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jimmie roper

on 23 April 2010

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Transcript of Satire

OVERCROWDED JAILS!!!! Drugs, violence and inhumanity – the cost of overcrowded jailsPrisons have been struggling to provide humane containment, unable to ensure constructive activity for thousands of prisoners, due to record levels of overcrowding over the past year, according to a report published today by the Prison Reform Trust. The Prison Service also failed to meet its KPI on suicides with 92 prisoners taking their own lives in 2003-2004.The report notes that an average of 16,500 were living two to a cell designed for one person, having to defecate in front of one another and some times eat their food whilst sitting on the toilet The reason for the growth is not more crime, which has been stable or fallen, or from more convictions in court, which have stayed stable, but the extension of prison for petty offenders and ever lengthening sentences.The result is crowded prisons. our prisons have been overcrowded for every year for more than a decade. Many are sitting out their sentences in a shared cell, eating, sleeping and using the toilet in the same small space as another person up to 23 hours a day. Crowded prisons do not work. For many years we have built and built, and prisons have filled up yet more quickly. It is like trying to deal with a runaway train by building more track how do we fix this you ask??? BUILD AN ARENA!!!!! build something similar to the Coliseum in Rome, have all the prisoners fight one another till one man is left standing. hold this event annually! Line em up and let it be a tournament! Open this fight to ithe public, anyone interested in watching will pay a small fee. Consessions will be provided. They can even place bets on who they think will win! The winning bet gets all the money! Start out with the different branches fighting one another and have a bracket set up as to who will fight whom. Every person who dies...well.... dies!
The winner gets upgraded to a prison suite facility. every year there will only be one person left after the fight! SOUNDS GREAT!! The Bodies from the fight will be auctioned off for profit to help maintain the arena, and the suite prison for those who win.
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