Self Talk Matters

WS
by Wellbeing Science Institute13 views·Updated May 21, 2023
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  1. If we're really serious about strengthening our self compassion,
  2. we have to get to know our inner critic.
  3. Self talk really matters
  4. when it comes to developing and strengthening self compassion.
  5. Noticing
  6. and then changing your critical self talk is one of the best ways
  7. to really develop your self compassion.
  8. We can counter our inner critic, and we all have an inner critic.
  9. But over time we can change the way
  10. we relate to ourselves.
  11. There's three steps that you can take
  12. whenever you hear your inner critic,
  13. but like with the three components of self compassion,
  14. the first step is, of course, to notice when you're being self critical,
  15. That means to listen
  16. to the thoughts in your head, listen to the dialogue
  17. counter or soften that self critical voice.
  18. Be kind to it.
  19. Use phrases like
  20. I know you're worried about me, but you're not being helpful right now.
  21. Thanks for trying to help
  22. but
  23. reframe what your inner critic has said
  24. in a friendly and positive way.
  25. Imagine that it's your friend who's just said this.
  26. What would you say to them instead?
  27. It's OK to be worried.
  28. I know you think it's a big deal that you've made a mistake,
  29. but really,
  30. it's going to be OK.
  31. Come up with some phrases that work for you.
  32. Notice yourself critic, critic.
  33. Soften the self critical voice and then reframe.
  34. So
  35. in strengthening your self compassion,
  36. it's gonna be really important to get to know your inner critic
  37. only you know,
  38. what are those words or key phrases that come up over and over again?
  39. Don't just notice the words,
  40. but notice the tone of voice that's used.
  41. And also,
  42. when does it seem to appear?
  43. What are some of the words or phrases of kindness that you
  44. can use with your inner critic that feel right to you?
  45. Some people like to use humour
  46. or logic to try and counter it,
  47. whatever feels right for you.
  48. But take a few moments now
  49. to jot down
  50. some of those inner critic words or phrases that you hear
  51. and then
  52. write down.
  53. What can you say instead to your inner critic
  54. when they emerge?
  55. Trying to be helpful
  56. but actually
  57. can often lead you astray