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Assertiveness for Beginners - Study Online

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Stavroula Konidari

on 11 October 2016

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Transcript of Assertiveness for Beginners - Study Online

Aim
This session aims to enable you to use a range of skills so that you can confidently
assert
your needs.
Method
You will begin the session by suggesting ways that people
behave
, followed by a summary of different
behaviours
.

You will consider how you and others feel when these behaviours are used. You will then
rate
how assertive you are with different people in different
situations
.

You will then think about areas in your life in which you would like to be more assertive. The session concludes with some top tips.
Ideastorm
Suggest ways that people behave, and ways that people can behave in different situations. Write your answers on your piece of paper.

Note
: You’re looking for characteristics of behaviour, i.e. shouting, quiet, know what they want etc...

When you have got lots of characteristics, think how these can fit into the three types of behaviour of
assertive
,
aggressive
and
passive
.

Assertiveness for Beginners - Study Online
Careers & Employability
volunteering@londonmet.ac.uk

Learning objectives
By the end of this session you will be able to:
Describe
passive
,
assertive
and
aggressive
behaviours
Discuss your own
levels
of assertiveness
Identify
situations
where you can be more assertive
Suggest
methods
of dealing with stress and set
goals
for managing your stress levels in the future
Resources required:
Pen
Paper
Printer (optional)
Suggested Timing:
1h30

The word
assertiveness
is used to describe a certain pattern of
behaviour
or a style of
communicating
with others. It is a way of behaving which means that we are communicating our feelings, thoughts and beliefs in an
open
,
honest
manner without violating the rights of other people. Being assertive means that we are able to ask for what we want from others and we can say “no” to the requests of others. Behaving assertively can benefit you personally, academically, and in your future careers – this session will show you how.
minutes
Here are some examples below:
Aggressive
Shouting
Pointing
Angry
Loud
Violent
Defensive
Hostile
Rude
Passive
Doormat
Quiet
Shy
Do anything to please
Manipulative
Assertive
Calm
Controlled
Know what they want
Confident
Friendly
What do you think are the key characteristics for each behaviour?
minutes
Aggressively
You feel powerful, dominant, get your own way, guilty
Others feel hurt, angry, aggressive, want to dominate, want to leave, dislike
Passively
You feel your point is not being considered, smoothed things over, kept the peace, not respected, angry, frustrated
Others feel angry, manipulated, want to walk over you, aggressive, frustrated
Assertively
You feel you have expressed your feelings, needs, desires, you can respect the other person’s point of view, honest, confidence, can accept mutual compromise
Others feel they can express their feelings, needs, desires, they can respect your point of view, honesty, confidence, can accept mutual compromise
minutes
Which is which quiz
You will now look at different experiences that will fit with the different characteristics of behaviour
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzKOfYDpUvKKTnQxSzg3c05uYlE
Open the below link or print the document and take the quiz. Check your answers at the end.
minutes
Being assertive often helps to be more assertive. The
benefits
of assertion are as follows:

Being assertive means being true to yourself so you can:
Be more
confident
in your own ability
Recognise and accept the strengths of others without feeling challenged by their abilities
Take
responsibility
for your own actions without blaming others
Not be afraid to fail or mistakes
Be yourself

Being assertive is not about getting your own way, treading on others, blowing yourself up with self-importance or losing sight of your responsibilities to others.
minutes
Rate your assertiveness
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzKOfYDpUvKKYkdjaUNDY3lIMms
Rate your own assertiveness as suggested on the worksheet below.
There is no right or wrong answers. You might find this element challenging; to be honest with yourself.
minutes
Do your self-assessments surprise you?
Are your levels of assertiveness different with different people? If so, why?
What prevents you being assertive with some of those people?
What would help you to be more assertive with those people?
Think about your answers
to the following questions
minutes
Assertiveness situations
Open the document below
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzKOfYDpUvKKWk9mdEJJSUJjeHM
Read each situation and suggest how you might deal with it.
Ask yourself whether the final decision is an assertive response. Try to avoid too many “it depends” responses – make a decision.
There is no right or wrong answer. The exercise illustrates how
difficult it is to be assertive.
minutes
Complete the worksheet below
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzKOfYDpUvKKY3g4cmN2VEVoYUk
minutes
Think and write down your answers
When should you be assertive?
Did your answers include any of the following?
When you want something
When you don’t want something
When you want to negotiate
In the face of criticism
When you are happy
When you are angry
To give feedback
When you are feeling hurt
When you are feeling unhappy
minutes
Assertiveness is a key skill for that you will need in the future. Think of activities or everyday situations that you could undertake or do that will help to increase your level of assertiveness.

For example:
say “Good morning” to someone you wouldn’t usually speak to
Stop someone in the street and ask for directions
Go into an expensive shop, try on some clothes, but don’t buy anything
Buy something from a shop and deliberately return it, saying “I’ve changed my mind”
Tell a close friend something about yourself that you have never told anyone before
Take on a leadership role within a new club or society
minutes
Review
Think about:
The difference between passive, aggressive and assertive behaviours
Think about the situations you’ve identified when you’re not very assertive
Different techniques to improve your assertiveness
Download and keep the below guide on "How to be more assertive"
https://drive.google.com/open?id=0BzKOfYDpUvKKSVYxenpyZFE3UFU
Write down your
5 top tips
which you will implement personally to improve your assertiveness skills. Stick it on your
wall
at home or put it on your
desk
where you will see it often.
Post-workshop survey
Take 2 minutes to help us make our next workshop better
Click on the link below to give us feedback
https://volunteeringlondonmet.typeform.com/to/zKe5wA
Full transcript