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Copy of Template for BOARD GAME
Transcript of Copy of Template for BOARD GAME
Meet the Author
Sit At The Table
Are You My Mentor?
Seek and Speak Your Truth
Don't Leave Before You Leave
Make Your Partner a Real Partner
The Myth of Doing it All
Let's Start Talking About It
Working Toward Equality
chief operating officer of Facebook since 2008.
In June 2012, she was also elected to the board of directors, becoming the first woman to serve on its board.
Vice President of Global Online Sales and Operations at Google
Sandberg served as chief of staff for the United States Department of the Treasury (under Larry Summers)
In 2012, she was named in Time 100, an annual list of the 100 most influential people in the world
Intro: Internalizing the Revolution
Sheryl Sandberg, a native Floridian
and graduate of Harvard Business school
has publicly promoted women's success since her TED Talk in 2010 entitled "Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders."
First Line of the book: "I got pregnant" (3).
Of the 195 independent countries in the world, only 17 are led by women.
21 of Fortune 500 CEO's are women.
"A truly equal world would be one where women ran half our countries and companies and men ran half our homes. ...The laws of economic and many studies of diversity tell us that if we tapped the entire pool of resources and talent, our performance would improve"(7).
The Leadership Ambition Gap:
What Would You Do If You Weren't Afraid?
Too few workplaces offer flexibility and access to child care and parental leave
Men have an easier time finding mentors and sponsors
Women have to prove themselves more than than men
Issues for Women in the Workplace:
Not a memoir, self-help book, career-management book, or feminist manifesto, but sort of all three
"lacking self-confidence, not raising our hands, pulling back when we should be leaning in" (8).
Chicken and the Egg situation: what comes first, women tearing down external barriers after holding leadership roles or eliminating the barriers to enable women to be hired for those jobs?
The Story: Sandberg's Grandmother was pulled out of highschool but ended up graduating from Berkeley. She worked, but stopped after marriage, then dove back in to save her husband's business. Sandberg's mother was similar (attended UPenn and received Ph.D.) Still, she found herself a stay-at-home mom for many years to care for her children. Now, Sheryl remembers having an equal amount of men and women (and equally competitive) in college. However, as she advanced in her career, she finds less and less women surrounding her (some work part-time while others dropped out of the workforce entirely to raise children). While laws and opportunities are technically different, age-old patterns repeat themselves.
The Point: Girls often accept their status as caretaker and are discouraged by other factors, too.When girls try to lead, there are often called "bossy" while boys are rarely viewed in this way.
Decisions about leaving the workplace are often fueled by fear. "Fear of not being liked. Fear of making the wrong choice. Fear of drawing negative attention. Fear of overreaching. Fear of being judged. Fear of failure. And the holy trinity of fear: fear of being a bad mother/wife/daughter" (24).
Women deal with judgements based on gender stereotypes and stereotype threat (being reminded of stereotypes can become a self-fulfilling prophecy).
Free to Be You And Me
Long Story Short: Sheryl hosted a
silicon valley meeting with fifteen executives...Treasury Secretary at Facebook showed up with four senior and junior members of his time. While all executives gathered around the table for the meeting, the four members (all women) sat off to the side and shied away from Sheryl's invitation to join the group. She addressed them afterward to tell them that they should always put themselves out there and be involved with the action, never spectating over participating.
"Opportunities are rarely offered, they're seized" (34).
Success and Likeability
Sit At The Table
Overcoming the Imposter Syndome
At this stage of the game, Sheryl Sandberg is moved by a speech given by Dr. Peggy McIntosh from the Wellesly Centers for Women.
"Instead of feeling worthy of recognition, they feel undeserving and guilty, as if a mistake has been made. Despite being high achievers, even experts in their fields, women can't seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time before they are found out for who they really are- imposters will limited skills or abilities" (28)
It's A Jungle Gym, Not A Ladder
"In order to protect ourselves from being disliked, we question our abilities and down play our achievements, especially in the presence of others. We put ourselves down before others can" (41).
Heidi Roizen is a real venture capitalist and entrepreneur. Her story of success was shared with a class of college students at NYU and Columbia- but half the students read the same story with her name changed to the male "Howard." While students evaluated Heidi and Howard as equally competent, Howard appeared the more desirable colleague and Heidi seemed selfish and was more disliked.
People often think of careers as
More than one person can be on top...
Fact: Mentorship (for advice) and Sponsorship (for advocacy and connections) are integral to furthering one's career.
Issue: 1)Finding a mentor is especially difficult for women, who are often hesitant as to how to make the initial connection. 2) Many professionals who would be great mentors are men, who are more likely to mentor younger men (remind them of themselves) over women (senior men worry about seeming inappropriate or like they are dating the woman).
Explicitly ask "are you my mentor" or "will you be my mentor?" This makes people feel uncomfortable- the mentor mentee relationship should be natural instead of forced
Complain to a mentor. Although validating, this is a waste of their (and your) time
Come unprepared to a mentor or expect hours of their time. Mentors should be used to give specific advice and answer mentee's questions. One should not expect therapy-like interaction. They already have one job, mentoring should be rewarding, not draining.
Approach senior employees asking for a small amount of their time. Ask prepared questions and follow up with results (and more questions!). Try to go the extra mile and perform incredibly well to catch people's attention, show your dedication, and make mentors feel their time invested in you is put to good use.
"People in low-power positions are more hesitant to share their views and often hedge their statements when they do"..."fear of not being considered a team player. Fear of seeming negative or nagging. Fear that constructive criticism will come across as just plain old criticism. Fear that by speaking up, we will call attention to ourselves, which might open us up to attack" (78).
There are two truths: my truth, and yours...
SO: Present opinion in a matter that cannot be contested, will not make people angry, and leaves no room for a rash, defensive response.
Overarching moral: Honest feedback, when presented constructively is ALWAYS a good idea to give an receive.
As this book does incredibly, allow this game to take you through Sheryl Sandberg's journey into making women better leaders.
Share emotions. Our feelings and personality DO influence professional decisions. Don't be afraid to bring you whole self to the job- it is not a sign of weakness.
The idea here is that women often pull back, rejecting opportunities to rise in rank and responsibility BECAUSE they do not want to take on so much that they become unfit mothers when they have children. (Their plan is to pull back now so they do not have to quit entirely after having a baby). However, they are stifling their growth unnecessarily soon (often years before
becoming pregnant) and will end up having a job that they feel less compelled to return to after giving birth. Feeling underused and less accomplished than friends who progressed while you pulled back BEFORE THE BABY leaves women wanting to stay home indefinitely with children AFTER THE BABY. Sandberg advises women to lean in now- even if they end up being a stay at home mother, they did not waste years of their life being at the same level of their career.
-20% of mothers whose husband's earnings between 25th and 75th percentiles were out of the labor force
-52% with husbands in bottom 25%
-40% with husbands in the top fourth
Women often feel their income barely covers childcare and are better off staying home.
Instead consider, the time and money put into the career total AND the fact that salaries increase overtime, what a woman will make after staying in the labor force twenty years will by far surpass childcare costs in the present.
"Contrary to the popular notion that only unmarried women can make it to the top... Of the twenty-eight women who have served as CEO's of Fortune 500 companies, twenty-six were married, one was divorced, and only one had never married" (110).
Many of these women cited the support of their husbands as critical to their professional success, while around 60% of educated women who have left the workforce noted their husbands lack of participation in childcare and unwillingness to accommodate as causes for their pulling back from career.
Avoid "maternal gatekeeping" If a woman's husband is helping, she should let him do it his way and should never chastise small mistakes- this discourages a partner and makes them less eager to help.
"When fathers provide even just routine child care, children have higher levels of educational and economic achievement and lower delinquency rates" (113).
In a man's defense, men are often evaluated based on professional success and are expected to make a higher income (and do less housework than his wife). This sexist view must change.
We are influenced by how our parents' divided work and managed a family- be a good model to your children.
With his man-made wings, Icarus flew higher and higher.
He disregarded his father who warned Icarus not to fly too near the sun, and Icarus' wings melted when he tried to fly too high.
"Having it all" is a trap...
"Gloria Steinem said it best, 'Superwoman is the adversary of the women's movement'" (123).
Exert control over your career- make choices carefully, determine where you draw the line, and stick to it.
"In 2009, married middle-income parents worked about eight and a half hours more per week than in 1979" (131).
"In 1975, stay-at-home mothers spent an average of eleven hours per week on primary child care...mothers employed...spent six hours" (134).
Today, stay-at-home mothers spend about seventeen hours a week on primary child care, on average, while mothers who work outside the home spend about eleven hours
While women often compare their work hours to men with fewer domestic responsibilities and their time with kids to full-time mothers, women work more and spend more time with their kids than their mothers did.
We all make choices and we all have our limits. All we can do is do the best with our circumstances and remember that "done is better than perfect."
Working Toward Equality
The issue here is the "norm" determines the definition, and the minority has an adjective stuck in front of whatever the noun may be, reminding all that the minority is not the common practice. Instead of being leaders or CEOs or managers, they are "women leaders" and "women" whatever elses.
Feminism is often associated with radical, men-hating, "bra-burning" protestors who are difficult to deal with and have difficulties finding a boyfriend. Women are often reluctant to call themselves feminists, but, when googled, feminism is "the advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." This is the correct definition and women should be proud to associate themselves with this opinion.
Laws intended to prevent gender discrimination in the workplace- in spite of their good intentions, they instill strict beliefs that gender issues (from a woman's fears about gender bias, having children, or maternity leave) cannot be discussed professionally due to fears of lawsuits or unfairness. Discussing these questions, however, helps women plan to stay in the workforce and empowers them to take more opportunities for growth when they have the opportunity to acknowledge their personal needs.
"All of us- men and women alike-have to understand and acknowledge how stereotypes and biases cloud our beliefs and perpetuate the status quo. Instead of ignoring our differences, we need to accept and transcend them" (159).
We can accomplish more together, after all, women account for fifty percent of the population.
We should not take rudeness from other women in the workplace more personally than that of men, gender should neither excuse nor intensify reactions to bad behavior.
Women with jobs need to acknowledge the validity of mothers who work in the home while these mothers must stop disapproving of mothers with careers outside of the home. Feeling guilt and the need to justify one's life choices takes energy away from the real issue.
"The goal is to work toward a world where those social norms no longer exist" (169).
"Our job is not to make young women grateful. It is to make them ungrateful so they keep going."
This is not reality.
It is misleading,
you are offered a ticket
Don't ask which seat....
(Fast growth trumps a high position. Sacrifice pride for poetntial.)
Thanks for Playing!
Whatever you love, whatever you do, lean in all the way.
As a woman, these three words are not just life changing, but career changing.
Having a baby is the deciding moment for a woman- whether she will stay in the game and continue to progress or lean back from her job to dedicate herself fully to child rearing.