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Transcript

Circumscribing

STAGES OF COMING APART

  • Restricting topics

  • Less depth and time

  • Less expression of committment
  • "In spite of our differences, I still like you a lot." Respone: Silence.

  • Whole new set of ground rules
  • "You don't own me and you can't tell me what to think."

  • Faking it in public

Robyn Grant

Schoenstatt Nichols

Ana Maria Rincón

Armanda Simon

Avoiding

  • Rhetoric of avoidance is the antithesis of the rhetoric of initiation

  • Particular messages may contain overtones of antagonism or unfriendliness

  • Subtle avoidance cues
  • Being constantly late for appointments
  • "I can't stay long"

  • This stage reflects a lack of desire to spend time and energy in pursuing a relationship
  • "I'm so busy, I don't know when I'll be able to see you."

  • Any, or all, forms of "distancing" may occur at this stage
  • Avoidance
  • Disengagement
  • Cognitive Dissociation

Terminating

Differentiating

Stagnating

  • Relationships can end at any time
  • "The bonds that held the pair together wear thin and finally pull apart"

  • Various reasons can be found for the deterioration of a relationship

  • Termination dialogue is dependent on many factors
  • Distance
  • Disassociation

  • Communication is polarized

  • Dialogue would contain a regular manifestation (typical structure)
  • Summary statement
  • Behaviors signaling the impending end
  • Messages indicate the future of the relationship
  • "To become distinct or different in character"

  • Language
  • "We" & "Us" vs. "I" & "Me"

  • Integrating vs. Differentiating
  • Fusion vs. Diengaging/Uncoupling

  • Characterized by what distinguishes the individual or by how little they have in common

  • Prolonged interaction in this stage
  • "To remain motionionless or inactive"

  • Assuming to know the converstaion

  • Relationship is at a standstill
  • Fallen into the trap of marking time

  • Communication is "more stylized, difficult, rigid, awkward, hesitant, and narrow"

  • Extended stagnating: avoiding conversation due to perceived outcomes

Terminating (cont.)

Stagnating (cont.)

  • Why do individuals spend time at this stage of the realtionship?
  • Most don't!

  • Those who do linger at this stage...
  • Benefits
  • Hope
  • Avoidance
  • Pleasure

Thank You!