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Ms Wu Essay Correction

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Steven Lian

on 1 March 2017

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Transcript of Ms Wu Essay Correction

Essay Correction: School Uniform
How to Improve Your Essay
Mask the income difference between families. All children dress the same, whether rich or poor.
Structure+linking device
emblazoned with
the school's logo
dress code
school uniform
implement a policy
a sense of beloning / order
a badge of pride
reduce distraction
sharpen one's focus on school work
avoid peer pressure
curb violence
foster a better leaning environment
foster school spirit
promote discipline
appropriate clothing
mask the income differnce
school administrators
get sidetracked by the latest fashion trends

Vocabulary.com word list 2
Brainstorming Ideas
Increase students' self-esteem because they do not have to participate in the "school fashion show." Dressing alike helps students learn that what really counts is on the inside.
Decrease the influence of gangs and gang violence. Uniforms make it more difficult to sneak in weapons, and easier to ban gang colors or symbols.
Improve learning by reducing distraction, sharpening focus on schoolwork and making the classroom a more serious environment.
Save families time and money. Many parents report that three uniforms cost about the same as one pair of designer jeans. Even some students admit that wearing the same colors everyday makes it easier to shop for new clothes.
Develop only two main points
Use detailed and accurate words and phrases
Use more linking devices and signposting phrases
by Z. Lian
Full transcript