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HSCI 120 Social Connections (Chapter 3)

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by

Jacob VanderKam

on 27 November 2014

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Transcript of HSCI 120 Social Connections (Chapter 3)

Chapter 3
Social Connections
Spirituality: experience of connection to self, others, & larger community, providing sense of purpose and meaning
Spiritually connected people stay healthier and live longer
Spiritual connectedness is associated with high levels of health-related quality of life
Finding a Community
That Works for You
Value system: set of guidelines for how you want to live your life
Community Starts Within
Relationships are strongest when there is a balance between intimacy & autonomy
Keeping Your Relationships Strong and Vital
Challenges of married life
Insufficient problem-solving skills
Lack of commitment
Unrealistic expectations
Unsuitable choice of mate
Divorce
Age at first marriage has risen
2009 median age: men at 28, women at 26
Benefits for both individual and society
Marriage
Heterosexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to members of the other sex
Sexual Orientation
As a listener, give the other person time & space
Building Communication Skills
Social exchange theory suggests that falling in love and choosing a partner are based on the exchange of “commodities’”
What Is Love?
Independence & maturity
Self-esteem & mutual respect
Good communication
Open expression of sexual affection & respect
Enjoy spending time together in leisure activities
Acknowledge strengths & failings
Assertive & flexible in wants & needs
Handle conflict constructively
Friends as well as lovers; unselfish caring
Good family & friend relationships
Shared spiritual values
Considered longer-lasting and more stable compared to romantic relationships
Friendships &
Other Kinds of Relationships
Family
Community
Classmates, teammates, colleagues
Acquaintances, friends, sexual partners
Relationships are fraught with difficulties
Divorce
Single-parent and blended families
Living alone
“Hooking up”
Personal Relationships
People who give time, money, support to others are likely to be more satisfied with their lives
Finding a Community
That Works for You
Positive relationships within a community are essential to personal health and growth
Relationships & Communities
Can have valuable relationship skills:
Flexible role relationships
Ability to adapt to a partner
Ability to negotiate and share decision-making
Effective parenting skills
Gay & Lesbian Partnerships
Marriage
Gay and lesbian partnerships
Cohabitation
Divorce
Blended families
Singlehood
Committed Relationships
& Lifestyle Choices
Gender refers to masculine or feminine behaviors and characteristics considered appropriate in a particular culture
Sex & Gender
Nonverbal & verbal communication cues make up the
metamessage
, or the unspoken message you send or get when communicating
Communication
The Internet is playing a larger role
Geography a less significant factor
Online social networking
Importance of caution: How much do you
really know about the person?
The Process of Finding a Partner:
Dating & More
Factors that promote attraction are:
Love & Intimacy
Intimate relationships have similarities to friendships, but also other qualities
Strengths of
Successful Partnerships
Relationships begin with who you are as an individual and what you bring to the relationship
A Healthy Sense of Self
Divorce Rates by Age Group
Sternberg’s Love Triangle
Relationships are at
the heart of the
human experience
Examples of important attributes are:
A reasonably high self-esteem
A capacity for empathy
The ability both to be alone
& with others
Friendship is a reciprocal relationship
based on mutual liking and caring, respect and trust, interest and companionship
Networks that provide social support also increase one’s sense of self-worth
Offers a psychological and emotional buffer against stress, anxiety, and depression
More exclusive
Deeper levels of connection & caring
Sexual component
Strengths of
Successful Partnerships
People seem to use a systematic screening process when deciding if someone could be a potential partner
Proximity or familiarity
Physical attractiveness
Similar characteristics (values & attitudes)
Indirectness is not an effective strategy.
People who are straightforward and respectful in developing a relationship are more likely to get a positive response.
Partners are often found through social connections
Similarity theory is based on the concept that we fall in love with people who are similar to us in important ways
Sternberg’s theory of the “love triangle” has three dimensions:
Love
Status
Property
Services
Intimacy
Passion
Commitment
Nonverbal communication includes facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, body position and movement, and spatial behavior
When you speak, know your feelings,
motives, & intentions
Use “I” statements:
Assertiveness: speaking up for
yourself without violating
someone else’s rights
Good communication skills help make conflict constructive
“I feel…when you…” vs. “You make me feel…”
Gender role is a set of behaviors and activities a person engages in to conform to society’s expectation of his or her sex
Sex is a person’s biological status as a male or female
Intersex is a condition in which the genitals are ambiguous at birth
Transgender: having a sense of identity as a male or female that conflicts with one’s biological sex
Bisexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to both sexes
Homosexuality: emotional and sexual attraction to members of the same sex
Sexual orientation refers to the emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction to a member of the same sex, the other sex, or both
Influenced by a complex interaction of biological, psychological, and societal factors
Characteristics of successful or unsuccessful marriage typically present before marriage
Both a legal union and a contract between the couple and the state
Important predictor of successful marriage: positive reasons for getting married
Men more likely to have a sexual affair; women more likely to end a bad marriage by having an affair
Same-sex couples also have a desire for intimacy, companionship, passion and commitment in relationships
Same-sex relationships are not as accepted as heterosexual relationships
Homophobia: irrational fear of homosexuality and homosexuals
Forty to fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce due to...
Best served by continuing contact with both parents, as long as parents get along
Leading cause of poverty & Especially hard on children
Communication
is the tool that partners & families use to adjust levels of cohesion or flexibility when change is needed
Cohesion:
the dynamic balance between separateness and togetherness in both couple and family relationships
Flexibility:
the dynamic balance between
stability & change
Community:
group of people connected in a way that transcends casual attachment
Typically, shared common goals and sense of belonging
Being active in a community is likely to have a positive impact on health
Improve social capital: sharing & exchanging of resources
Improve self-esteem
When you identify & pursue personal goals, you take responsibility for yourself & your life
Fulfilling community participation requires an understanding of your values, what gives your life meaning, and what you want to accomplish
Meaning in life comes from using one’s strengths to serve a larger end
Values underlie moral principles & behavior
Social causes can unite people from diverse backgrounds for a common good
Peace Corps; Habitat for Humanity; Greenpeace; Earth Charter Initiative; others?
Religious & spiritual communities
Social activism & the global community
Volunteering
Internet communities
Embracing diverse cultures past and present; expressing inner thoughts and feelings
The arts
Meant to teach how to take the risk of getting involved in the lives of others
Service learning
One-on-one contact and direct involvement are key to positive effects
Baggage v. gifts
good, bad, & ugly
do you have a list?
how long is long enough to call/text back?
selflessness
culture?
For next class...
Read chapter 14 (CVD)
Turn in proof of nutritional counseling
Do something selfless for someone you love
Midterm 2 countdown: 5 more lectures
Formulate a plan for world peace
Full transcript