Circumscribing
STAGES OF COMING APART
- Less expression of committment
- "In spite of our differences, I still like you a lot." Respone: Silence.
- Whole new set of ground rules
- "You don't own me and you can't tell me what to think."
Robyn Grant
Schoenstatt Nichols
Ana Maria Rincón
Armanda Simon
Avoiding
- Rhetoric of avoidance is the antithesis of the rhetoric of initiation
- Particular messages may contain overtones of antagonism or unfriendliness
- Subtle avoidance cues
- Being constantly late for appointments
- "I can't stay long"
- This stage reflects a lack of desire to spend time and energy in pursuing a relationship
- "I'm so busy, I don't know when I'll be able to see you."
- Any, or all, forms of "distancing" may occur at this stage
- Avoidance
- Disengagement
- Cognitive Dissociation
Terminating
Differentiating
Stagnating
- Relationships can end at any time
- "The bonds that held the pair together wear thin and finally pull apart"
- Various reasons can be found for the deterioration of a relationship
- Termination dialogue is dependent on many factors
- Distance
- Disassociation
- Communication is polarized
- Dialogue would contain a regular manifestation (typical structure)
- Summary statement
- Behaviors signaling the impending end
- Messages indicate the future of the relationship
- "To become distinct or different in character"
- Language
- "We" & "Us" vs. "I" & "Me"
- Integrating vs. Differentiating
- Fusion vs. Diengaging/Uncoupling
- Characterized by what distinguishes the individual or by how little they have in common
- Prolonged interaction in this stage
- "To remain motionionless or inactive"
- Assuming to know the converstaion
- Relationship is at a standstill
- Fallen into the trap of marking time
- Communication is "more stylized, difficult, rigid, awkward, hesitant, and narrow"
- Extended stagnating: avoiding conversation due to perceived outcomes
Terminating (cont.)
Stagnating (cont.)
- Why do individuals spend time at this stage of the realtionship?
- Most don't!
- Those who do linger at this stage...
- Benefits
- Hope
- Avoidance
- Pleasure
Thank You!