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Transcript of Perfectionism
What effect does perfectionism have on the
body, mind, and relationships?
Why People Become
Perfectionism is not something you can catch, or something you can be born with, but rather
something that is formed.
It is a product of the pressure to strive for success influenced at a young age, for example parents who reward kids for “eager beaver” behavior.
Firstborns are commonly found to show perfectionist tendencies, although not all firstborns are perfectionists.
If you have ever heard of Superkid Syndrome, then you know it is when kids are pressured into getting ahead and staying there. Parents push children at a young age to enroll in various activities, such as sports, music, and academic programs. As parents continue to reward such behavior their kids may become workaholics.
Like the Superkid Syndrome, the Superwoman Syndrome is when women are pushed to achieve everything competently and happily. They are pushed by society to act as those seen on TV who have perfect children, cook an amazing dinner and look polished.
The Media plays a large role in perfectionism by pushing the idea of perfection.
What Perfectionism Does To Your Body
What Perfectionism Does to Your Mind:
With the combination of perfectionism and procrastination, many students turn to drugs and caffeine to stay awake and perform well.
Anorexia and Bulimia have been often found to be a product of perfectionism and those who feel the pressures of society.
Perfectionism can do more to your mind than anything else. Even when your body and relationships are affected, the problem with perfectionism manifests itself in your mind first.
How to Ease Up On Yourself
A Special Message For Girls & Young Women
Type A Behavior
Coined by Drs. Meyer Friedman and Ray H. Rosenman
High blood pressure
In Japan, it is found that two diseases cause children to have a phobia of school and a nervous temperament because of the enormous pressure to succeed. These diseases are found in perfectionist students in the United States.
Women have been raised to be accepting. They will take on a lot of things especially if they are perfectionists. They have to learn how to delegate responsibility to others. They can do this in three steps.
1.Trust the person.
2.They make assignment without you.
3. Accept the consequences.
Which step do you think is the hardest?
Most commonly, they fail on third step and redo what other person did. This leads to burnout because of the added work. Tips to avoid burnout:
1. Learning to say no with meaning.
3. Try copying what men you know do. They tend to decline offers without regret. Men also let out anger and get over something right away while women hold it inside. To avoid this, find ways to let out your feelings.
What are some ways you can let out your anger?
If you strongly agree with a statement (+2)
If you agree somewhat (+1)
Can't decide (0)
Disagree somewhat (-1)
Strongly disagree (-2)
__ 1. I'm critical of people who don't live up to my expectations.
__ 2. I get upset if I don't finish something I start.
__ 3. I do things precisely down to the very last detail.
__ 4. I argue about test scores I don't agree with, even when
they won't affect my final grade.
__ 5. After I finish something I often feel dissatisfied.
__ 6. I feel guilty when I don't finish something I set out to do.
__ 7. When a teacher hands back one of my papers, I look for
mistakes before looking for right answers or positive
__ 8. I compare my test scores with those of other good
students in my class.
__ 9. It's hard for me to laugh at my own mistakes.
__ 10. If I don't like the way I've done something, I start over
and keep at it until I get it right.
What games do you play?
The Numbers Game
Focusing on the Future
Pinning Over the Past
Putting Your Goals First
Getting it Right
Don't Beat Yourself Up
If you are too focused on getting
straight A's, then you are missing the point of success. We all make mistakes, learn from them and apply them to your next challenge.
Many famous people failed along the ways.
All the stress from trying to be perfect all the time can really wear you out, so it's important to learn how to give yourself a break.
Taking chances can lead you to greater success than ever before.
Learn to fail.
When you fail a couple of things happen:
It gives you a new perspective on yourself and everything else you do
It gives you more freedom
It gives you a better understanding of others
It gives you permission to do less-than-your-best at something else.
It teaches you different degrees of accomplishment.
It shows you that not succeeding is normal and necessary.
Learn to laugh.
Perfectionists tend to take things too seriously. Take a second to watch something funny, and more importantly laugh at yourself. We want to avoid being laughed at so much, that we actually tend to make a situation worse than it really is. The next time that you trip on the way into class, laugh it off, and realize that it's OK to not be perfect.
Learning How To Reward Yourself And Savor Success
On your notes, list about 5 success you have made EXCLUDING grades, first places, or best of-s. Then, looking at all of the list, choose one that you think deserves a reward. Brainstorm with your table some rewards you might want.
What Perfectionism Does to Your Relationships
Sometimes perfectionists don't take time to savor their successes and have a habit of doing one thing after another.
There is also a problem among perfectionists with the inability to relax. Here are a few ways to relax:
Listen to soothing music.
READING FOR PLEASURE.
Perfectionists usually search for a perfect partner when it comes to their relationships. Try to stop judging outside characteristics and begin to start looking at their personality.
It’s 11pm, you have a paper due tomorrow on the Civil War, and you have even finished the first sentence. We have all been there. The question is; how do you make sure you don’t end up here again?
How to Gain Control Over Your Life
How to Get Help
Perfectionism sometimes leads to the thought of suicide. If you have found yourself in the predicament, please call one one the following numbers.
Elliott, Miriam, Pamela Espeland, and Caroline Price. Perfectionism: What's Bad about Being Too Good. Minneapolis, MN: Free Spirit Pub., 1987. Print.
"Google Images." Google Images. N.p., n.d. Web. 24 Sept. 2013.
How To Get Others To Ease
Up On You
Parents of perfectionists are very pushy when it comes to achieving. They have high expectations and/or want their child not to make the same mistakes they did. If you are in this situation, run an anti-perfectionism campaign to stop it. Basically, you tell your parents you don't want them to be so pushy and expecting.
You and you group think of three things to remember if you were running this campaign.
During your campaign you should remember to:
1. Never underestimate your parents- They most likely will be willing to compromise if you talk to them politely and educate them on perfectionism if necessary.
2. Be ready to compromise- Negotiate a plan that will satisfy both parties.
3. Stay calm- They will listen better if you are calm and polite.
Perfectionists usually criticize others because they are not “perfect.” Parents can make this predicament worse by wanting their children to have friends who have no faults.
To make sure you stick to your word, make a contract for yourself and sign it. While completing your project remember; it does not have to be perfect.
As you already know, perfectionists are usually procrastinators. This can change! all you have to do is break your project/paper up into to bite sized pieces, and set a due date for each section.
What's Bad About Being Too Good?