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Emotion Coaching and Mindfulness in Schools
Transcript of Emotion Coaching and Mindfulness in Schools
Emotion Coaching and Mindfulness in Schools
Dr Janet Rose
Dr Sarah Temple
Tuning in to Kids , Sophie Havighurst and Ann Harley www.tuningintokids.org.au Mindful,
Department Psychiatry, the University of Melbourne
John Gottman,(1997). Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting. Simon and Schuster: New York.
Adele Faber, and Elaine Mazlish (1980, 2000). How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids will Talk., Avon Books: New York.
Adele Faber, and Elaine Mazlish, (1987, 1998) Siblings Without Rivalry. Avon Books: New York.
The Gottman Institute http://www.gottman.com
Emotionally Intelligent Parenting (EQParenting) http://www.eqparenting.com
Dan Siegel , Handmodel of the brain; The whole brain child (with Tina Bryson)
Dr Sarah Temple MRCGP
Children who are emotion coached are more likely to:
Have better cognitive abilities
Stronger social skills
Display more pro-social behaviour
Have fewer physical illnesses
Lower behaviour problems and lower anxiety or depressive symptoms
Eisenberg et al, 1998; Havighurst et al 2009, 2010, 2012; Kehoe et al 2014
Greatest benefit for children with higher levels of Emotional negative reactivity
Externalising behaviour (particularly at a young age)
Anxiety or depressive symptoms
Denham et al, 2000; Duncombe et al 2012; Kehoe et al 2014
Be aware of your own feelings – emotions are contagious
Manage your own feelings of anxiety/frustration/etc
Sharing your own worries can make things worse for them
Acceptance is crucial- show respect and empathise
‘Name it to tame it’ – labeling fear can help to calm
But avoid labeling the child
Avoid saying ‘Don’t worry/don’t think about it’
Help the child face their fear by scaffolding gently- be creative
Externalise the problem and work together with your child
Other helpful pointers
Responding to low level emotions
Emotions are noticed, the child does not have to escalate to have feelings noticed
Emotions are accepted, conflicts are not escalated
More optimal time to teach about emotions (frontal lobes are still engaged)
Can work pro-actively to lower stress chemicals (e.g., check sleep, food, calming/letting off steam activities; be more mindful during high risk times)
Clear limits are set early while emotions are recognised and respected
All feelings are OK – behaviours can be OK or not OK
Children learn to self-soothe, stay calm
Bond between child and parent is strengthened– power struggles less likely
John Gottman, 1997
Why does emotion coaching work?
You might be warm and concerned but do not respond to the child’s emotions.
Or you might:
Jump straight to problem-solving (e.g., offer advice “You should have…”)
Tell the child not to worry
Immediately offer distractions or reassurance
Moralise (the parental agenda, values)
Take another person’s side instead of the child’s perspective
Immediately explain why...... (defensive responding)
Emotion dismissing responses
It allows you to have awareness and control over what you do
It results in lower levels of stress, which are associated with better health
Enables more satisfying friendships and lasting intimate relationships
You can sooth yourself and are therefore able to calmly focus, concentrate
and think when faced with a challenging situation
It makes you more resilient (better able to deal with change and stress).
Tuning in to Kids, Sophie Havighurst and Ann Harley
The function of anxiety and worry
Role of temperament
Most children experience worry/fear
Different presentations - many parents don’t recognise anxiety
Clues: Somatic complaints, play, questions, avoidance
Parents may model worry/fear responses
Punitive, overprotective parenting, perfectionism
Emotional competence – a protective factor
Anxiety and Worry
There are five key steps to Emotion Coaching (John Gottman, 1997)
Become aware of the child’s emotion, especially noticing lower intensity emotions (e.g., disappointment, frustration).
View these emotions as an opportunity for connecting and teaching.
Communicate understanding and acceptance of the emotion (i.e., show empathy).
Help the child identify and put words to the emotion – verbally label feelings.
Set limits while helping children to problem-solve. Communicate that all wishes and feelings are OK but not all behaviours are OK.
Tuning in to Kids, Sophie Havighurst and Ann Harley (2007)
Gottman, J. M. and J. DeClaire (1997). The heart of parenting: How to raise an emotionally intelligent child. London, Bloomsbury
Dan Siegel: Hand model of the brain
Brain Regions and Functions
Four patterns of responding to children’s emotions
: disapproves or is critical of emotions being expressed (particularly uncomfortable emotions)
: ignores uncomfortable emotions.
: accepts all emotions but fails to place guidance around behaviour.
: values all emotions and helps understand feelings while also guiding behaviour.
Eisenberg et al, 1998;Gottman et al 1997
Parental modelling, parental reactions to emotion expression, discussion of emotions
Family emotional climate
Parental Meta-emotion philosophy (MEP)
the way we think and feel about emotions
comes from our family of origin experience
How does emotional competence develop?
Brainstem (instinctive brain)
breathing, heartbeat, temperature
Midbrain (survival brain)
survival functions such as safety and responses to threats (reflexes, sleep)
Limbic Area (emotional brain)
helps generate feelings and emotions
works together with Brainstem to process the experience of fear, danger and threat in the environment
Cortical Area (thinking brain)
reasoning, planning, anticipating, and predicting, impulse control, Meta-cognition, Meta-emotion
John Gottman's work has informed the
Tuning in to Kids
programme and Emotion Coaching at Bath Spa.
Tuning in to Kids
comes out of a team based in the Mindful Centre for Training and Development in Health, Melbourne University.
Mindfulness or pausing and being in the moment is a core part of this tool.
We integrate mindful sessions from www.Headspace.com into the Emotion Coaching programme.
In pairs think of a time when you had a really tough time parenting your child
Try and describe what happened and what you think went wrong and how you felt afterwards
Feed back to the group
In pairs think of a time when you had a good experience of parenting
Try and describe what happened and why you think it went well
Describe how you felt afterwards
Feed back to the group
As a group discuss the skills you feel you
need to have more of the positive parenting experiences
We will look at this again
The Five Steps of Emotion Coaching
: notice or become aware of emotions
and teach: it's an opportunity
and listen: show understanding and empathy
: what you hear and see. Name the emotions
End with problem solving and setting limits if necessary
Mindful Emotion Coaching
-Learn from the experience of Dr Janet Rose and colleagues at Bath Spa University - Emotion Coaching - a strategy for promoting behavioural self regulation in children/ young people in schools -3 pilot studies
-Work with the tool 'Tuning in to Kids' - see research evaluation within The California Evidence Base Clearing House
helping children and young people to understand the different emotions they experience, why they occur and how to handle them' (Gottman 2007)
What does Emotion Coaching do?
Dissemination of Emotion Coaching techniques to community groups- professionals, young people and parents (Resilience pilot and Wootton Basset pilot)
Rose, McGuire-Snieckus, Gilbert 2014
improved understanding of meta emotion philosophy and adult self- regulation
successful resolution of incidents
improved social and emotional behavior
improvements in collaborative working
Secondary School Teacher
gives a structure which stops staff being drawn in to an emotional situation and teaches the pupil about emotions and helps pupils become gradually more analytical and independent'
Head Teacher- Primary School
' a lot less children are being sent to me because the staff are all working together and using the same approach and it's empowered them to feel like they can deal with the situation as it's not escalating. It seems a lot calmer'
13 year old boy
'When people, like , take the mick out of me, like, in class I'd just get angry and I just hit'em. Now the teacher talks to me and it calms me down - the other kids don't really pick on me now 'cos they know that I don't react.
Reduction in call outs
Reduction in exclusions
Reduction in consequences
Vignettes from an Educational Psychologist
Male student in Year One
- Toby became upset after putting on waterproof trousers. Lindsey tuned in to Toby's emotions and connected. She reflected by saying that he was probably scared because once he had put the trousers on and tried to put his hands in his pockets he wasn't able to which meant he couldn't touch his cars which make him feel better.
Lindsey explained that to go outside with Commando he needs waterproofs.
They worked together to find a solution that would work and Toby slowly one by one put his cars in his jacket pocket
Vignette from an Educational Psychologist
15 year old girl in the Pupil Referral Unit
Rosy is having home tuition because she is too disruptive to learn in school. She is in Foster Care and the placement is stable at present. She has highly sexualised behavior and is emotionally immature. Her SENCo says she can only manage 20 minutes then needs a cigarette
Lindsey tuned in and connected, empathised and validated - together they discussed her feelings about not sleeping well and being tired. They worked together for 2 and a half hours without a break doing some productive educational work around phonation
Time Line for Bath Spa University Pilot Projects
Melksham 0-19 Resilience Project
3 primary, 1 secondary, 1 youth centre, 1 children's centre
including accredited peer mentoring with young people
Wootton Bassett Emotion Coaching
with 1 secondary, 8 primary schools, 3 children's centres
Attachment Aware Schools
- Bath and North East Somerset (B&NES)/ Kate Cairns Associates/
Bath Spa University / Fosse Way Teaching School
First Phase :1 secondary and 5 primary schools
Second Phase: 19 schools including 1 special school and 1 further education college and one
In each of these projects a community multi agency approach has been taken. Emotion coaching is based fundamentally on how we all relate with each other therefore
it works across services
Bath Spa University have pioneered the application of Emotion Coaching
across professional groups in the UK.
Bath Spa University
work with children and young people on empowerment projects
such as Peer Mentoring and In Care,In School (2012)
Professor Sir Al Aynsley-Green
– Paediatrician and first Children’s Commissioner for England and President elect of the British Medical Association
'I am fascinated by the Melksham project since it seeks to achieve much of what I was trying to articulate in my speech ‘Should the nurture of children be everybody’s business?’ and this model is one that I can see has immense implications, if successful, for rolling out into other places.'
Professor John Gottman
– originator of the concept of Emotion Coaching
Please know that you have my total support. I am deeply moved by your work. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.'
Introducing Bath Spa University
Does every child still matter?
Disadvantaged groups and communities
eg ethnic minorities, service families, local areas of deprivation
Voice and agency for children and young people
eg children in care, lesbian and gay young people
Partnership with local agencies and communities
eg emotion coaching, attachment aware schools
Influencing national policies
eg NICE, Institute for Recovery from Childhood Trauma, National College for Teaching and Leadership
Innovative Solutions for
Education, Health, Care and Prison Services
- providing public services that offer
, looking at early interventions that
reduce long term social cost
Working with National Change Programmes
- new SEN Code of Practice
- Working Together 2013
- Person Centred Practice
Dr Sarah Temple
: GP with experience working in CAMHS
Shoba Manro Holly
: Social Worker working in child protection
Structure of sessions
Video Number 3