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Positive Intent - Day 7 Conscious Discipline

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by

Lori Allen

on 13 March 2017

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Transcript of Positive Intent - Day 7 Conscious Discipline

The Skill of Positive Intent
hurtful situations helpful communication
The Power of Love
State child's positive intention:
"You wanted_______."
Attributing positive intent creates teaching moments by transforming resistance into cooperation.
Positive Intent
day 7
To "see" through a different set of eyes
How to use the power of love to help children take responsibility for poor choices
Ways to effectively deal with aggression, both physical and verbal
Ways to turn a resisting moment into a teaching moment
How the skill of positive intent can help us stop beating ourselves up when we make mistakes
Creating Teaching Moments
Positive intent is ____________ for the discouraged
encouragement
We must see children differently in order for them to behave differently!
Two states of being:
Seeking love Offering love
or
HOMEWORK
Read Pages 272-285
As you practice positive intent this week,
journal an event that happened to you where you practiced implementing positive intent with someone.
Activity to Practice Positive Intent
State for the child the skill s/he used in obtaining what they wanted (no judgement, just the facts!)
"So you _______."

State skill that is missing:
"You didn't know what to do."

State the limit:
"You may not ____. It is not safe."
Teach the child another way.
"when you want _____, say ____."
This is the core of your bully prevention program!
Remember this....
"Negative intent assumes the child's behavior is about
you
, while positive intent lets the child's behavior be about
the child
."
Dr. Becky Bailey
Positive Intent Video
Positive Intent is essential for our most difficult and challenging children because they have defined themselves as "bad" or "unworthy", have incorporated this into their self-concept, and live out this self-fulfilling prophecy in school.
(start at 7:30)
If we rant and rave - we teach:
1. it's ok to pitch a fit
2. people who act differently than us deserve to be treated poorly.
When we S.T.A.R. and then wish people well, we teach:
1. there's more to the story than we know
2. to take a deep breath, wish well and be prepared.
Bully Prevention
Assigning Negative Intent
defines the core of the child and behavior as bad
throws us into lower centers of the brain where blame and punishment are the only options
defines the child as bad in the eyes of the class and fellow teachers
Assigning Positive Intent
defines the core of the child is good enough and the child's
behavior
needs to change.
keeps us in the higher centers of the brain where solutions and change are possible, and we can determine which executive skills the child is missing
defines the child as one who makes mistakes and is willing to learn in the eyes of the class and fellow teachers.
Are you building a bully??

Using Your BIG Voice ~ Your Words Have Power!
*Handouts - Re-framing table
Full transcript