Unit 5 Emotional Wellbeing

Hey guys I am back for unit five which we will be talking about emotional wellness.

So um

this also I know I've said this about a few of

these but this is one of my favorite topics again.

Um And I just actually finished a book that's all about all

of the different emotions that we feel written by Bernie Brown.

So I pulled a quote right out of the book.

Um and it says research shows that the process of labeling

emotional experience is related to greater emotional regulation and well being.

So

that's kind of a lot of big words.

But what I love about this is that oftentimes we think well if

I like name what I'm feeling then it's gonna it's gonna be bigger.

But really what the research shows is that when we

name what we what we feel we actually have um

we're better,

better able to manage it versus just like kind of being stuck in the

big emotions and not really knowing or being able to say what's going on.

So being able to figure out what's really going on

is super helpful when we want to regulate our emotions.

So what are emotions? Um

I grabbed these two definitions out of just like offline or out of a dictionary

and then I'll share with you a little bit more about what my definition.

So emotions are a natural instinctive state

of mind deriving from one's circumstances,

mood or relationships with others.

So it's really like what,

how we react to what's going on around us

and then feelings are an emotional state or reaction.

So you will notice in this presentation that I

may go back and forth between feelings and emotions

and that's because they're very intertwined and sometimes I just do that.

So what I like to think about emotions is

that its energy in motion inside of our bodies.

So

emotions are really felt

in the body and then,

you know in the body which is connected to our brain and

we often try to make sense of them in our minds.

So I'm going to share a little bit of science with you guys um

adolescents which is age group that you are considered

have an increase in emotional intensity which occurs in their amygdala.

So like there's actually a change when you go through adolescence where

um your emotions become more intense and at the same time

the frontal cortex of the brain is not fully developed yet.

And that's the part of the brain that kind of dampens the big emotions.

So you're feeling naturally like

there's nothing wrong with you, you're feeling emotions really big

and that part of your brain that says like

that you will go that will develop later that says like,

oh this is this is too big or maybe you shouldn't be feeling

this right now or this is too big of a response to that

um stimulus,

that part is not developed and I will get into this a little bit later,

but I actually think

um emotions, energy and motion

passes like the way that we get over it is by letting it pass through us.

So even though it can feel really hard to have these big emotions

and not be able to control them.

And also oftentimes it lets them pass through us a little bit quicker

then when we start trying to control them.

So a little bit more science.

Um But I think it's really important when we talk about emotions to learn

a little bit more about them and how and where we feel them. So

there's something called

the

autonomic nervous system and I like it's kind of like an automatic um

system that goes from the body

Up to the brain and it's always sending signals from the

body to the rain and then the brain to the body.

But 80% of the signals are coming from the body which is where we feel our emotions.

So at the top which I'm gonna just call like the blue smiley face.

So I'm using the emojis on the screen.

Um It's called the ventral.

But that's where we're feeling really calm and curious and open and it

would be kind of considered like our happy state or content state.

And one of the most important things about learning about

this is that when we're in that that blue face

that is when we're most able to learn.

So when we when we moved down to the green guy who's a little bit frowny

and that's when we're in the sympathetic nervous

system where it's really were kind of activated.

Um So there's anger and frustration and fear and anxiety and worry and stress

and in this system this part of our system it's really hard to learn new things.

So this is really important if you're a student at

school um or trying to have a conversation with somebody.

If you notice that your body is feeling any of those feelings that

I just mentioned and your heart may be beating a little bit faster,

your breath maybe a little bit lighter.

It's really hard to take in and process new information.

And then we moved down to the red guy who's got an even

bigger frown and that's the dorsal state which is like the shutdown state

and that's where we might be feeling a little bit stuck or hopeless

and we go in between these like all of us all the time.

Um It's when we get really stuck in one that it becomes really

not a great thing.

So why is it important to know where you are on that continuum?

Um It helps us to be able to regulate ourselves.

Like I said, if you notice that you are, you know,

maybe you had like an argument with a friend and you show

up to class and your teacher's trying to teach you something new,

you can say wow like I'm really not

absorbing this new information, like what I'll give you a few tools later,

what tools can I use right now to get myself regulated so that I'm open to learning.

Um we understand our emotions better and

we can avoid unnecessary conflicts with people.

If we notice that we're not in a good state, we can ask like, hey, I'm sorry,

do you mind like having this conversation in a few minutes?

I'm really like not in a good place right now.

Um and then it also opens us up to be able to communicate with a

variety of people because we know a little bit more about how our emotions work.

So this is just kind of another like picture

of of that system that I was talking about.

So the blues where we're calm and happy.

Um and we're learning new things and we're open to new ideas and then

you'll notice that there are a few of the words that are kind of in

the middle and that's because there are some emotions that are kind of like,

like excited as a happy but also a little bit activated.

And then hurt can be in that like sympathetic. Like really work like upset place.

But also sometimes we feel like we just don't really want to do anything about it.

So that would be in between the other two

and then we have just in the sympathetic.

We have worried and mad or the green guy and then down to the red,

we have overwhelmed and disappointed.

So

going back to feeling emotions in the body.

Um You know,

there's some sayings that we've all heard like my problems are

sweaty when you're nervous or my stomach was in knots if you're

like worrying about something. Um So that is literally our emotions.

Like that's us feeling our emotions and we have sayings for

them because that's something that a lot of people experience.

Um So for me, if I'm stressed or worried,

I just have a lot, a lot on my mind. Like I feel it in my shoulders and in my jaw.

Sometimes I'm clenching my muscles here.

Sometimes my mind can be really racing and I'm not able to like have clear thoughts.

Um Sometimes when you're nervous or excited, if you put your hand on your chest,

you can actually feel your heart beating really fast.

Like I said, mentioned like sometimes your belly can just feel really tight

um and then breathing. If you ever have the awareness or start to have the awareness.

If you're in kind of a heated conversation with somebody or an argument,

you may notice that your breath like you're not taking slow long breaths in

and out of your body which regulates that system that I was talking about.

So what do you do to regulate?

So when you're in the ventral which is that blue guy, you just want to enjoy it.

This is the most pleasant place to be. It's where you're learning.

That's where you're open.

Um And then if you notice that you are in sympathetic the activated state,

you want to focus on lengthening your exhales.

So when we lengthen our exhale our inhales just automatically become longer.

So if you're ever trying to calm yourself down from that state,

you just want to think about breathing out for longer.

Um When we're in this activated state,

we want to actually like move our body to get some of that energy out.

So moving our body going outside nature is really helpful. Those are some tools.

Um And then if you're if you're endorse cell for

you know like for short periods of time it's okay.

But if it if it feels like it's like it's just kind of starting to feel like a lot then

you want to start and you want to do really small

actions like smelling something that you love or texting a friend.

You may not want to facetime because that's like a big thing but a text would be good.

Um

I love music. So if I'm feeling

actually in sympathetic or endorse cell and sympathetic,

I might want to listen to a comb like song to kind of like

help me with lengthen my breath.

Um or I could listen to a fast song that I want to move my body too.

And then when I'm in dorsal I may also want to listen to like a medium song so that I

can maybe like just like start to move my body

just a little bit but not like big movements.

So

I just gave you some things about what to do when you're in those states.

Some other things to know is that it's totally normal to have these

big emotions especially right now

and it's great to have them and feel them

and allow them and then let them pass through.

Um and you, you know like think about those tools that I just mentioned um

to help when you're in those states to kind of shift out of them

and don't judge yourself because that's not going to help anything. And um

it's important to feel them and move through them instead of

trying to be mad at yourself and get stuck in them.

So some interesting facts that retain to adolescents that I thought I would share.

Um

embarrassment is something that you really start to feel in adolescence.

So it's something that younger kids don't even

have the ability to understand or feel.

And what it is is the understanding

of what others may be thinking of you.

And it happens during adolescence.

It's very hard to feel like you're

constantly seeing yourself through other people's eyes.

It can make things like ordering a smoothie feel like the end of the world.

And so that's just like something to, it's very natural, it feels uncomfortable,

but it's something that's going on for you right now and it will, it will,

you will shift out of it soon.

Um and a few other interesting facts when we feel social pain.

Um so that's like maybe an argument with a friend or breaking up with someone,

we feel that pain in the same part of our brain that we feel physical pain. So

if you have had one of those experiences and you're feeling it like really big,

it's totally normal that and and maybe it feels like, you know,

your heart got broken or whatever it is and it feels so painful.

That's because you experienced that pain in the same part of your brain.

Um and then also something that I like to

remember when I'm feeling nervous is that excitement and nervousness

are very similar feeling.

And so if I'm feeling really nervous, I like to remember that those two feelings are

very similar and I can use that to say

how can I bring some excitement to this nervousness?

Alright, so that is it. There was a lot in this one. Um I am really fascinated by

learning to understand better, how

we feel things in our bodies and how it actually works scientifically so

that we can understand it a little bit better and not judge ourselves or

be feel feel weird or awkward about things or not understand them.

And so I hope that I gave you guys just like a little bit um and

I'm going to end with this quote because I think

this is important and I already mentioned a few times,

so obviously I think it's important.

Um this might surprise you,

but one of the best ways to manage your emotions is

simply to experience that emotion and let it run its course.

So if we try to push it down,

it just gets stuck and that's energy and motion in our body and we want to let it out.

Um

So that is it next month we will be talking about thriving socially.

Um and it piggybacks perfectly on this topic that we just covered,

and if you have any questions for me,

please reach out and I hope that you guys have a good month.

Okay,

bye.

Unit 5 Emotional Wellbeing

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