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Dealing with difficult people

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Ethan Bannar

on 5 December 2013

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Transcript of Dealing with difficult people

Dealing with difficult people
Ethan Bannar
Jenna Nealon
OBJECTIVES
Think of a few times that you have dealt with difficult people
How did you handled the situation
Do you think you could have handled the situation differently?
Discuss with your neighbor
Share with us

What are sometimes that you have been in conflict with a difficult person?
How did you resolve the situation?
Do you feel that you could have done things differnetly?
Goals
After this presentation you will have new skills that will help you be successful even when working or dealing with a difficult people.
Learn to be a mediator during conflict
Work together to understand working through these situations.
Lets play a game
Helper vs. Saboteur
Communication
Hearing
vs.
Listening
Conflict resolution
From: "The Office"
http://www.nbc.com/the-office/video/conflict-resolution/n21591/
Hearing
Define Hearing

Shout a few ideas out!
Audition
Perception of sound
Detecting vibrations
Senses
Hearing:
The process, function, or power of perceiving sound; specifically the special sense by which noises and tones are received as stimuli
Listening
Define Listening
Shout out a few ideas
Common answers
Understanding sound
Paying attention
Thinking about sounds
Good, lets look at the definition
Listening:
Listening is a neurological cognition regarding the processing of auditory stimuli received by the auditory system and understanding what is being perceived.
"Verb"
"Noun"
Active listening
1. Listen carefully to the words, tone, and body language of the person
2. Reflect back what you have processed in open statements
3. Ask clarifying questions
I Statements:
Take the blame off of the other person
Effectively express emotions without sounding defensive
Lets try something
The common "I" statement:
"When happens, I feel "
With the person sitting next to you, practice using I statements.
Use these situations or come up with your own:
Roommate come home late and wakes you up
Classmate misses group project deadline
Roommate Eats all your snacks
Shout out a few ideas!
Lets Interact
Why are

we here?
Tips for these situations!
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
Don't get dragged down with the Debbie downers!
Listen: Don't ignore them, it will just make things worse
Use a time limit for venting
Do not dominate
Use a talking piece
Do not settle for less
that fuels the other persons drive to dominate
It is tempting but detrimental to the outcome of the conflict. Try to resist.
Don't be silent
The other person could interpret this as you agreeing with everything
Do not turn facts into extremes
Move to problem solving
Avoid complaining, all that does is drags things out
Cut them off
When all else fails
Politely shut them down
"Can we change the subject? If you want to vent for a couple minutes, fine. If you want me to help you solve the problem, fine. But life is too short to wallow. Let’s move on to something else, OK?"
Varner House
Individual counseling
Group counseling
Psychiatric (medication)
Consultation (helping you help others)
Outreach
Sexual Assault
24/7 crisis intervention
Community referrals

Guess what! Its free and confidential
What they offer...
Before you leave
Please fill out an evaluation of this presentation
You must fill this out to receive a stamp
Have a great night
Thanks for coming

What did either of the two do wrong?

What did either of the two do right?

NOW
Get in groups of 6 people
Draw a paper from hat
DO NOT SHOW ANYONE

Goal
As accurately as possible recreate the drawling
Your group must not have any saboteurs still in play by the time you are finished
Roles
Helpers: Help the group complete the task
Saboteurs: sabotage the efforts of the group
Rules
If you accuse a group member of sabotage. Point to them and say "I accuse you of sabotage"
At that moment the person who is accused must exit the group. DO NOT SPEAK
You cannot argue with an accusation
You must not have any other interactions with the group until the activity is over
What could Barney have done differently?
Lets start off with a video clip from "How I Met Your Mother"
Listen closely for "I statements" in this clip from
"The Big Bang Theory"
Barney from "How I met your Mother" is going to give us a perfect example of what not to do when conflict arises!
Full transcript