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KS2 Literacy - Show, Don't Tell

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by

Gavin Brock

on 27 September 2013

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Transcript of KS2 Literacy - Show, Don't Tell

Show
(Don't Tell!)
Learning Objectives:
What if I were to tell you...
kindest
...I am the:
sweetest
smartest
most honest
person you could ever meet...
...would you believe me?
We are learning to:
improve our narrative writing
The girls were excited.
Giggles and screams filled the arena.
The pizza was delicious.
Steam rising up off the melted cheese made my mouth water.
The teacher was angry.
Sitting at her desk, her
jaw tightened
. Her
eyes flashed
heat waves at me. The words erupted from her
pursed lips
, "I want to talk to you after class." The final
hiss in her voice
warned me about her feelings.
Your turn:
Can you give examples to show the following?
Think about:
Body Language
How do
you
know when someone is angry?
Come up with five
actions
that demonstrate anger.
Flashing
eyes
Hissing speech
Tightened jaw
Furrowed brow
Pursed
lips
Take a look at this sentence:
The girl entered the building. Inside the lobby, she saw a statue.
The
beautiful
girl stepped into the
extraordinary
building. There, she saw a
wonderful
statue.
The writer hasn't give us
any
description.
What does the girl look like?
What is the building like?
What is the statue like?
To make writing more interesting, we can add
description
.
Now, how about this version?:
Is this any better?
The writer
still
hasn't give us any description.
Subjective
words such as
beautiful
,
extraordinary
or
wonderful
tell the reader absolutely nothing (other than the writer's opinion).
Nobody likes being told what to think.

Persuade the reader to agree by
showing

why
the girl is beautiful, or
why
the building is extraordinary.
Let's try again, using
objective
descriptors:
The dainty redhead stepped inside the towering, glass-plated mansion. An enormous bronze statue of a galloping stallion was the first thing that caught her eye.
Specific details help to create a vivid picture in the mind of the reader.
'Girl' has been replaced by 'redhead'.
'Building' has been replaced by 'mansion'.
The more specific, the better.
Choose your words carefully.
What if you saw me (with your own eyes):
helping an old lady cross the road?
making a generous donation to charity?
rescuing a cat that was stuck up a tree?
Would you be more likely to believe me?
However...
use specific examples to show (rather than tell)
The soft curls were now damp with perspiration and the anticipation of the event.
They held tight to each other in a mock effort to contain themselves.
Arms flailed upward, and voices echoed in varying tones. The moment was here.
The first bite, my teeth sinking into the cheese through the tomato sauce and into the moist crust, made me chew and swallow rapidly.
Even the cheese and tomato sauce, sticking to my fingertips, begged to be licked.
Your turn:
Activity:
Can you elaborate on the following descriptions?
Come up with
five examples
to support your opinion and persuade the reader.
Choose the
best three
.
The sunset was beautiful.
The fireworks were spectacular.
The man was nervous.
The cat was lazy.
The car was old and worn-out.
Plenary:
Share your ideas with the class.
Evaluate one another's ideas using
two stars and a wish.
Full transcript