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Krystal Jacobon 21 October 2013
Transcript of Assertiveness
the ability to 1) say “no” to others, 2) express personal opinions and feelings appropriately, 3) request things from others, & 4) take the other person’s feelings into account
What is it?
What it is not:
: Standing up for your own rights
while ignoring the feelings and
rights of others
: Violating own rights by not expressing
true feelings and beliefs
: Indirectly resistant and
The Benefits of
What is assertiveness and
why would you want to be
assertive? Watch this video
How to be More Assertive
Does not respect other’s rights
Stands up for own rights without violating other’s rights
Denies own rights
Indirectly resists influence of others
Resources on the Web
Centre for Confidence and Well-Being:
Psychology Tools: Assertiveness:
The Importance of Assertiveness:
How to be
1. Select the appropriate moment
2. Speak in the first person, using “I” instead of “you” statements
3. Avoid blaming
4. Really listen to the other person
5. Know what you want
6. Do not apologize
7. Remain calm
8. Think positively about the results
9. Use confident body language
A short and a longer video with tips on being assertive.
What Gets In the Way?
1. Fear of rejection
2. Taking too much responsibility
3. Not knowing what we want
4. Thinking that other's needs are more important than ours
5. Lacking skills
Have you ever had a friend ask you for a favor that you didn't want to do, but they kept pushing for you to do?
When to be Assertive:
1. Needing help academically
2. Being over-extended at work
3. Making requests and asking for favors
4. Refusing others' requests
5. Addressing problems or things that bother you