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The Anatomy of Peace:
Transcript of The Anatomy of Peace:
Resolving the Heart of Conflict
The Change Pyramid
One of the main ideas Yusuf and Avi wanted us to get out of the lessons was to follow the Change Pyramid- deal less with the things that are going wrong and help things go right. This pyramid will eventually lead to the pyramid known as the Peacemaking Pyramid which states actions you do so you can achieve the Change Pyramid.
The Way-of-Being Diagram
Seeing Others' Views
To be able to change ourselves, we need to be able to see others' views. As Avi used as an example, one day he came home and decided to go play tennis with his friend. When he got home, his wife told him to mow the lawn. He told her he had an appointment, but she insisted that he mowed the lawn before he left. Annoyed, he went and mowed the lawn, then went to meet up with his friend. When he got back, his wife was waiting for him. She simply told him he didn't edge and she wanted him to. This made him irritated and mad. It was late and she told him to go edge out in the dark. He unhappily but obediently complied with her request. This results in a cycle. What she does, how he sees it, what he does, and how she sees it. They both viewed each other as objects because they couldn't understand each other's perspectives. You need to know how to see things from a different point of view in order to understand why people do and see things they way they do.
The Choice Diagram
Yusuf uses his own example to sum up this diagram. Mordechai was a homeless Jew who lived on the same street as Yusuf after the Jews invaded the Arabs. Yusuf had no desire to ever interact himself with a Jew. One day, Mordechai spilled his coins. Yusuf's first instinct was to help him. After his thought process came through though, he turned around and didn't help Mordechai. He chose to betray his sense of duty to help Mordechai because of the hatred in his heart for the Jews. Yusuf viewed himself as a victim compared to the homeless beggar because of what Mordechai's people did to his people. He thought the world was unfair and against him. His heart is at war and his choices and actions showed it. Because he chose to do this, he viewed Mordechai as an object. The choices we make in our life reflect our hearts and how we view humans.
The Anatomy of Peace tells a story of a man named Lou, who has troubles in his life. His son, Cory, has been arrested twice- the first time for using drugs, the second time for stealing. Lou's frustration with Cory leads him to coming to a treatment program for Cory to change for the better. The program is known as Camp Moriah. At Camp Moriah, two intelligent men named Yusuf al-Falah and Avi Rozen give the parents of these kids a two day lesson on how to put their heart at peace. Lou was skeptical at first. In fact, he kept arguing and insisting it was pointless and a waste of time. After his wife, Carol, threatens to leave him if he didn't stay with the program, he agrees to stay and learn for the two days. By choosing to stay with the program, Lou has learned a tremendous amount of things to help him resolve his heart of conflict. This program not only allowed Lou to realize what was wrong with him and the way he viewed things, but it also gained him new friends and gave him the motivation and inspiration to change and become a better person.
Avi advises that the first part into changing ourselves to find peace within our hearts is to start seeing humans as people, not objects. He uses his own experiences as an example in the above diagram. When we see human as people, we realize that they are just like us. They have hopes, dreams, passions, and everything we have. When we see them as objects, we see them as if they're a needle in the eye- unwanted, irrelevant, unneeded. We cannot change ourselves if we do not see others as people and as objects. No matter how much hate or discontentment have for someone, you must realize they are still people just as you are.
We often need ways to justify ourselves. We, unknowingly, use different methods to protect and excuse ourselves from the things we do. We call these methods "boxes." There are four common types of boxes.
The Better-Than Box
The I-Deserve Box
The Must-Be-Seen-As Box
The Worse-Than Box
Recovering Inner Clarity and Peace
There are four parts into recovering clarity and peace. First, you must look for signs that you are in a box. This may include things such as feeling the need to blame or justify. Second, find an out-of-the-box place such as good relationships, memories, or activities. Third, try to think of an out-of-the-box perspective and ask questions. Why do you feel the way you feel? How does the other person feel? How has your attitude affect the people and things around you? After you have done these three steps, and have realized your inner conflict, then do what you feel you should do. This will assist you to stay out of the box.
The Peacemaking Pyramid
As mentioned before, the Peacemaking Pyramid helps achieve the Change Pyramid. You must follow the pyramid starting from the bottom and focus mostly on the bottom. Once getting past the bottom is easy, you can move up each level more easily until you reach the Correct level, which is the highest level. When you have reached the Correct level, your heart is rid of conflict.
Why is this Relevant?
This book is relevant to our lives and student government because in order to understand one another, we must see past our differences. Anger does not solve anything. When we are at war with others, we are also at war with ourselves. As leaders, we need to be able to see everyone as people and not objects. For example, commanding others to do something is viewing them as an object. Being rude to each other is also viewing each other as an object because it gives you satisfactory. We don't necessarily need to be fond of everyone, but we definitely need to respect everyone. The school sees us as their leaders, and if their leaders have conflict with others or themselves, it doesn't put a good impression and reputation for the school.