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Narrative & Descriptive writing - yr 10

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Timothy Yeaes

on 18 December 2018

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Transcript of Narrative & Descriptive writing - yr 10

'May she wake in torment!' he cried, with frightful vehemence, stamping his foot, and groaning in a sudden paroxysm of ungovernable passion. 'Why, she's a liar to the end! Where is she? Not THERE - not in heaven - not perished - where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer - I repeat it till my tongue stiffens - Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you - haunt me, then! The murdered DO haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts HAVE wandered on earth. Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! only DO not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I CANNOT live without my life! I CANNOT live without my soul!'

He dashed his head against the knotted trunk; and, lifting up his eyes, howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast being goaded to death with knives and spears.
The poulterers' shops were still half open, and the fruiterers' were .....1........ in their glory. There were great round, .......2.... baskets of chestnuts, shaped like the waistcoats of ..........3.......... lolling at the doors, and tumbling out into the street in their ...........4........ opulence. There were ruddy, brown-faced, broad-girthed Spanish Onions, .......5....... in their fatness of their growth like Spanish Friars; and winking from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they went by, and glanced ......6..... at the hung-up mistletoe. There were pears and apples, clustered high in ..... 7 .......; there were bunches of grapes, made, in the shopkeepers' benevolence to dangle from conspicuous hooks, that people's mouths might water gratis as they passed; there were piles of filberts, mossy and brown, recalling, in their.......8......., ancient walks among the woods, and pleasant shufflings ankle deep through withered leaves; there were Norfolk Biffins, squab and swarthy, setting off the yellow of the oranges and lemons, and, in the great compactness of their juicy persons, urgently entreating and beseeching to be carried home in paper bags and eaten after dinner. The blended ......9....... of tea and coffee were so grateful to the nose and other spices so delicious, the candied fruits so caked and spotted with ....10... sugar as to make the coldest lookers-on feel faint and subsequently bilious.
Identify comment on the effect created by the
poetic techniques
in this passage. (what do we learn about his character?)
can you identify from this passage?
Lesson Objectives:

Develop your range of descriptive language.

Recap on what constitutes effect writing.

Use these techniques in my own creative writing.
Success Criteria - have you achieved the following aspects in your writing?

Presentation is neat & spelling is correct.

I have described the setting and clearly mentioned when/where it happened and who was involved.

I have used effective adjectives and emotive language.

I have used poetic techniques.

I have written about the 5 senses.

I have explored my emotions at the time
My narrative is written from a specific moment in time.
What images can you identify from this passage?
Continue with your story for 10 more minutes
The walls and ceiling were so hung with living green, that it looked a ........1........; from every part of which, bright gleaming berries .......2.......... The crisp leaves of holly, mistletoe, and ivy reflected back the light, as if so many little ........3....... had been scattered there; and such a mighty blaze went ....4..... up the chimney. Heaped up upon the floor, to form a kind of throne, were turkeys, geese, game, poultry, brawn, great joints of meat, sucking-pigs, long .........5........ of sausages, mince-pies, plum-puddings, barrels of oysters, red-hot chestnuts, ........6............. apples, ..........7........ oranges, ..........8.......... pears, immense twelfth-cakes, and .............9........ bowls of punch, that made the chamber dim with their ..........10........ steam.
Fill in the blanks with effective language.
This person feels..........
the spirit raised a frightful cry, and shook its chain with such a dismal and appalling noise, Scrooge fell upon his knees, and clasped his hands before his face.

"Mercy!" he said. "Dreadful apparition, why do you trouble me?"

Again the spectre raised a cry, and shook its chain and wrung its shadowy hands.

"You are fettered," said Scrooge, trembling. "Tell me why?"

"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost.

"I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?"

Scrooge trembled more and more.
I can use effective
poetic techniques
and write about the
5 senses
Cliff's Christmas Images
Pretend you are Scrooge
If Christmas was a flavour it would be.....
Lesson Objectives:

Develop your range of Descriptive and Emotive Language.

Effectively incorporate Emotive Language within your own writing.
What adjectives best describe this scene?
If you had to write a narrative about this scene; what would the title be, what would happen & what characters would there be?
Put yourself in this man's place.
Write a 10 line description of what he is experiencing!
Write between 5 - 10 lines describing the room your in.
New Unit - Descriptive & Narrative Writing.
Learning Objectives:
Identify what makes a good story.

Use adjectives effectively.

Create your own character.
Gold Fish Bowl.
What is your favorite film?
Why is it such a good story?

Shaun, Kyle, Niall & Josh
What makes a good story?
The walls are............
The windows are.............
The teachers are ..............
The ceiling is .................
The atmosphere is ...............

Finish off the sentence with effective adjectives.
I can hear.....
I can smell.....
I can feel.....
I can taste.......
I can see ..........
Use all of your senses when writing....
Use a simile to describe these tastes and smells.
This sweet tastes like...

This scent smells like...
Go off to any part of the school and sit down.

Close your eyes and write down 5-8 lines about what you can....
Learning Objectives:
Describe a scene using the 5 senses.

Use a simile when describing something.


blooming pyramids
jolly old gentlemen


What novel is this passage taken from?
What adjectives are there?

What poetic techniques are there?

Draw an image of this scene.
Learning Objectives:
Find adjectives and similes in a text.

Identify the imagery created by the writer.

Create an opening paragraph to a story.
What makes this good opening to a story?
What adjectives best describe Scrooge & his Nephew?

What simile is used to Scrooge?
What is an adjective?

What is a simile?

Give examples for both.
Create your own character.
Write the 5-10 lines of story of your own.
What makes this an effective piece of writing?

What images are left in your mind?
Learning Objectives:
Understand Assessment Expectations for next 2 units.

Explain effective aspects of a descriptive text.

Use a range of effective techniques in your own writing.
Dates of your OMAM assessment next week:
Wednesday 28th, p.2
Thursday 29th, p.5
This afternoon - practice question.
Tomorrow we will create notes page.
You have 10 minutes.
Go and find a place totally secluded from anyone else and capture what you can HEAR, SMELL, FEEL (& TASTE).
Select a novel of your choice from my book shelf/cupboard (OMAM if you're stuck).

Find a descriptive piece of writing (scene). Explain why it is so effective. (Does it refer to the 5 senses? Does the author use poetic techniques?)
Extension Task: To be completed for H/W
Write something about one of your classmates using an adjective.

...using a poetic technique (Simile or Alliteration)

Miss Rutter is very ..............................................
Write down the descriptions of what you hear and stick them to the image.
Find adjectives and similes within a text.

Explain what makes an effective start to a story.

Write an engaging opening to a story.
Learning Objectives:
It is impossible to say how first the idea entered my brain. He had never wronged me. He had never given me insult. For his money I had no desire. I think it was his eye! yes, it was this! He had the eye of a vulture --a pale blue eye, with a film over it. Whenever it fell upon me, my blood ran cold, &--very gradually --I made up my mind to take the life of the old man, and thus rid myself of the eye forever.
Why is this a good opening to a story?
Success Criteria:
Explain who is talking about what in the scene.
Explain how the characters feel & why.
Explore the different moods of the scene.
Comment on when an atmosphere changes.
Explain how mood is created through sentence structure & Punctuation.
Grammar, spelling and punctuation is correct.
Comments are continually supported by quotes.
layout of essay is in clear paragraph form.
How does Steinbeck use language to create mood & atmosphere in this passage. (pps 84 - 89)
Learning Objectives:
Use correct spelling, punctuation & grammar in your writing.

Explore a range of moods across a text. B

Analyse Steinbeck's use of syntax and punctuation to create mood. A


Success Criteria for Descriptive Writing:
Learning Objectives:
Select relevant quotes and key words.

Improve creative writing skills.

Develop peer assessment skills.
With the use of your exercise books, OMAM texts & success criteria...
Create an A4 prompt sheet page of notes & quotes.
'Bath at Christmas' or 'London in the Snow'
Look at the example of a notes page!
Learning Objectives:
Use an adjective to describe a character's feelings.

Find words used to describe a character.

Create your own character.
This person feels.................
They feel this way because....
Show me how this person is feeling angry.
They feel this way because......
They feel this way because......
Select any literary character.... (e.g. Curley's Wife)
Personal History:
What motivates them:
Draw them
Examine how Steinbeck uses the characters in this passage to reflect the theme of 'the dream'.
Learning Objectives:
Complete A4 notes page.

Explore the aspects of an effective character.

Develop your descriptive writing skills.
Learning Objectives:
Describe what you can see, hear, smell & feel.

Write an outline to a story.

Use similes, alliteration, metaphors & onomatopoeia to describe what you can see.
Man's name
Woman's name
Where they met
What she said to him
What he said to here
What became of their relationship
Write your story out in more detail... in 20 mins!!!
Describe what the man/woman was like....
(Height, looks, hair, eyes etc...)

Describe what the scene was like where they met....(
write about the 5 senses)

How did the man/woman sound when they spoke?

Give your story a title.
What do they like/dislike?

What do they say about Christmas?
Checklist for descriptive writing.

include adverbs ( -ly words)
include good adjectives (describing words).
used the correct sentence structure.
used interesting colours.
used effective similes.
use personification
referred to what I can smell, see and hear.
written what is above, beneath, near and far away etc.
written in the 3rd person (.... can be seen, not I can see)
spelling, punctuation & grammar is correct.
Essay is layed-out in paragraphs.
Have written enough comments for the amount of marks available
All comments are supported with quotes.
Explained how sentence structure & punctuation reflects emotion.
Explored the different aspects of Kotler's character.
Explained how Kolter makes Bruno feel.
Commented on Bruno & Shmuel's first impression of each other.
Summarized the key moments in their relationship.
Explained what Boyne's message is to the reader.
Success Criteria
Write one comment on what was done well & one area for improvement.
Learning Objectives:
Develop assessment skills

Use effective adjectives & poetic techniques in your writing.

Refer to the 5 senses in your description.
To the red gra orchard...
Spend 3 mins absorbing the scene and write about the following............
What you can SEE, SMELL, FEEL, TASTE? & HEAR.
"I can smell the scent of................................... it smells like.................................
Why is this a good example of Descriptive writing?
Goldfish Bowl
What creative writing did you do at Maiden Beech/ Swanmead?
Why is self & peer assessment important?
Learning Objectives:
Explain the significance of self/peer assessment

Identify effective aspects of a descriptive text.

Use poetic techniques, adjectives & 5 senses in your own writing.
What makes this such a good piece of descriptive writing.......
Assess Mr Dickens.....
Year 10 Assessments:
Of Mice & Men
Descriptive/Narrative Writing (Feb)
Spoken Language Study (April)
Shakespeare (June)
Explain what you can see, hear, feel.

What emotions are you feeling and why?

What has the ghost said to you?
Draw it...
What is so effective about the opening to these narratives...
What is your favorite narrative & why?
Novel, Drama, Poem, Film, Short-Story, Song etc...
What makes these texts effective & engaging openings to narratives...
Create your own opening paragraph to a narrative...
Select one and explore the effective aspects of it....
What things can you see.

What colours can you
Pretend you are a guest at Fezziwig's Christmas party.
What can you see?

Who is there?

What colours can you see?

What can you smell?

What an you hear?

What can you taste?

How do you feel?
Describe what you can see....
Learning Objectives:
Describe scene, writing about the 5 senses.

Use interesting adjectives & poetic techniques in your writing.

Explain the atmosphere of a scene.
- Adjectives? - Poetic Techniques?
- Punctuation? -Syntax? -Structure? -Imagery? -Type of Narrator? -Engagining & Interesting event? -Cliff Hanger?
-Characters? - Speech?
Learning Objectives:

Develop your creative writing skills

Identify effective aspects of descriptive and narrative writing.
list down
Pretend you are one of the party guests.
Write 15-20 lines describing the scene......
Discuss & Explain what makes these text effective openings to narratives...
Discuss & Explain what makes these text effective openings to narratives...
Learning Objectives:
Refer to the 5 senses in your descriptive writing.

Incorporate a range of poetic techniques in your work.

Structure a simple a narrative.
Say what you see...
(God I love this story!)
What makes this an interesting narrative structure?
Explain how a writer creates tension & engages the audience.

Incorporate effective descriptive writing in your narrative.

Structure your narrative in an engaging way.
Learning Objectives
What narrative is this from?

Who wrote it?

Summarize the plot in a paragraph.
How Orwell create tension & suspense?
How does Orwell engage the reader through his writing?
Christmas Day at Scrooge's Nephew's house.
1. Who is at the party?
2. What 5 things are used to describe Scrooge's niece?
3. What is Scrooge's nephew called?
4. Who does Topper fancy?
5. What game do they play?
6. What sort of character is Scrooge's nephew?
7. What is the atmosphere at the party?
Pretend you are a guest at Scrooge's nephew's Party.
As I entered the room........
I can hear...

I can see....

People were playing...

The atmosphere was...
I want to hear your narratives...
List down as many literary characters as you can....
What ingredients does a writer need to create an effective character?
HOW... does Nick Hornby create the character of Will Freeman in this passage?
What is he in the process of doing?
What is revealed about his character to the reader, through he writer's use of language?
Create your own character in half a page.
Learning Objectives:
Identify aspects of an effective character.
Explain how a writer creates a character.
Craft an effective character.
Learning Objectives
Correct your spelling mistakes by looking them up in a dictionary.
Practice Assessment:
Write a description for one of the following scenes...
A crowded beach in summer..

A busy train station.

A playground at lunchtime.
What is the most significant moment of your life - that you can remember?
(Best, Worst or Proud?)
Learning Objectives:
Presentation is neat & spelling is correct.
Described the setting.
Effective use of perspective & colours.
Clearly explained when/where it happened and who was involved.
Use adjectives and emotive language.
Used poetic techniques.
Referred to the 5 senses.
Explored my emotions at the time.
Narrative is written from a specific moment in time.
Emotion is captured through varied use of syntax and punctuation.
Success Criteria - have you achieved the following aspects in your writing?
Write for one minute, non-stop, about exactly what is going through you head.
Stream of conscious thought
Free association
Write about the most significant moment in your life.
Mind map the best/worst moment in your life.
What has been the best or worst moment in your life?
Describe the sweet in front of you.
1.What colour is it?
2.What shape/size is it?
3.What pattern is on it?
4.What does it smell like?
You cant say "chocolate" or "brown"
5. Describe the taste using a simile, metaphor or alliteration.
Scene at a busy train station
1. What noises can they hear?

2. What colours do they mention?

3. What two people does she focus on?

4. What smells can she hear?

5. What good adjectives does she use?

6. What poetic techniques are used?

7. What spelling mistakes are there?
Describe what you can see in a scene.

Explain what you can smell and taste.

Use similes in your writing.
Learning Objectives:
Spring Term.
Next Month - Narrative/Expressive & Descriptive Writing /20 /20

End of Term - Spoken Language Study.
Describe these colours...
Without using the words red, yellow, black or blue
Create better words for...





In love
Learning Objectives:
Understand c/w expectations for the term.

Extend vocabulary concerning colours & emotions.

Create a piece of expressive writing.
Write 600 -800 words exploring the most significant moment in your life. Complete for H/W (Wednesday)
Learning Objectives:
Assess effective aspects of descriptive language.

Explore a range of descriptive writing.

Incorporate effective aspects of descriptive writing in your own work.
Describe a scene at a busy beach.
Title options for Descriptive Writing:
a. The scene in a busy park.

b. The scene at the beginning of a charity race.

c. The scene in a busy toy shop.

d. The scene in a lively street

e. The scene in a college or school dining hall.
1. Describe the different colours you can see without using...
Scene at a beach.
Learning Objective:
Develop your Descritptive Writing Skills.
Explore what .

Use simile, metaphor, alliteration and onomatopoeia.
Desrcibe what is happening in this scene?
Starter Question.
Re-write these words using more figurative language.
"all the people lay on their towels sunbathing in an attempt to get a nice tan."

"As I stand here I can see people eating delicious ice-creams."

"You could taste the smell of salty fish & chips."

"Golden Sand"
Learning Objectives:
Identify how to improve your writing.

Improve your use of descriptive language.

Create a plan for your controlled assessment title.
Re-write a line from your peers' piece of work.
figures like outstretched statues soak up the warmth allowing their torsos to turn to a bewitched buttery gold.
Write at least half a page describing this scene
Without using the words BIRD SEAGULL or FISH & CHIPS.
Describe these pictures.
The Power of Punctuation& Syntax
Dear ,

I want a man who knows what love is all
about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful.
People who are not like you admit to being
useless and inferior. You have ruined me for
other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings
whatsoever when we're apart. I can be
forever happy - will you let me be yours?

How does Jill Feel towards Jack?
Change the Jill's feelings by keeping her words the same and changing the punctuation.
Dear Jack,

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Incorporate aspects of effective descriptive writing in your own work.
Learning Objective:
I can hear....
The crowd is like a.....
HOW has PARKER achieved aspects of the SUCCESS CRITERIA?

1.. Exciting and interesting storyline.
2.. Engaging opening.
3. Interesting character (s)
4. Vivid and descriptive place setting.
5. Build up of tension towards the end.
6. Twist in the tale.
7. Uses of a range of punctuation and sentences to create effect.
8. Intersting structure of events.
9.Use of Dramatic Irony/Pathetic Fallacy
10 Use of dual perspective.
Story Time
C/B - B/A - A/A*
Examples of Narratives
Create a narrative that contains dramatic irony.
I can see/hear/smell... it looks, smells, sounds like...
Write the first 3 lines of a description
Assessment Date:
Wednesday 30th January.

p. 2 & p. 5
Peer Assessment.
Exchange your practice descriptions with a friend.

Highlight the effective points of their work.

Suggest a word or sentence that could be written more effectively.
Titles for Narrative/Expressive Writing.
1. The Cheat
2. The Coming Storm
3. Write a story beginning with the words: 'I knew it was the last time I would see her/him.'
4. Write a story ending with the words ...'and that was my most memorable holiday.'
5. The Gift
6. The Betrayal
7. Coming Home.
8. 'That is it,' he/she hit the delete key.
9. Last lesson of the Afternoon.
10. Write a story beginning with the words: 'if there was one thing he/she hated, it was looking after other people's children.
11. Write about a time when you lost something of importance.
12. Write a story beginning with the following: 'I slammed the door as I dashed out...'
13. Write a story that ends ....'there was no chance I could pass the examination now.'
14. Write about a time when you were forced into doing somethingthat you really didn't want to do.
15. Write about a time when something you had carefully planned did not work out as expected.
Learning Objective:
Plan and create a narrative.
What sort of genre is your narrative going to be...
Comedy Horror Thriller Adventure Love Tragedy etc.
Choose one of the following titles...
1. The Cheat.

2. The Coming Storm.

3. The Gift.

4. The Betrayal.

5. Coming Home.

6. Write a story when you lost something important to you.
Today you write you own narrative....
Suggest Improvements:
Don't use these words -

Spelling Mistakes -

Repeated words/phrases.


Nouns without adjectives/adverbs.

Generalizations, Lists & Cliches.
Dramatic Irony Time...
Narrative/Story Writing
In one paragraph describe what is happening in this scene...
The man approached and stood next to his victim...
Understand the different parts to a story.
Learning Objectives:
What your story needs...
An engaging opening
An interesting storyline
Good description of your surroundings
Explain the emotions of your character.
Use different punctuation.
Use good adjectives, colours and similes.
Tell me what is happening in this picture?
How does she feel?

Now show me...

"Big tear drops slide down her cheek and drop off her chin."

Tell me what's happening...
Show me...
Shannon can you pass me my book please.

The phone rang and all I could do was wait.

Words to describe the way people speak...
"I am afraid it's bad news", said mum, .......................

"It's over, I think we should see other people", she said, her voice was .............................

Learning Objectives:
Write about a character's emotions using sophistocated language.

Write from different viewpoints.

Improve your range of punctuation.
Oh God! No! I can take it anymore...
} don't use
would the following description getWhat grade wouy
Write a paragraph describing this scene. (10 mins)
"The crisp London leaves pirouetted in the brisk October breeze"
Use a poetic technique to describe a scene that you saw during half term...
Self Assessment:

My descriptive writing has improved because...
references to the senses (sight, smell, sound, touch & taste).
describe colours. (Don't use black, white, grey etc)
good adjectives
sense of perspective. (close, far away, above or below.)
don't use "I can..." (the scent of, the melody of)
reference to the time of day, year & season.
use of effective simile & metaphor to describe things.
What story is this?

What happens in it?

Lesson Objective: Improve you descriptive writing skills.
How does this passage engage the reader?
Describe this scene without using the following words:
"I can, see, people, station, train, blue, white, floor, roof, smell or hear"
The ^ train station was
with ^
rushing around the ^ platform ^ly. *Some
at the ^ timetable displays ^ly
for their traintimes. *The ^ hands of the ^ clock told the
that it was half 5 in the ^ afternoon.

^ = insert adjective
^ly = insert adverb
* = insert perspective word
Change word

The people
were ^ like
busy bees
bustling as if
there was no tomorrow
Lesson Objective: Improve your variety of nouns, adverbs& adjectives in your writing
= insert an extra word.

= change to a better word.
Improve you Redgra/Beach/Station
Descriptive Writing - Create a question to ask someone about this scene...
Scene at a busy bus stop.
Scene as you enter a music or sports venue.
Scene at a street market.
Scene at an airport terminal.
Planning your practice description...
choose a title.

What airport, market, street, bus stop, venue is it? (Glastonbury, Heathrow, School, Wembley etc...)

list down what you can see in the distance, overhead, up close, left & right.

What can you hear, smell, touch & taste.
Lesson Objective: Improve your use of simile, personification & 3rd person
Name the City, buildings, bridge & river in this scene.
Big Ben

Westminster Bridge

Houses of Parliament

River Thames



Sky & Weather

The person
Write a description of this scene
Describe these 7 colours without using these words
The Snow ^ the grounds

The ^ clock tower stands ^ly

The sky is ^

Lesson Objective:
Incorporate simile, metaphor & personification into your writing as well as effective use of colour.
Describe this scene in half a page of writing.
What is your favorite Food or Drink?
Lesson Objective:
Develop your descriptive writing skills.

Describe the smell of the liquid, gas or solid on your table...
Find a partner and look into their eyes...

Describe the colour of their eyes, as well as their hair...
Choose one of the following scenes to describe...

scene in a busy restuarant
scene at a sports venue
scene at a school prom or Disco.
1. What can be seen, heard, smelt, tasted etc...
2. Perspective - where are these smells, sounds & sights? (close, far, near, above, below, adjacent, parallel etc)
3. adjectives and substandard/repeated language.
4. What colours are present?
5. what are the sights, sounds, smells like?
6. use metaphor & personification?
7. Focussed detail of individuals (e.g. a conversation a couple are having or a dancind couple)

Improve your work...
Banned words
a lot
Create a how, what, how or why question to ask a peer about this image
Each person selects a section of this scene and describe it using personification, metaphor or simile.
Lesson Objective:
Describe a character & identify the key events in a narrative.
Complete your description for H/W
Describe this man in one paragraph using colour, adjective & either metaphor, simile or personification
engaging opening
exciting plot
interesting characters
good structure e.g. twist
vivid descriptions
effective setting(s)
rich benefactor
Miss Havisham
social climber
Bentley Drummle
Stopped Clocks
gentleman's club
Kent marshes

Description of characters' emotions.


Twist in the tale

Tension and suspense?

What different types of sentence & puctuation are used?
Why is this scene engaging?
Lesson Objective: Describe specific aspects of a scene in acute detail.
Select one part of this scene and describe it in detail.
Write one general description

Focus in on one particular individual or specific aspect

The deep bass of the speaker cones pummelled the tortured air infront of it...

I could feel the turf under my feet harden as the crowd compacted it to concrete...
Lesson Objective: Improve your use of descriptive language
Write a general description of this scene (e.g.the sight or sound of the crowd or stage)

Focus in on a particular detail (e.g. an individual dancing or the expression of the drummer on stage or the banner etc)
Clear your mind of everything - you will write constantly for 1 min about a scene alternating between 1st & 3rd person.
The real thing...

a. Describe a school assembly on the first day in September

b. Describe the scene on a school bus

c. Describe the scene at a busy crossroads

d. Describe the scene on the first day of the January sales

e. Describe the scene at a fireworks' display
Spelling, punctuation & grammar are correct.
Reference is made to the 5 senses. Smell, touch, taste & sound.
A range of similes, metapors and personification are used to create vivid imagery.
A sophisticated range of adjectives is employed.
No narrative & DON'T USE "I", "Me" or "My".
Good perspective. (e.g. foreground, parrallel, adjacent & background).
Good Reference to colour.
Allusion to time/date.
Range of punctuation and sentences.
Focuses in on detail the scene.
Describe this scene...
Describe this scene
Scene at a wedding reception - what springs into mind....?
Give a general overview of the scene e.g. the sound of the congregation or movement of the people on dancefloor, etc...

1. List everything in your scene -
guests, tables, food, music, dj, band dance floor, marquee..
. etc

2. Pick the most prominant feature in your scene - what is
above, below, adjacent, parallel, nea, far away from it?

3. Put an adjective infront of each noun - "
gyrating dancers"

4. Put an adverb after each noun - "
gyrating dancers move violently

5. Select a phrase and create a simile - "
gyrating dancers move violently like a worm in bleech"

6. Selcet a smell or a sound and use personification to describe it - "
The anthemic chorus seduced the coy guests to the irresistable dancefloor"

What is the most
Lesson Obejctive: structure your description of a scene.

a. Write a story that begins... Mum & Dad shouted up the stairs, "Come down here now!"

b. Write about a time you felt embarrassed

c. The School Reunion.

d. Write a story that ends with the words: How wrong he was.

e. The Interview
Gothic Character Quiz - who are they & why were they given these names?
1. 2. 3.
Create names for these great literary heorines...
When Farmer Oak smiled, the corners of his mouth spread till they were within an unimportant distance of his ears, his eyes were reduced to chinks, and diverging wrinkles appeared round them, extending upon his countenance like the rays in a rudimentary sketch of the rising sun.

His Christian name was Gabriel, and on working days he was a young man of sound judgment, easy motions, proper dress, and general good character. His intellect & emotions were clearly seperated, he had a quiet modesty and he was at the brightest period of masculine growth. In sho he was twenty-eight, and a bachelor.

On a mild December morning, on the track a downward sloping ridge into Emminster, he saw a young attractive woman whom had lost control of her horse and waggon.
What does the reader learn about the main character from this opening passage?
'Far from the Madding Crowd'
Thomas Hardy
Success Criteria for a Narrative
Lesson Objective: Understand the aspects of successful story and how to craft an effective character
What do you need in order to create an amazing...
H/W - find a 50-100 word description of a character and list down all of the things the reader learns about them.
ob, Physical Description,
Personality, Marital Status etc...
What's your favorite narrative&why?
Horror Thriller Comedy Romance?
I said. ‘She lies with a sweet smile on her face; and her latest ideas wandered back to pleasant early days. Her life closed in a gentle dream—may she wake as kindly in the other world!’
‘May she wake in torment!’ he cried, with frightful vehemence, stamping his foot, and groaning in a sudden paroxysm of ungovernable passion. ‘Why, she’s a liar to the end! Where is she? Not there—not in heaven—not perished—where? Oh! you said you cared nothing for my sufferings! And I pray one prayer—I repeat it till my tongue stiffens—Catherine Earnshaw, may you not rest as long as I am living; you said I killed you—haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always—take any form—drive me mad! only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I cannot live without my soul!’
He dashed his head against the knotted trunk; and, lifting up his eyes, howled, not like a man, but like a savage beast being goaded to death with knives and spears.
The Narrator is describing Heathcliff's reaction to his lover's (Cathy Earnshaw) death. The couple had a turbulent & passionate relationship.
What does the reader learn about the Character's emotions from the language & syntax in this passage?
What does the reader learn about this character from the opening to this novel?





Love-life/ Previous BFs
Describe this character & what has happened to them to make them feel this way. (approx 50 words)
Create your own character (50 words)
H/W -Create a tension graph for next Weds.
on tinterweb read either:
"The Sniper" - Liam O Flagherty
"The Landlandy" - Roald Dahl
"The Tell-Tale Heart" - Edgar Allan Poe
"The Masque of the Red Death - Edgar Allan Poe
or a short story of your choice...
Back Story
Lesson Objectives:
- Create an effective Character & an engaging opening to a narrative.
-Sentence length
-Description of Character Behaviour

10 points
Lesson Objective:
Create an engaging opening to a narrative using a range of sentences & punctuation.
Create 2 engaging openings to a story...
1 Word & 1 sentence
! "______" - , . ?
To improve my character description/opening paragraph I need to:
Use a variety of sentences
Use a wider range of punctuation ! , .... ? - .
incorporate "speech or dialogue"
give my character a back-story or motivation
describe the appearance and emotions
Create vivid imagery using descriptive writing techniques (e.g.reference to senses, adjectives/adverbs etc...)
Dramatic Irony
Lesson Objective:

Plan & structure your narrative events.
- writing an offensive text whilst the person is watching...

- Write the differing interior monologues of a couple on a date.
Narrative Writing
In approximately 20-50 words descibe this scene...
Lesson Objective: Improve your descriptive writing
2. What is in the distance, above, below, close, adjacent, underneath?
I can see...
I can hear....
I can smell....
3. It smells/sounds/looks/feels like......
The wind ^s my face/nose.

H/W - select a scene of your chosing and write a 300 word description of that scene (not a story)
Peer Assessment:

use of colours
sense of perspective - (where things are -above, below etc)
use of adjectives (describing words)
use of adverbs ( -ly words)
explain what you can hear, smell and feel
use of similes
use of personification
physcial description
The setting
How she feels and why.
Descibe this character (150 words)
Lesson Objective: Identify aspects of an effective character
The ^ candles

Above, the ^ chandelier hung ^-ly like a

The ^ cobwebs ^-ed
^ mirror

Her ^ dress was the colour of ....

Miss Havisham's dress, hair, eyes, hands, skin & face.

The chandelier, mirror, dressing table, candles.

smell & sounds

What has happened to her to make her behave in such a way.

Where everything is in relation to Miss Havisham (above, below, adjacent etc...)

the scene using effective adjectives, adverbs, simile, metaphor or personification.

To improve I need to describe...
Lesson Objective:
Create a comedic short story using dramatic irony.
Create you own dramatic irony story.

3rd person narrative describing something about to happen to someone that they are unaware of.

Conversation/text message that is being watched/overheard.

A moment of silence between two people but their interior monologues are narrated

Write an opening paragraph to this potential story...
Write an ending to this potential story...
1. How many buses are?
2. What other red vehicle is there?
3. What shop is on the right?
4. What colour are the traffic lights?
5. What season is it?
6.What is the man in the foreground doing whilst crossing?
7. What month is it?
8. How do we know it's this month?
9. What is the number of the bus driving away?
10 what is the destination of the approaching bus?
1. 3
2. van
3. GAP
4. red
5. winter
6. on his phone
7. November/December
8. Xmas Decorations
9. 23
10. Oxford Circus
H/W - for mon 21st

In SPaG book complete plural - suffixes (1-8)


egg shell
How else could you describe these colours?
think of metals, stones & food/drink
Grey Black
What spelling mistakes have been made?

How could this candidate improve their work?

What aspects of the success criteria have they attempted?

What mark/ grade would you give it?
What aspects of the success criteria have been achieved?

What grade would you give it?
distant sea
near sea
Scene at a Beach
Success Criteria - Self/Peer Assessment
you have / you need to
My work has improved because I have.....
insert a human quality
The Spires of Parliament look like

The side of Westminster Bridge looks like.....
In the distance I can see the pointed spires of Westminster which look like stalagmites. I can feel the crisp sharp air bite my nose. I can smell the odours from the poluted Thames. I can hear the far off sound of traffic.
Change this from 1st person into 3rd person
I can see = can be seen

H/W for next Friday.

Write an opening paragraph to a story based on this image. (50 -100 words)
Description of setting: where it is, weather & time date.
Who is there and what is happening.
leave the audience hooked.
use different sentence lengths.
Refer to sound
How does this girl feel & why? What might have happened to her?
What question springs to mind when you see this image?
Write a description of this character? (Approximately 50-100 words)
What might have happened to this woman?
describe her face in detail. (tears, face, hair, body language)
describe how old she is?
describe how she feels?
explainwhy she feels this way?
explain what might have happened to her?
explore what she is thinking?
explain what is she looking at?
insert better adjectives or adverbs.
change lame words

H/W mark your answers so far in your SPAG book.
make corrections in a different colour.

Answer questions from pages 10-20.
What has happened to this character?
Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grindstone, Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his posture; made his eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his grating voice. A frosty rime was on his crinkled head, and on his eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He carried his own low temperature always about with him; he iced his office in the summer; and didn't thaw it one degree at Christmas.
External heat and cold had little influence on Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather chill him.

MARLEY was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. The register of his burial was signed by the undertaker, and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it. Old Marley was as dead as a door-nail.There is no doubt that Marley was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going to relate.
What can you see in this scene?
Very happy happy neutral sad really sad
euphoric ecstatic in love thoughtful relaxed bored lazy confused sad lonely annoyed jealous guilty greedy angry depressed
Midterm Assessment - write an engaging part of a narrative based on one of these images.
H/W - select an engaging passage from a story and label the effective aspects of it. due on Thurs 4th Dec
^ = insert adjective before noun

^^ = inset adverb after noun (-ly word)

= change word

P = perspective word ( above, overhead, parallel etc)

spelling error

Xmas H/W Explore the effective aspects of this narrative:

dramatic events

What might they be discussing?

What might each one be thinking?
"............................" said the man ...-ly, as he thought to himself .........

"..................." replied the woman ....-ly as she thought .....
H/W - complete SPAG booklet until p.30 - mark the ones you got correct & put corrections in a different colour.
H/W - For Tuesday 20th Sept. Find an example of the description of a scene from a novel. Annotate any examples you find of Adverbs, Adjectives, Perspective words or references to sounds and smells.
"Who are you?" _______-ed the man _________-ly as he ___(action)_____
"I am the child you abandonned!"

__________-ed the ghost _________-ly as he...
Create an engaging dialogue between two characters.
How has the writer used language to
How has the writer structured the text to sustain the engagement of the reader? [8]

How is the reader hooked in? What is dramatic about the opening paragraph?

What dramatic moment(s) are there, and Where is tension created?

How are the senses of the reader appealed to in this passage?

How & why do the feelings of Scrooge's character develop?

How does the writer engage the reader about suggesting what is to happen later on in the narrative?

What moral message does the writer present to the reader through this scene?

Where does the writer shift the focus of our attention to throughout this passage?
The writer immediately hooks the attention of the reader...

The writer maintains the interest of the reader by shifting the focus to...

The writer builds up tension by.......... this then leads up to the dramatic moment when...

The writer leaves the reader still engaged at the end of the passage because...



Exciting Colours
How did Magwitch earn his money?

Why did he give it to Pip?
Summarise the narrative so far using as many words as possible.
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