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Chapter 7 Interpersonal Communication

Listening
by

Kelsey Burrell

on 26 March 2014

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Transcript of Chapter 7 Interpersonal Communication

Chapter 7
Listening

Conclusion
Thank you for your attention!
And one more thing...
is here
The Nature of Listening

What is Listening?

Definition:The active process of making meaning out of another person's spoken message.

Two key elements in this definition:

1. Listening is a PROCESS, it is NOT automatic.

2. Listening isn't just about hearing, but it is about creating MEANING on what you are hearing.
The Nature of Listening

What's your listening style?

People listen for various reasons-sometimes to learn, to evaluate or to provide empathy. Researchers have identified four distinct styles, each consisting of a different set of attitudes and beliefs about listening. Research suggests that most of us have one primary style that we use most often. Which of the following are YOU???
The Nature of Listening

People-Oriented Style: This style emphasizes concern for other people's emotions and interests. As the name suggests, someone with a people oriented style tries to find common interests with others.
Subject 1
Subject 2
Subject 3
The Nature of Listening

2. Action-Oriented Style- This style emphasizes organization and precision. An action-oriented listener likes neat, concise, error-free presentations.
Subject 4
The Nature of Listening

3. Content-Oriented style-This style emphasizes intellectual challenges. Someone with a content-oriented style likes to attend to details and think things through.
Subject 5
The Nature of Listening

Time-Oriented Style- This style emphasizes efficiency. Someone with at time-oriented style prefers conversations that are quick and to-the-point.
Subject 6
Listening Effectively

Listening to someone does not always mean you are listening EFFECTIVELY. Effective listening involves listening with the conscious and explicit goal of understanding what the speaker is attempting to communicate.

You may not fully understand what the person is saying, but as long as the goal is to understand then you are listening effectively.
Subject 7
Listening Effectively

One reason it is important to listen effectively is because we do it all day long.

A recent study of college students shows that they spend 50% of their days listening. That's half their day!

They also spend:
20% speaking
13% reading
12% writing
4% other
1% thinking about how much they enjoy Prof B's class.....
Subject 8
Listening Effectively

Listening effectively is very important in the workplace.

A survey conducted of 1,500 human resources professionals show that the #1 complaint of managers across the country is that they don't effectively listen to their employees.

Examples?
Subject 9
Listening Effectively

Listening has a profound impact on our relationships with friends, family and romantic partners.

In a survey of 50,000 women, listening was the #1 trait they wish their partner was better at.

Examples?
Subject 10
Listening Effectively

Listening also has implications for our physical health as well.

When the pharmacist gives us directions on a medication, we need to listen carefully.

Same with visiting the doctor. We need to listen carefully how to attend to a wound or fever.
Subject 11
Some Misconceptions About Listening

Often people overestimate their listening skills.

In a study of corporate managers, 94% of them rated themselves as good or excellent listeners. Their employees rated less than 5% of them as good or excellent listeners.

So where do we go wrong?

Here are a few general misconceptions about listening:
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Misconceptions of Listening

MYTH: HEARING IS THE SAME AS LISTENING

Hearing is very different from listening. Hearing is merely the perception of sound. We HEAR many things throughout the day such as:
Subject 13
Dog Bark
Alarm Clock
Misconceptions of Listening

By the same token we sometimes LISTEN without HEARING.

This example shows how the silence is taken as meaningful, when in fact it is not.
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Misconceptions of Listening

MYTH: LISTENING IS NATURAL AND EFFORTLESS

Listening is a skill, it is not a natural born talent. Being a good listener often means "reading between the lines" and figuring out what the other person is really saying.

Counselors and social workers are trained to hear things like this. If someone says to them, "I have been having difficulty sleeping." Hearing would tell them that they are simply restless, but listening would lead you to ask , "Why" and get to the real issues that are causing the restlessness.
Subject 15
Misconceptions of Listening

Knowing that hearing involves "hearing between the lines" means we can all improve our listening skills.

Men, remember that most times, women just want you to listen rather than solve their problems!

With that said, Ladies, remember that men are NOT mind readers!

Let's look at an example:
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Misconceptions about Listening

MYTH: ALL LISTENERS HEAR THE SAME MESSAGE

As you can see, there are many different types and styles of listening so it is important to remember that we all hear things differently.
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Culture and Sex Affect Listening Behaviors

People in America will often say "Time is Money"

And will ask speakers to "Get to the Point"

In Asian Cultures, time is not really a factor as they place more of an emphasis on harmony rather than time.

They also pay more attention to nonverbal cues to determine a speakers message.
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Women and Men


QUESTION

Who interrupts a speaker more, women or men?
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Culture and Sex Affect Listening Behavior


QUESTION:

Who is better at maintaining eye contact, women or men?
Subject 19
Stages of Effective Listening

The Hurier Model- A model of effective listening that involves hearing, understanding, remembering, interpreting, evaluating and responding.
Subject 20
Stages of Effective Listening

Hearing- As we said earlier, this is simply a physical process
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Stages of Effective Listening

Understanding- It is important that we understand what a speaker is saying. Often times we are embarrassed to ask questions. However, if we are unsure and don't ask questions, we miss out on crucial information.

ASK QUESTIONS!
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Stages of Effective Listening

Remembering: Part of forming good interpersonal relationships is remembering your interactions with others.

How many times have you run into someone and they remember your name and you don't remember their name?

Studies show that we only recall 25% of what we hear and only 20% of that information is usually correct.
Subject 23
Word associations and Acronyms are a good way to practice memory skills.
Stages of Effective Listening


Interpreting- There are two parts to interpreting a message. The first is paying attention to all the speaker's verbal and nonverbal cues.

The second part is signaling your interpretation of the message to the speaker.

If I say," It's a beautiful day outside"

You wouldn't say, "Oh yes, the weather is so lovely today!"

You would say, "Oh yeah, isn't it just GORGEOUS out there?"
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Stages of Effective Listening

Evaluating- During the evaluation stage you are:

Judging whether the speaker's statement is accurate.

You are separating facts from opinions and determining why the speaker is saying what they are saying.

You are considering the speakers words in context to other information you have received.
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Stages of Effective Listening

Responding- There are several ways of responding

1. Stonewalling- Silence

2. Backchanneling- Nodding your head or saying "uh huh"

3. Paraphrasing- Repeating the statement in your own words.

4. Empathizing- Letting the speaker know you share their feelings

5. Supporting- Expressing agreement

6. Analyzing-Providing your own perspective

7. Advising- Communicating advice about what the speaker should do
Subject 26
Types of Listening

Informational Listening or listening to learn

What you do in most of your classes, lectures and seminars.

It often does not involve feedback, just the intake of facts, figures and statistics.
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Types of Listening


Critical Listening-Listening to evaluate or analyze what you're hearing.

An important point here is to remember we are not analyzing to find fault. We are analyzing to evaluate and assess.

Unlike Informational listening this type is more engaging because it often requires feedback and assessment from the listener.

This class is considered one where critical listening is utilized because I ask for lots of feedback and participation.
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Types of Listening

Empathetic Listening- Identifying with the speaker by understanding and experiencing what he or she is thinking and feeling.

Empathetic listening is tough because we often put ourselves in the situation and think how WE would feel, rather than how the SPEAKER feels.

It is not to be confused with sympathetic listening which means feeling sorry for someone.
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Common Barriers of Effective Listening


1. Noise

The TV on in the background
Your cell phone is ringing
Your Ipod on
If you are hungry
If you are cold
If you are tired
You recently had a fight with your boy/girlfriend
You really love Prof B's class and are always thinking of the things you learned in there........
Subject 30
Common Barriers to Effective Listening

Pseudolistening and Selective Attention

"Pretending to listen"

And

Hearing what we want to hear.

This can be dangerous because it gets you in trouble

Examples?
Subject 31
Barriers to Effective Listening

Information Overload

Think of all the advertisements you see on a daily basis?

Researchers estimate we are exposed to between 600-625 advertising messages a day.

You might think that information overload is a new term but is was coined in the 1970's by Alvin Toffler in a book entitled "Future Shock". This book talked about the rapid changes in technology and how they have a downside.
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Barriers to Effective Listening

Information overload causes distractions and interrupts people's attention in the form of radio ads, pop ups, branding and promotional items.

A 2007 study of New York based research agency found that information overload cost companies a whopping 650 billion dollars collectively.

Remember, Time is Money!
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Barriers to Effective Listening

Glazing Over

The average human being is capable of understanding up to 600 words a minute. However, the average human can only speak about 150 words a minute. This leaves a lot of time to daydream.

Daydreaming is normal because clearly our brains think faster than we speak. It is also a misconception that someone is not listening when they are daydreaming.

Don't get any ideas, you still have to pay attention in this class!!!!!
Subject 34
Barriers to Effective Listening

Rebuttal Tendency- The tendency to debate a speaker's point and formulate one's reply while the person is still speaking.

You use mental energy thinking of your response that you should be using to listen.

You may also miss some details from the speaker that are important
Subject 35
Barriers to Effective Listening


Closed Mindedness- The tendency to not listen to anything the speaker says because you disagree.

Usually this occurs due to "Hot Button Issues"

Such as:
Subject 36
Religion
Sexual Orientation
Politics
Barriers to Effective Listening

Competitive Interrupting- Interjecting when someone is speaking in order to take control of the conversation.

I am sure we can all think of someone that we "Can't get a word in edgewise with."

Examples
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Becoming a Better Informational Listener

Be aware that we actually HEAR things that are not actually said.

For example:
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Becoming a Better Informational Listener

Avoid the conformation Bias which is the tendency to pay attention only to information that supports one's values and beliefs and ignoring all the other information.


This may help you to see something in a new light. Or think in a way that you haven't thought before.
Subject 39
Becoming a Better Informational Listener

Listen for Substance More than Style

Flashy and fun presentations are good because they play to our vividness effect which says we remember more dramatic and shocking events but they can sometimes distort our reality.

Just because someone is animated may not mean the information is accurate.

Try and pay attention to content rather than Character.
Subject 40
Becoming a better Critical Listener

Be Skeptic

Don't always believe everything you see, hear or read.

Find out what is the "Agenda" behind your news.

For example:
Rupert Murdoch is a media mogul who owns, amongst other news and media outlets, The NY Times, 20Th Century Fox and the Wall Street Journal

In 2008 he hosted a 10 Million dollar fundraiser for Hillary Clinton's senate re-election campaign.

In 2012 he hosted a 10 Million fundraiser for Barack Obama's presidential campaign.
Thoughts?
Subject 41
Becoming a Better Critical Listener

Evaluate A Speakers Credibility

Just because someone does "something"does not make them in expert in the field.

Examples: Parenting and occupations

Don't always assume that everyone is an expert!
Subject 42
Becoming a Better Critical Listener

Understand Probability

A possibility means there is a slight chance something will happen

A probability means there is a 50% or higher chance that something will happen

A certainty means there is a 100% chance something will happen

Is there a possibility that Prof B will get into an accident tonight?

Sure but not probable!
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Becoming a Better Empathetic Listener

Listen Nonjudgementally

Don't jump to conclusions and resist the urge to give advice or your opinion.

A good empathetic listener knows that we often just want someone to just listen.
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Becoming a Better Empathetic Listener

Acknowledge Feelings

There is comfort in knowing we are not alone in how we feel. By saying things like:

"I can Imagine how scary this is for you"

You are letting the person know that you understand and empathize with them.
Subject 45
Becoming a Better Empathetic Listener

Communicate support nonverbally

Just by actively listening you are showing support

Eye contact is a good reflection of support as well.

And remember:
HUGS ARE FREE!!!!
Subject 46
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