Counseling Individuals Through Coming Out

Hi, I'm Joanne Grayson,

and I'm gonna be talking about counselling individuals who are coming out.

First.

We have to define what coming out is coming out of the process by which gay, lesbian,

bisexual and transgender individuals come to

an acceptance of their sexual orientation.

It involves accepting understanding and valuing their own

sexual orientation and identity as an individual,

and it also involves exploring their identity and sharing it with others.

This process is typically a gradual process, though for some it can be very,

very quick.

For most people, though,

it can take

weeks, months, even years. And it's an ongoing process of becoming rather than

something that you achieve.

Um, cast identified. The cast theory identified six stages of coming out.

Stage one is identity confusion,

where the individual is questioning whether or not they're homosexual.

Stage to identity comparison.

Um,

the individual has accepted the possibility that they may be

gay and may face social isolation with that new identity.

Stage three. Identity tolerance.

Um, that individual has begun to accept their homosexuality,

and they begin to tolerate that identity.

Um,

their confusion begins to lessen, but they may feel increased isolation.

Um, as they realised that

their life is different than society's expectations.

Um, in stage for identity acceptance.

Um, most of the questions concerning sexual identity have been resolved,

and the individual has accepted themselves as a homosexual.

They have increased contact with the LGBT community at this point.

Stage five. Identity Pride The individual is beginning to actually feel

like they are part of the LGBT community,

and they're getting immersed in LGBT culture.

Um, they may have less contact with heterosexual culture,

and sometimes they even feel angry or reject the heterosexual community.

In Stage six. The individual

actually, um integrates their sexual identity with their whole identity,

and it becomes just a part of who they are.

Um,

so you may ask, Why would an individual come out?

An individual would come out because they want

to acknowledge to themselves who they are.

Um, it's part of being honest with yourself and with others.

Um, by not coming out,

an individual often has to hide a significant

portion of their life from their loved ones.

Um,

and most people that have come out have

identified it as a very liberating experience.

That said, there are individuals who opt not to come out

and those Those individuals often cite fear of rejection by friends,

family or loved ones.

Um, perhaps their community may, um,

not be very tolerant of LGBT community. Um, and so they may face threats of violence.

Um, there may be discord with cultural expectations.

If perhaps it's, um not okay with their religious um

uh,

culture, um,

societal responses or attitudes towards homosexuality or difference in general.

Um, they may have feelings of shame, isolation or fear,

and particularly for minors.

Um, there's a lot of financial dependency and the fear of being cut off financially.

Implications for counsellors, then,

are that counsellors need to take into consideration the differences

between individuals and how that impacts the coming out process.

Each process is unique, and there's no one right way for an individual to come out.

Our role as a counsellor is to help facilitate that process for each individual.

And so there's several things that we have

to be able to understand about the individuals

and statistics in the LGBT community before we can apply this.

Firstly, most people come out around the median age of 2018 for gay men,

24 bisexual is 21 for lesbians.

There are some people who opt never to come out.

4% for gay men, 5% for lesbians, 24% for bisexuals.

Bisexuals are a lot less likely to come out

to their parents than gay or lesbian individuals.

Most individuals admit that they have some difficulty in

coming out to one or both of their parents,

but relatively few say that it weakens their

relationship with them after the coming out process.

Mm

LGBT individuals are often more active on

social networking sites in the general public,

which means that a lot of times they are more prone to

being out on social media than they are in real life.

LGBT adults are less likely than the general public

to report being very happy with their life overall,

Um,

and most LGBT adults report that there is at least some

level of acceptance of the LGBT population where they live.

Yeah.

Mm.

So

LGBT persons of colour, um, can face a very different,

um experience with coming out than, um, other people.

Because of the cultural background,

counsellors need to consider cultural specific

strategies when working with LGBT p.

O. C s

geographical location can also influence the LGBT experience,

especially as it relates to coming out

income and education level.

Also factor into general feelings of acceptance by the LGBT individuals.

And so, um, those that live, um,

and higher income brackets or have higher education

levels often report higher levels of acceptance.

Um, generational factors are another thing that will factor in,

um to one's willingness to come out into what degree one is out.

Um, older LGBT individuals may only be out to one or two people that are close to them.

They may not be out in the workplace, whereas younger LGBT community members

tend to be more willing to be out, um,

at school or at work in in broad circles in their lives.

Um, youth who come out are a lot more likely to experience homeless homelessness,

um, than those who choose not to disclose their sexual or gender identity.

So that's something that counsellors need to consider.

It's not always in the best interests of the client

to push them to disclose their sexual or gender identity.

Um,

and a lot of times there can be separate mental health concerns like anxiety,

depression, feelings of isolation or distress, um,

that the council will also need to address, um,

in addition to helping them come to terms

with accepting their sexual or gender identity.

Our job as a counsellor is to embrace

that client and help them to embrace themselves,

help them to accept them, um, and let them be authentically them.

MM

ways that we can do this are things like positive psychology.

Positive psychology seeks to promote understanding and foster the signature

strengths in the lives of sexual and gender minorities,

along with strategies to support,

build and celebrate those strengths within diverse populations.

Um,

they also seek to integrate strength based models that acknowledged the

unique stretchers and mental health problems of sexual and gender minorities.

Therapists need to seek to accept,

to validate and or normalise the clients sexual orientation and gender identity,

and maintain a positive and respectful attitude

throughout the entire course of therapy.

Um, one of the ways to do that is to help the client feel understood, and

clients have said one of the best ways that therapists do that is

by only focusing on the sexual orientation

or gender identity when it's appropriate.

It's not always central to the issue that they are facing at the moment,

so it doesn't always need to be part of the discussion.

Some interventions that have proven to be very effective with LGBT

individuals are directive and structured approaches things like goal setting,

um, providing advice or suggestions, um,

confrontation of self defeating attitudes or behaviours that

they may express towards themselves or others.

Um, non directive approaches like

listening

or silence. Being able to, um,

allow the client to sit there and, um, have that wait time, um, exploration.

Like asking questions of the client.

Um, to further understand what it is that they're saying

providing perspective, Um, like interpretations of their behaviours,

um reframing providing an alternate meaning to their experience.

Or problem with the potential for constructive behavioural change

or providing feedback and observation to the client.

Yeah,

we can do this through several approaches and counselling.

Cognitive behavioural therapy, um, is talk therapy.

That's aimed at making the client aware of negative thought patterns

so they can change their behaviour and respond more effectively.

Dialectical behaviour therapy is a branch

of cognitive behavioural therapy that teaches how

to cope with stress and regulate emotions and improve relationships with others.

um, other things like relaxation techniques. Um, were validating the client.

Um, other things like empathy.

Um, making sure that you're providing unconditional positive regard, Um,

for the clients so that they feel that loving acceptance from the counsellor.

Um, affirmative counselling, um,

is actually a form of counselling where not only do you validate the counsellor,

but you

actively advocate for minority identities.

Um,

counsellors that are practising affirmative counselling will help clients

embrace their identity and not seek to cure them.

Um, you work to achieve your client's mental health goals?

Well, actively uplifting their identity.

Um,

motivational interviewing helps people to resolve

their ambivalent feelings and insecurities and

uses that to find internal motivation to make positive behavioural change.

This is especially effective when working with families, um,

and self disclosure letting clients know, um, when appropriate

experiences where they can relate, um, to their therapist.

Oh,

yeah.

So support for the client.

Um, the role of the family and friends, um, is incredibly important.

Coming out is going to impact both the individual and the family unit.

Adolescents report that it is important to their own mental

health and well being to come out to their families.

Um, they just have to be able to do that in their own time. LGBT youth,

who reported positive coming out experiences with family members,

were half as likely to report suicide attempts compared to those

who perceived that they were not accepted in their home.

Most youth described the importance of having at least one person or group of

people in their surrounding context who were

actively supportive of them and counsellors.

You can use things like motivational interviewing with

family members in a collaborative treatment environment,

um, to address those emotions.

If family members are feeling ambivalent or having

insecurities or concerns associated with learning of,

they're used disclosure of their sexual or gender identity,

um, to find that internal motivation to

create the positive change for their

LGBT youth.

Mhm.

Thank you.

Okay.

Counseling Individuals Through Coming Out

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