.

So that's what I want to be building.

Okay, the other thing I want to be talking about

is finding support.

Where does support exist for this particular person, whether it's

me or somebody else?

So, we talked about this model being a teeming approach.

So I'm going to start talking about teaming with this

particular person where what I'm hearing is I don't have

to do this.

We're going to talk about ways to build support.

All right.

Mhm. And they do have an activity um again, that

we can talk about in classes or concentrating that we

talk about classes or consultation.

Um That helps normalize this, that if I have a

lot of educators that I feel like we're in the

am I OK stage?

Um I want to normalize it and try to build

some some community around the fact that we're all feeling

incompetent sometimes.

So that's an activity that I can share with you

as well.

Okay. The final challenge.

This won't work at my school.

Uh huh.

So in this case we might be dealing with school

climate issue.

We might be dealing with an educator that's feeling like

it's just me and I'm an island in the school.

How much can I really do on my own?

And the other issue that might be there, which I've

seen quite often is a lack of trust at the

school. I don't want to put myself forward and do

this because I'm gonna get knocked down.

Other people aren't going to understand, I can't put myself

out there because how is it going to come back

at me?

What's going to happen to me?

Yeah. Try this.

So sure we're going to be focused on finding support.

We're gonna be talking about teaming and in the class

where we talk specifically about teaming, we're gonna be working

a lot on building into briefing strategies for teams because

it takes time to build trust.

Doing this work requires a lot of vulnerability.

So we need to support people and moving through that.

So we're going to spend time talking through how do

I do that?

How do I support people in learning how to breathe

in these highly charged, highly intense situations that are occurring

with students as we help them find support.

We're going to do that in different ways.

We're going to help them recognize clues of safety for

themselves, in the classroom and in the school environment.

The girl club.

Yeah. Uh huh.

First of all.

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