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Hello everyone.

My name is Eugene chang and this

is my final project on interpersonal communication.

For my first group it will be my friend Eli walker.

So eli has been my best friend and he's been my friend for about five years now.

He's two years older than me and we talked every day,

it's a long distance friendship but we always stay connected no matter what.

So the topic said I'm going to be using

for my conversations with him are somewhat private,

so you didn't feel comfortable giving me his photo.

So I just decided to use this photo as an

example but this is generally what he looks like.

Yeah,

so one day Eli messaged me while I was at work when

he needed to talk to me as soon as I got home

he said it was serious and he needed someone to talk to him.

When I got home he said that he had officially cut off his family,

so he was clearly having a lot of family problems

and he needed someone to vent to about it.

And so I felt that the course concept that was most appropriate

with this conversation was the Johari

window regulated rules and mindful listening.

So for the Johari window, I wanted to

focus on the hidden area specifically

because the topic of family problems was something that he and not

everyone is most likely not comfortable with sharing with just anybody.

So he only felt comfortable with speaking about

it with me because it is traumatic and

we are a lot closer

for the regulated rules,

it's a shared understanding on when to talk about certain things.

But you must specify. So he messaged me while I was at work

telling me that he needed to talk to me about something private.

If he had just texted me that he had

family issues and then that he cut them off and shared this news with me,

I would have been

somewhat shocked and would have been

uncomfortable.

I don't think I would have been able to respond to this appropriately.

As for mindful listening, it's undivided attention,

acceptance and non judgment in this case because he

was sharing something very,

very private with me and I gave him all my attention and I had

to accept everything he was telling me and accept him as my friend.

I couldn't really judge him for his decision because I knew

exactly where he was coming from and I knew the situation

better than most people would have.

So I just had to be there for him and I just let him do all the talking.

So after a conversation he felt a lot better about his decision

from here on out. You should be able to live a free life away from abusive people.

For my next conversation with Eli

last week, Eli and I were on the phone and we're talking about our day,

we got into a current status of our friendship before we went off to bed.

We told each other what we meant to each other and this talk was no short from genuine.

I couldn't see myself having such a conversation with anyone else.

That is why I felt that either.

How was the most appropriate concept for this conversation?

Obviously just as this situation was the definition

for it that would most likely be genuine,

rare and the highest form of human dialogue.

And we're not even closer than ever.

And I hope our friendship remains strong for a long time

for my next group. It will be my family and I chose my brother. His name is David chang.

David chang is my biological brother and we share the same parents.

We aren't very close when we talk to each other every now and then over little things.

He's a year younger than me and he's a student at U. C. Irvine.

Okay

for the first conversation it will be hatred towards personal identity.

So in this case it was his hatred towards his own personal identity.

The other day David and I were talking about our parents and he called telling me

that he regrets the kind of man that he had become under our parents care.

So he wasn't having the best day obviously and he kind of exploded

telling me that he regretted

everything that our parents taught him and what he had become from it.

And of course that is what just comes with growing up.

You know you don't agree with everything that your parents teach you.

And so I felt the best concept for

this conversation with the empathy and identity scripts,

empathy is the ability to share and understand feelings of

another while identity scripts or rules for living and identity.

I chose to leave because I knew everything he was going through.

I lived in that house the same way that he

did and everything that he's experiencing was something that I've experienced

as for the identity scripts.

It is because

those roles and those scripts that were put out for

him during childhood that he is the man that he

is today and he is growing up to know that

those are not the roles that he wants to fulfill

as he grows on

in life.

He no longer feels sorry for himself now and that he's going,

he got it all of it out of his chest

and he's still working on getting control of his identity.

It's progressing over time,

but hopefully it grows up to be someone that he's proud of.

Yeah,

for our next conversation, the topic was moving out and moving on.

So David messaged me that he was scared of moving out of our

parents place and I think talking about growing up started to scare him.

We were on the conversation about

growing up in

moving on because I had left for the military

and he was still living with our parents.

The best concepts that would go with this

topic would be mind reading and dual perspective

because of the way that I perceived it and

exactly what I was thinking about the entire time, I could remember now.

As for mind reading,

it means to assume that we understand what

the other person perceives or feels and thinks

dual perspective is to put ourselves in their shoes and

to understand how someone else thinks and feels about issues.

It wasn't very fair with me to mind with him, I'll admit because

it's not it wasn't very difficult for me to move out,

but for him it's like the end of the world because that is all he knows

and our personalities are very different.

Obviously,

I can jump into things very easily while he can

hesitate and sometimes need to think about it 34 times.

That is why he was uncomfortable. He wasn't

feeling very safe about on the idea of leaving everything that he knows

and

I tried to assume what he, what he was feeling. But

obviously I had to change my thought process and to do a

perspective to realize that he isn't me and whatever he's feeling,

I need to let him let it out and tell me about it so

that I can at least be of some kind of support to him.

But he is still living with them due to the pandemic obviously,

but he plans on moving out as soon as it all blows over

for my last group will be my intimate partner Rodrigo, how to gain.

Rodrigo has been my partner for about three, about half a year.

And he's three months older than me.

We're currently in a long distance relationship.

He is in Nebraska right now and it will be about a year

until I'm able to get out of the military to be with him.

For my first topic with Rodrigo will be discussing long distance.

So obviously

long distance is something that everyone needs to talk about before you go on to it.

And he and I had different experiences with that.

I've never had long distance relationships,

but he has which provided some form of security to me

because I had no idea what I was getting into.

Rodrigo and I were discussing what we needed from each other and we

needed from ourselves in order to make our long distance relationship work.

We had this conversation right before he left

for Nebraska at his brother's house party.

And for the concepts that I chose for this conversation

would be Maslow's theory and I language versus new language.

So this conversation was rather heated because it was a

pretty mature and adult conversation that we had to have

at the spur of the moment.

The massive story is

to put it simply the basic human needs.

And I language versus new languages like taking

responsibility over your own emotions when communicating versus

accusing the other for the way that they feel

lately.

We haven't had much issues in our relationship and

hopefully we'll make this work until ah yes,

I hope we can maintain the happiness for the next year.

Yeah,

Oh

my next conversation with Rodrigo is about routine tension. So

I was on a video chat with my boyfriend and I was growing tired of the same old thing,

I told him that I was starting to grow tired

of the routine and I wanted to change things up.

Unfortunately he didn't feel the same way

the courses,

the course concept that I used for this

conversation would be relational dialectics and communication climates,

relational dialectics,

which is attention based on natural human needs that are not the same with

each partner and communication climates are overall

feeling an emotional mood between people,

so

what we would do after work would we would just talk,

we would just have a conversation with each other and that was it.

Just ask talking about work and after a while it became

suffocating to me because the conversations were interesting,

I was trying to relax and I didn't want to talk about work,

but it was okay with him because he was fine

with my presence no matter how boring it was.

So I just had to tell him that I had to be affirming

when I told him my needs, I had to tell him it wasn't his fault that I was feeling bored,

I wasn't bored of him,

I was just bored with the routine and I wanted to change things up.

So the solution was that we decided to have more movie nights after work so we

can do what we do on our free time together in a way we're multitasking because

when I'm having my me time away from him and from everyone else,

I watch movies and I watch shows so I didn't see why we couldn't do that together

and maybe if things get boring, we can start playing video games together.

But I really thought that movie nights are boring anymore.

I just want to thank everyone for your participation with my presentation.

I am aware that the settings were not very

different or unique because most of my relationships are long distance,

but I hope it was entertaining to whoever was listening. Thank you.

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